Transition Away from Co-sleeping: Looking for New Tools

I have written before about why we decided to co-sleep, our sleep battles in attempts to transition Eliot out of our bed, and our most recent transition away from co-sleeping. 

Our sleep transition with Eliot has been taking longer than I had hoped.  It has been three months.  Here are our general accomplishments:
-Eliot goes to bed around 9:30 pm.  He doesn't fight it or cry.  He even asks to go to bed sometimes.
-I lay with Eliot to get him to sleep.  I wait until he is in deep sleep, but that sometimes means I end up falling asleep myself and don't get in my own bed until after midnight.
-Eliot rouses once an hour or so.  He has done this since birth.  If he is in bed with us, he sees I'm there, cuddles up close, and goes back to sleep.  If he is in his bed, he sits up and calls for us.  The first time, I try telling to go back to sleep.  Sometimes this is enough, but generally I have to get up, lay him back down, and tuck him in.  He goes right back to sleep, though, and I don't have to lay with him.
-By the second time he gets up, I usually haven't even fallen back to sleep yet.  I feel tired and frustrated.  I tell him to go back to sleep.  This second time is when I allow him in our bed, often about 4:00 am.  Sometimes he crawls in our bed himself; other times Daddy goes to rescue him.

These are in areas in which we need to improve:
-I wish I didn't have to lay with him until he is in deep sleep.  I wish I could just lay with him for about 20 minutes as he is in light sleep.  I've tried leaving him, but it never lasts.  He gets up and cries.  I've left the room too, but he ends up crying at the door.  I don't want to get in a cry-it-out debate, but I do not feel comfortable leaving him alone in our room at night crying at the door.  Sleeping alone in our room?  Yes.  Playing during the day with lights on in our room?  Yes.  But crying in the dark alone?  No.  I don't know what he might get into.  Plus, it doesn't seem to accomplish anything for us at this point.
-Eliot needs to learn to get himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  He has the same rhythm during naptime--he wakes up after about an hour, but I always sit with him during his naps (doing work on the computer, so it isn't wasted time at all), so he goes back to sleep.
-I don't mind him getting in our bed in the early morning.  In fact, I prefer it.  It would be nice, though, if it could be more consistently around 4:00 am.
-Eventually, he needs to be moved into his own room.  Whether that is before Jack comes, I don't know.  It'd be nice, but I'm not pushing it.

Since I've been at this for three months without breaking beyond this progress, I need to try different approaches.  I can keep trying to leave him during light sleep to see if he just "gets it," but that is incredibly exhausting and frustrating.

As I search for answers, I came across the idea of a weighted blanket.  These blankets provide the security and feel of being held.  Now, Eliot HATED being swaddled as a babe; however, he needs the assurance of someone holding him in order to sleep.  Maybe the weighted blanket can help with that.

Maybe I'm not a crazy, horrible parent who has allowed her son to become dependent on others to sleep, but instead he has a physical need to address instead of a behavioral issue.  It seems that many children have success with the weighted blanket because it helps release serotonin to aid sleep.  Maybe Eliot needs extra serotonin and my embrace at night is what helps him get that.  I hope that the weighted blanket can help him.

Of course, there is also melatonin, which I am cautious about.  I hear that it is great and helpful for short-term, but you can build a tolerance.  I am always leery of long-term use of something like that.  Instead of purchasing melatonin itself, perhaps I could try having Eliot eat a banana or drink a banana smoothie before bed.

So, that's where we stand at this point.  We've done well, but I think we need to try some new things to get us to the next step.  I've approached his sleep transition as a Behaviorist with classical conditioning (big boy bed = sleep, safe, and comfort) and operant conditioning (getting new sheets, Cars pillow, and stuffed toys; eventually, I'd like to get him a car bed as a reward).  Now it is time to see if hopefully some Biological approaches with the weighted blanket and melatonin from a banana might help.