And He Fell Out of the Crib

We have been happily co-sleeping with Eliot since he was born (which I have written about before) since he would wake up to breastfeed every hour and a half through six months.  People have been suggesting since the beginning that we just needed to let him cry it out in his crib, but it didn't seem right at the time.  While mildly inconvenient at times, I have loved co-sleeping with Eliot.  And as long as the three of us were resting well and happy, it wasn't really a problem, right?  Those mornings when I wake up to my sleeping husband and son are some of the sweetest memories I have with Eliot.

Eliot's napping has been a little difficult lately.  He is probably transitioning to one nap (opposed to two), but it is frustrating when he looks exhausted with all the right signs (his usual nap time, rubbing his eyes, yawning, laying on the ground cuddled up with a pillow) but he won't sleeeep.  So, yesterday afternoon, we put him in his crib and let him cry for thirty minutes.  It didn't go over well.

Last night, I thought we'd give it another try.  I gave him his night-time milk in his crib, took the bottle when he was finished, gave him a paci, and shut the door.  After five minutes of screaming, he heard the thump.  And then thump-thump-thump.  He fell out of the crib.  We scooped him up laughing and he continued to scream until we were both holding him at the same time.

I have tried getting him used to his crib by seeing it as a "safe" place.  I play with him in it.  He pets the cat in it.

I'm probably doing this wrong because I'm not entirely committed to letting him cry it out.  And it is something I should do after thinking all of the details through, not just out of frustration like I did for his afternoon nap.

Here's the thing with sleep.  It's not black and white.  We don't all sleep the same way.  When I was young, I hated to sleep alone.  I used to share a bed with my sister for a long time.  I remember her bedtime being extended to 8:30 pm and being mortified.  It wasn't that I wanted to stay up longer, but I didn't want to go to bed alone.  When I grew older and slept in my own bed, I would lay awake at night, my eyes darting around.  Even when I came home from college on weekends, I'd feel uncomfortable in my bed at home, like someone was staring at me.  My parents' house is creep-y.

Whether or not Eliot's fear (or frustration or dislike or whatever you want to call it) of being alone in his crib is founded, it is real to him.  I understand how he feels.  And while Eliot should confront his fears and be independent, I don't want him to feel hopeless, helpless, and alone. When children feel supported, they are more confident to step out on their own.

So, I'm not saying cry it out is inherently wrong.  I'm not even saying that we won't try it with Eliot at some point.  Eliot will sleep in his bed when he is ready.  Now just isn't that time.