Transition Away from Co-sleeping: Regression and Progress

I have written before about why we decided to co-sleep, our sleep battles in attempts to transition Eliot out of our bed, our most recent transition away from co-sleeping, and my search for new tools.  

Eliot recently turned from a not good sleeper into the worst sleeper.  The worst!  He kept creeping into our bed earlier and earlier.  Getting him to sleep for his nap and at bedtime was taking longer, requiring more wrestling (yes, I'd have to pin him down), and resulting in more tears (mostly his, but sometimes mine too).  At night, he'd wake up once an hour and a half or so.  I mean, full-on sit up in bed, talk a little, and then go back to sleep.  When he was asleep, he had to be holding onto me and was kicking Chris so badly that I was either constantly pulling Eliot away from Chris or Chris was actually getting up in the middle of the night to go sleep in Eliot's bed.

I'm all about co-sleeping if it is working and everyone is happy, but it wasn't working and no one was happy.  With a third trimester pregnancy belly and the burning need to change positions and use the bathroom, I was so uncomfortable.  I would wake up aching and my bladder felt neglected because I was trying nottt to get up to avoid disturbing my toddler (who would then greatly disturb my husband).  I was worrying all the time about how in the world this would work with a newborn--and time was running out.

I felt at a loss.  I tried everything I could think of.  And that's when Eliot tried some things I didn't want to.

In a matter of a week, Eliot stopped napping and using a paci.  Surely, I thought these things would make my life harder.  He's a mess without a nap--a really crazy mess running around my house throwing things.  However, without the nap, he started sleeping more soundly at night and didn't need the nap and no longer turned into a wild thing at 2:00 pm and 8:00 pm.

We still have an afternoon "rest" time.  He does get tired around his old nap time, but doesn't act up.  I give him some milk and we cuddle while watching tv or reading books.  He rests for about 40 minutes or so, and then is back at it.  This down time seems to help.

As for the paci, we had lost them all, so I thought I'd give it a shot.  I thought it was going to be bad and hard and a fight.  But he just went to sleep without it.  He does wake up once at night without it, though.  He cries and cries until I get him something to drink.  I'm probably perpetuating a bad habit, but you try dealing with a hysterical, crying toddler in the middle of the night.  I've let him carry on for two hours (holding him and rocking him) and he doesn't stop until I get him some milk.  Honestly, I think he is hungry, so I've been trying to get him to eat an extra snack before bed and have a banana or a banana smoothie for the melatonin.  That actually seems to help.  Also, I'll slowly work the milk down and switch to water.  And then work the water down.  Or, if little dude just has to have water in the middle of the night for a while, I really don't care.  I'll deal with that whenever we switch out of nighttime diapers--and we haven't even started potty training.

So, what used to take 15-40 minutes of holding, sometimes crying, sometimes wrestling now just takes about 10 minutes of snuggling.  Whaaa?  All because Eliot no longer naps or uses a paci?

This might sound like the same old story from me, but lately I have been laying down with him in his bed to get to sleep around 9:30 pm.  He always says he wants to sleep in the big bed instead, but he drifts off without a fuss.  Then I leave.  And he wakes up around 4:00 am.  I try to get him back down.  Sometimes he needs the milk, sometimes he goes back to sleep, but this is usually when he gets in our bed.  Then he wakes up for the day around 8:00 or 9:00 am.

I said last time that I didn't mind him getting in our bed in the early morning.  I really don't.  I just wanted him to go to sleep faster (not 40 minutes) and stay asleep in his bed until 4:00 am--none of this asleep at 11:00 pm, wake up at 12:30 am, and then get in our bed at 2:00 am stuff.  And somehow without the nap and maybe the paci, he is sleeping better.  And the 4:00 am thing is working well enough, especially since he isn't kicking or demanding to hold onto me all the time.  While he isn't an independent sleeper all the way, we're at a really good place finally, I think.

p.s. If you were wondering how the weighted blanket worked from my last sleep post, well, it just didn't work out for us.  Eliot doesn't like blankets to begin with and wasn't a fan.  Maybe it'll help a little later.