Thursday, June 28, 2012

Myrtle Beach Pt. II and Back in Lynchburg

I haven't updated in nearly a week!  I have been so busy spending time with family, thinking over life and plans, and driving driving driving.

We just made it back to Lynchburg late Tuesday afternoon.  It was nice to get away, but there is something nice about coming home to a house that I fortunately left mostly clean and certainly babyproof.  Eliot has so much fun running all around my parents' house and backyard (and going in the pool even when he isn't supposed to).  It keeps me going faster and longer than our house, though, where he can climb on the dining room table with it only being a little bit of a big deal.  Plus, all of his toys are new to him all over again.

Now that we are back, I posted some more of our vacation photos.  I won't overload you too much.

We have gotten back into our routine (in a good way).  In the mornings, Chris makes a green smoothie for himself and Eliot.  That smoothie is so green and I always think it can't get more green, but Chris finds a way.  Eliot's current smoothie recipe is:  one cup of tropical fruit, one cup of spinach, one tablespoon of fish oil, one tablespoon of seaweed, a bunch of wheat grass, and a splash of orange juice.  I know most of those ingredients sound... weird... but Eliot loves it and I must say it is darnnnn good.

Yesterday was our playgroup day.  Eliot might have fallen in love with a younger girl, Jade.  I believe Jade is about ten months old.  Anyway, Eliot followed Jade all around the house and kept trying to put his arm around her.  And Jade loved playing follow the leader!  It was precious!

Here is Jade dancing while Eliot "plays" the piano.

Just like all over the US, Lynchburg has been super hot.  Since we go off window units (and only have one downstairs), we decided to pick one up for the kitchen.  It has made a big difference and our house is so comfortable despite it being nearly 100 degrees out!
My friend Stephanie brought her baby boy, Azriel, home from the hospital the other day, so I put together a care package and took them spaghetti squash for dinner.  I always try to think of what was helpful for me when I had just given birth, so I packed up a box of momma's milk tea, tucks, breast pads, paper plates, and then a crocheted baby hat for the fall just for fun.  I am excited to hopefully take some newborn portraits of Azriel whenever they feel ready!  That little babe melted my heart--and I'm so proud of Stephanie for doing most of her laboring at home and then having a natural birth!

It's good to be home.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Myrtle Beach Pt. I

Today is our last full day in Myrtle Beach!  I kind of wish we had just one more day--there is so much to do--but I know it is a long journey home with our first stop in Chesapeake.  I don't have my card reader here, so the only photos I have been posting are from Instagram, but those are fun too!

We have had a great time and this little get-away is just what we needed to break up the routine.  Sometimes I think that we need to split town every month and a half, especially since we work from home, so this trip to a new place has been nice.

So far, we have

enjoyed the view from our balcony


gotten icecream

played in the 17 pools and lazy rivers at the hotel

ridden the Skywheel (biggest ferris wheel ever)

played on the shore

and gotten Eliot over his fear of waves

We also visited Chris's grandpa twice, but those pictures are on the "real" camera.  Today we plan to play at the beach alllll day and then maybe go to Medieval Times.  I have never been, but always want to whenever we are near one, like in Florida.  I ask every time, but somehow end up not going, whether it be scheduling or just not feeling like leaving the hotel.  Perhaps tonight will be my night.

While this trip was meant for us to get a break and re-group, my mind has been swirling with questions and thoughts all centering on family.  How to be better at keeping us all connected.  Why we become distant.  How I can help all of my family members even though I can't be in multiple places (or cities. or states) at the same time.  And what I want for our little (and hopefully someday growing) family of three.  I feel the need to be at home in Chesapeake for my grandmother and parents, yet I also feel like we need to be helping with Chris's grandma in Lynchburg.  And then Chris's parents and sister are in northern Virginia.  And then there are our other family members spread throughout North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Maryland, and Minnesota.  We can't be there for everyone all the time, but, you know, we try to be balanced and stay connected. 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Our Second Father's Day

We made it to Chesapeake yesterday around 3:00 pm!  My grandma is staying with my mom while they try to sort things out after her little midnight run down Salem Road following her hallucination....  Because of this, my mom has a house full of hounds.  Two beagles and our two dachshunds.  I feel so bad leaving them with her since she has so much going on, but our dogs are rather well-behaved.  Also, I assured her that she can put them in their kennels if she gets overwhelmed--I know they'd rather be here than boarded at some random kennel, so it is totally fine if they need to be put up for a little while.

Eliot loves going to visit his grandparents' houses because there is so much to explore.  Rather quickly, he and my mom took to playing with tupperware and peek-a-boo in the cabinet.

Today was Father's Day, so Eliot and I made a pretty note for Chris.  Then I made French toast for everyone for breakfast.  While playing outside, Eliot decided that he wanted to go for a swim and did a pretty good job walking right into the pool....  At least he used the steps and asked for help.  Ha.

After Eliot's afternoon nap, we headed over to my sister's house to check up on her.  I know she just had surgery and all, but she seems to be healing up OK.

When we got home, Eliot started cuddling up with my grandma's beagle.  He loves dogs like crazy.  He was constantly following her around and trying to hug her, which was cute and all, but I could tell he needed a nap.  So, naptime it is.  We're at a weird place where sometimes he naps once, sometimes twice, and often not at all.  I guess it all depends on the day and what we do.

Come tomorrow, we'll be getting on the road and heading to South Carolina!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Hurry Up and Rest

It sure takes a lot to hurry up and rest on a vacation, but we've been working on it over the past few days!  Sometimes I feel like I am constantly cleaning, yet the house looks like I've given up on life.  How does that happen?  Oh yeah.  A toddler.

I'm really looking forward to getting out of town....  We have had a busy, crazy couple of weeks involving many of our family members.  My miscarriage.  Chris's grandma's broken hip.  My grandma found in the street by police at 12:30 am--she thought someone broke into her house, so she was banging on neighbors' windows.  And my sister ended up in the ER with severe pain.  It was gallstones, which really sucks, but we were afraid it was something more serious.  She had surgery yesterday and is home!  We've been on an emotional rollercoaster, so we booked a hotel in Myrtle Beach for four nights.  Chris's grandpa lives down there and I've never even met the guy, so we thought it might be nice to head down there.  Honestly, Chris was so helpful during my difficult time a couple of weeks ago that I think that he forgot to deal with his loss himself.  I think it is all just hitting him now over the past few days, so this vacation is really needed.

Our route to vacation is long and twisted.  My parents are kind enough to watch our pets, so first we will have to drive four hours to their house.  We'll relax for a couple of days so we aren't constantly on the road.  Then, we'll drive six hours to South Carolina.  We'll stay for four nights....  Then back six more hours to my parents' house.  And then four more hours to our house.  That is 20 hours of driving with a toddler.  Oh my.  The original plan was for them to visit us this weekend and take the dogs back to cut down on some extra driving, but my grandma is staying with them, so they really can't visit at this point.  It is a lot of driving with a babe (I wouldn't worry otherwise), but it can't compare to the time that we drove for 50 hours in one long weekend for a job interview over spring break in 2009 (for a job I didn't get)....  And we get to go to South of the Border!!

We have had some fun over the past few days too.  I took Eliot to a playgroup again.  He is doing great socializing with other babes and I'm really enjoying meeting new people.  We took Eliot to Riverside Park where he saw the train.  He definitely recognizes the difference between cars and trains now, but his word for train is something like "dris" or "tris".  It's funny.  We're getting better at the pronunciation of it.  "Train" is kind of a hard word to say....

Today, I cleaned out Eliot's drawer of 6-12 month clothes!  I showed Chris afterward and he said, "Don't you think that maybe he can wear this shirt just one more time?"  Probably, but that is how I ended up with an overflowing dresser with a bunch of 9 month shirts that, in short, do not fit at all, hoping that I could maybe see him wear it just one more time.  It does make me really sad to pack away all those clothes that I had memories with.  And sometimes I don't know why I'm keeping them because I don't think we'll have another winter baby--the seasons will probably be all mismatched--and I might not have another boy when we eventually have a second babe anyway.  Oh well.  I'm sure they will overlap at some point.

Do I sound like I'm complaining?  I don't mean to.  Maybe that is why I haven't written in a few days.  A lot of seemingly negative things have been occurring, but I'm not grumbling my way through.  I'm trying to be positive--and I feel positive!--but I think sometimes just writing about it all can make me sound pessimistic.

To do later today:  some very overdue filing!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dear Eliot: 17 Months

Dear Eliot,

We are getting mighty close to a year and a half!  One more month!  It is crazy to think that you are growing closer to two years.  Time speeds by so fast.  I try to grab on to each day because I know I can't slow it all down.

Your speech and communication continues to grow.  You are really great at repeating complex words back to us, like "panda," which you say "--anda," but that is pretty awesome!  So many of your words are animals words, like cat, dog, fish, and bird.  One of my favorite things to do with you is to visit a pet store.  You run from cage to cage, pointing at the animals and calling them by their right names.  It is so cute to see you get excited again and again, as if you didn't expect there to be even more birds as you move down the line of cages.

Eliot boy, you.are.tall.  I never even realize how much of a giant you are until I look at pictures of us together.  You were once my little baby, but now you are a giant boy!  Everyone who meets you for the first time says they thought you were older because you are so tall.

I hope this continues for your benefit because you are getting even better at basketball.  When your Robinson grandparents gave you that basketball goal for Christmas, I surely thought it'd be another year before you could use it, but you've been dunking since you could stand.  We've raised it a notch on you and you keep up!  And you're getting better!  Instead of just dunking the ball in, you've started throwing it up from a distance, which certainly takes more skill.  Sometimes, you stand by the hearth and throw the ball from there.  You walk your little toes up to the edge of the line, like you are making free throws.  We didn't show you this; I really think you picked it up from watching basketball on TV.  And another thing that I love is that you clap when people make baskets on TV.  You're so precious.

This month, you ran your first race!  Your dad ran the Elizabeth River 10k and you ran a little 100 yard dash afterward with his help.  You came in second place (out of three)!  I know you won't remember it, but we thought it'd be fun for the pictures and maybe somehow instill some love for running.  A few days later while wearing your shirt from the race, you slipped into your dad's running shoes and shuffled around the house.  I think it worked.  I hope that you grow to love running with your dad and that you two can share many special runs together.  I have tried to run, but I'm so bad at it; there is hope for you and I know your dad hopes to show you all of his runs.  It doesn't matter how fast you go or how far--he just wants to experience it all with you.

Eliot, summer is my favorite time of year because we can play outside in the water.  I am so happy to share it all with you being more aware this year, and we re-introduced you to natural water.  You love love love the lake, but were unsure of the bay.  OK, you were terrified of the bay, but then you were fine with it once we took you past the waves.
Lately, you picked up a couple of just adorable tricks.  You give Eskimo kisses when we ask for them.  You thought it was so funny that you started giving everything Eskimo kisses (your toy ball, your books...), but it stopped once you gave an Eskimo kiss to one of the dogs.  Wet noses!  Also, you play peek-a-boo with your hands when I start asking, "Where is Eliot?"  In addition to your monkey impression and blowing kisses, you have certainly developed quite a few very cute tricks.
You are becoming such a big boy and doing big kid things.  We took you to your first movie at the theater recently.  I kind of worried that we were nuts, but you really watch movies (especially CGI ones) with great interest, so we figured it was worth a shot.  We went to see Madagascar 3 and you sat.through.the.whole.thing.  You were great!  During the last fifteen minutes, you grew a little restless and wanted to stand or go sit in your dad's lap, but, man, I never thought we could take you to a movie this early.  The funniest part was probably during the previews....  When each preview would end and the screen would go black before the next one began, you would point at the screen as if to ask for the show to come back on.  It was precious.

Eliot, you want to do all of the things that we do.  You mimic us and try to be like us.  Everything from helping me weed to walking the dogs to drinking coffee--you want to grow up fast and experience it all.  You take face wipes out of my diaper bag and wipe the mouths of your stuffed animals.  Then you get angry if we don't let you take part in adult things, like driving.  Don't grow up too fast, boy!  I love having you little!

I love to watch you grow, learn, explore, and become your own individual.  This summer, we have had so much fun going to the creek and watching you throw rocks.

Eliot boy, I love you with everything I have.  I think of you all day, hoping to give you the best and be the best I can be for you.  I am simply mesmerized by you.  I never dreamed I'd have such a handsome, sweet, smart little boy.  I think you are the most amazing [big], little thing.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Rainbows, Haircuts, and Throwing Rocks

Sometimes I feel bad that Chris has to fight so hard to get me out of the house in the evenings.  I can be such a homebody and always want to melt into the couch after dinner.  However, if he can just fight through, we always have so much fun.  The other night, he convinced me to go for a walk even though I was bent on being lazy.

As we made it out of our neighborhood and onto Rivermont, it began to rain a little.  I huffed some comment about how I told him we shouldn't go on a walk because it was going to rain.  However, it didn't rain too much.  And when we turned onto one of our favorite side streets, we saw it:  an amazing double rainbow.  It had been a long, long time since I saw such a clear rainbow.

Eliot really wanted to help walk the dogs at first.  He looks like such a big boy, doesn't he?

 Stopping to feel the rain.

I strive to always recognize beauty in life, even in dark times.  I try to be grateful for all of the little things in life that others might not see.  I try to take pictures of everything and document all of life's beauty.  So, when a giant double rainbow appears in the cloudy skies on a walk I didn't want to go on during an evening that I was feeling particularly down, that surely is something.  Chris and I have been holding tight to one another these days.  Maybe it's silly, but I feel even more in love with him now than ever and I think he might feel the same. 

Yesterday, Eliot got his first professional haircut!  I had cut it myself in the back about a month ago, but it grows so fast.  Plus, I had cut it all to one length since I was afraid to give him layers (and just have regular scissors), so we figured we'd take him in.  The lady looked at me like I was nuts, but no boy of mine will walk around with a baby mullet.


Eliot was such a good boy.  He sat on my lap and I held his face.  He giggled as she brushed his hair to cut it and I was thankful that he has always enjoyed playing with combs.  The lady seemed irritated that he would sometimes turn his head to look at her and said his hair wouldn't be even for that reason.  I think I'll invest in some scissors and just do it myself in the future (until he gets a full head of hair) now that I have watched someone else do it.

Afterward, we headed to Otter Creek so Eliot could do one of his favorite things:  throw rocks in the water.  This time, Chris convinced him to wade out into the middle of the creek.  And then Eliot was so excited for Chris to help him stand on large rocks.  I love those boys....  I have so much fun watching them play together and taking pictures of it all.

When we got home, Eliot was still full of energy (the boy is down to one nap, but still runs around until 9:00 pm!), so Chris took him out back to play some more and grill up vegetarian hot dogs for a late dinner. 

These days are ones I'll want to remember forever.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Recovering: Our Days Lately

We've been trying to take it easy for obvious reasons.  I never knew how long the process of miscarrying lasts....  I just thought it would take a day or something, but that doesn't make sense at all if you think about everything that has to happen.  Each day gets a little better emotionally, especially when I can convince myself that I'm just having my usual cycle, but at the same time I'm trying to really deal with the issue instead of denying it.

I guess it is a confusing experience with so many questions.  I seek biblical answers, Truth, and the Love that I know binds the world, but sometimes there are simply mysteries.  Fortunately, by the grace of God, I'm not the type of person bent on handing out blame, so I'm not angry at anyone--not at myself, God, or any other possible source of blame.

We do have so much to be thankful for, though.

We celebrated our fifth anniversary anyway.  We rested at home and then went to dinner.  Afterward, we took Eliot to Barnes and Noble to play with the train table and pick out a couple of books.  Chris gave me a lovely letter, gerber daisies (just like from my wedding bouquet), and an antique-style sapphire ring.  It is actually a really special ring.  When we talked about getting engaged, I really loved it and the diamond version, but it was too expensive for my library work study undergraduate boyfriend--he didn't decide that; I did.  Plus, it was from a kind of obscure website.  Ha.  So, after we were engaged, I asked if he would some day buy me a sapphire ring for some special anniversary.  And that was this year with it being five years and all.  :)  He was so excited that he gave it to me a few days early right when it came in the mail.  We're both so bad at waiting to give gifts.

I feel bad that Eliot hasn't had too many adventures outside of the house lately, but I taught him to play peek-a-boo with his hands now, which is so cute.  He has been playing peek-a-boo with blankets for months and months--I never thought to show him to do it with his hands.  And know what is even better?  Last night, I taught him to give Eskimo kisses!  And he loves it!  Ah, he melts my heart.

We went out to a park the other day to feed some geese.  I brought lots and lots of Cheerios.  When the geese saw us, they came running.  And I was so excited!  And then so scared!  They weren't excited for Cheerios--they wanted to kill us!  They were just protecting their babies, but I was legit afraid that we were going to get pecked.

So, we're doing OK!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

To Our February Baby: A Letter That Goes Unread

I decided to share this letter after some thought on the issue.  Christopher and I endured a miscarriage recently.  I wasn't very far along, which I am thankful for, but it still hurt emotionally and physically.  I mean, so many people get emotional just from having trouble conceiving, let alone trying for months, discovering a pregnancy, and then losing the baby shortly after.  I thought I'd feel better the next day, but the physical pain and emotional heartache were still there.  And worse.  I guess on the second day, I kind of realized that we really had lost the baby.  When you discover that you're pregnant, all you can think about for days is that baby.  When I lost the baby, that absence was all I could think about.  People don't talk about miscarriages that much, and I understand why.  I don't want to talk about it either.  I get through difficult times in writing, not speaking.

However, sometimes it seems that people think these things should be kept secret or gotten over quickly--and that isn't always healthy for a person emotionally.  I am still going through the physical healing process and feel afraid to try again.  In all my internet searching, I have found so many women eager to finish up healing quickly and start trying again.  Like buying a puppy after your dog died.  I'm sure I'll change my mind, but I feel the complete opposite.  I can't even think about trying again (for now).  To go from this sadness to suddenly happy followed quickly by worry and fear?  I couldn't handle that right now.  I suppose that is for the best because we are going to try to be safe and wait a few months before trying again.

Still, I have come away from this experience thankful for both my son and my eternally supportive, empathetic, and compassionate husband.  So, for the sake of honesty and in case someone out there needs someone they can relate to, here it is.

June 3, 2012


When your dad and I found out about you, we were so happy, filled with pride, and excited.  We had been praying for you for months.  All that night, we kept looking at each other and your brother and saying it again and again.  You were really there!  We were really becoming a family of four!  We couldn't wait to start guessing if you were a girl or a boy and picking out names and thinking of your due date--probably mid-February.  Just like with Eliot, I began writing letters to you in a special journal that I had bought just for you.  I order a "big brother" shirt for Eliot to wear when we would announce you to the world.  Our five year wedding anniversary was coming up and I kept thinking about how it was going to be our best anniversary celebration ever.

A few days later, I was laying in bed with your brother as he napped.  I was so, so, so tired that day.  I told your dad that it felt like I had taken a Benadryl, but I hadn't.  After about 45 minutes of resting, I starting looking up baby things on the internet.  I read up on what you were probably doing and how you were developing at four and a half weeks.  I thought about names more too.  That's when I started to feel the cramps.  I wasn't worried.  Cramps can be normal and I figured it might be a good sign.

Then later, I felt the blood.  Not normal blood.  Bad blood.  I told your dad.  He got that look of panic and just said, "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry."  I called the doctor right away.  The receptionist and nurse sounded worried.  They told me to come in for a blood test.  I went upstairs to get something.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  What was I looking for?  I didn't need anything.  Down again I went.  Your dad held me and said we'd be OK, that he loved me, that no matter what, we'd be OK, and that I was beautiful and brave.  I cried.  I grabbed the keys.  He offered to come, but I said no, to stay home and feed Eliot lunch.  I walked out the door in a tee-shirt, running shorts, flip flops, unbrushed hair, and glasses.  I never leave the house this way, but I didn't care.  All of my heart was set on you.

On the drive to the doctor, I tried not to cry.  I did this breathing exercise that my sister taught me in high school when our grandfather died.  She said it was supposed to keep your mind off of things to help keep you from crying, but I always just end up thinking about my grandfather's death and funeral instead.

I checked in with the front desk and went to the lab at 1:40 pm.  They called my name.  They asked if I was still cramping and bleeding.  Yes.  They asked if I was on birth control.  No...  What kind of stupid question is that?  They took my blood and told me to leave.  They said I could call back at 4:45 pm.  I left angry. I was angry for you.  No one told me any sort of plan.  I wasn't asking anyone to care.  I wasn't asking anyone to even be nice to me.  I don't know the general protocol for possible miscarriages.  I just wanted to know what they were going to do or what the test would tell us or what it all could mean.  They could have at least given me a pamphlet or print-out of some kind.  I shouldn't have to Google my way through a sensitive situation with the possible loss of my baby.

I called your dad on the way home.  It was easier to be angry at the doctor's office than be sad with the reality of losing you.  I got to the house and saw Eliot playing with his magnadoodle when I opened the door.  I held him close and your dad held me.  We would bounce between raving about how we should have been told at least some information to then trying not to cry to being thankful for your brother.

I called the lab at 4:30 pm.  No results yet.  I called at 4:51 pm.  I left a message.  I called again at 4:53 pm.  Still no results.  I'd have to wait until Monday.   Now we'd have to wait all weekend not knowing what was going on.

Your dad took me for a drive to get me out of the house.  When we got home, we took some snacks to bed and watched Bolt with Eliot until it was time for him to go to sleep.  I kept bleeding.  I kept cramping.  I know I should remain hopeful, but all signs pointed to losing you.  And I lost hope. I continued to bleed for days.  There was no point in calling the doctor for the test results--it didn't even matter anymore.

I don't understand and I have so many questions.  Doctors can't say when life begins, but I believe it begins very early.  When I saw your brother on the ultrasound screen at 10 weeks, there was no doubt in my mind that he was indeed very, very alive.  I believe he had life in him long before that ultrasound.  I don't know how far we were or how much you had developed, but I believe you were there, alive, growing, and real.  I don't know if maybe some day, somehow we will meet in Heaven and I will know you right away. 

Sometimes I worry that I am being punished.  I never took you for granted.  Not for one second.  However, I was less worried about losing you than I was with your brother.  Am I being humbled?  Am I being corrected for not being afraid?  I'm sure this is all the wrong approach, but I am sorry if I did something wrong.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to carry you.  I don't know why I wasn't.  I always thought that the chances of a miscarriage are much slimmer after one successful pregnancy.  If anything, I am more healthy than I was with your brother.  I'm trying not to blame myself somehow, but either way, I'm sorry I couldn't do what I was supposed to.  But, know this:  from the second we learned about you, we loved you and we will never forget those days filled with hope and happiness.

Five Years.

Our fifth wedding anniversary portraits were taken by Anne Ryan!

When Christopher and I got married, we were kids.  I was 20.  He was 21.  We had just graduated with our Bachelor of Art degrees in English less than three weeks earlier.  We were a little bit naive about how the world worked, but that was probably because the world was changing.
It was 2007.  Everyone always had said that a college education was like a ticket into a good career.  Maybe not perfect right away, but you'd get there.  We had attended a number of job fairs.  We applied to countless jobs.  We also applied to graduate school "just in case".  At my wedding, a relative asked what we were going to do and where we were going to live.  At that point, we were waiting for all of the right doors to open.

Little did I realize that all doors would close but one.  The right one.  The door that would require more work and less pay than any of the other options.  However, this option would offer the most benefits in the long run.  After months of searching, we packed up everything in our apartment in Farmville and moved to Lynchburg.  There, we studied for our Master of Arts in English while working as graduate assistants.  We read a lot.  We wrote a lot.  We learned what it meant to teach.  We struggled and felt like we weren't getting anywhere.  We learned how to support one another.  We learned how to survive on little sleep while still thinking critically and writing articulately.  We were stressed, but we were also happy, fulfilled, and content without any money to spare on "fun" things.  Instead, we found beauty in sharing literature, writing, helping students, taking pictures, and climbing mountains.

Five years after we got married (and three years after graduating from grad school), here we are.  We have jobs in our field that we love.  We have a cute home that we take pride in.  We are about year from finishing our doctorates.  And the biggest blessing of all:  a beautiful baby boy.  It is all by the grace of God, but we have come a long way and accomplished a lot in these five years of marriage--even more so in the eight years we have been together if you want to look at that.  We spend a lot more time together than most couples since we have always worked together, taken the same classes, and now we work from home together.  But, get this:  we don't even get annoyed with each other like most people would.  We're a team and we help each other.

Our life together has not always been easy.  In the darkness, we hold hands.  Honestly, we are in the midst of a very difficult time right now, but we laugh and mourn together.  Even though we both are working through some heartache, Christopher puts me first and tries to take care of me before thinking of himself.  I truly believe that he is the most compassionate person I have ever met.  He is always eager to listen to anything that is on my heart.  I am so blessed to have such a caring and sensitive husband.
I wonder where we will be in five more years.  Who knows.  As long as we are working together, though, I know it will be the best place.