Work, Play, and Writing a Dissertation

I sure was wrong about the weather (thankfully!).  It hasn't been all rain and gloom like I thought.  Instead, we've had nice, warm days with a little bit of rain here and there.  We've had picnics at the park, played in the backyard, and watched Chris get carried away with yard work in the name of palm trees (more on that later...).

I've gotten a lot of work done in the process too.  I'm at a good place with balancing family time with a toddler and grading.  Also, I hit a new level of progress with my dissertation.  I try not to write about school much on here, but I'll just say that I've never felt so close to this next step.  There are still many, many steps to follow, but I have struggled over the past year to write.  I have had to re-write my proposal about three times due to circumstances I can't control.  Throughout the process, my committee has been understanding and supportive.  It is still frustrating and hard to get going.  Sometimes it takes me an hour to get in a zone and figure out where I even left off with all of my research.  If I work while Eliot is napping, well, he is about to wake up after that hour (and I realistically need that nap time to grade).  And I cannot do that kind of writing while watching him.  Fortunately, my mom watches Eliot once a week for a few hours, but I often need that time to grade instead of writing.  Sometimes I lay awake at night just thinking of that dissertation and worrying about it and beating myself up about how I should be done by now.  However, I try to keep in mind that it is a big project, I can't control everything with it, I have a toddler and another baby on the way, and work full-time from home.  That's a lot to keep up with.  So, I'm hoping to finish up the proposal (!!) this weekend and then move on to the proposal defense (to then be followed by getting Institutional Review Board approval, conducting the research, analyzing the data, writing my conclusion, and defending the dissertation itself).

It is easy to get discouraged when I think of all the things I need to do and all of the commitments that I need to balance.  I worry about the stupidest things, like what the neighbors think of our front yard since we haven't mulched (if only they knew what we were doing out back...), and spread myself too thin over details that don't matter, like trying to keep the floors spotless--when you have a really dirty toddler getting multiple baths a day, the floor is going to have dirt on it.  However, this week, I am choosing to feel good about what I have accomplished and hoping for another productive week.