Shifting Gears: Getting Ready for Boy #2 Instead of a Girl

When we had our ultrasound and I saw that it was a boy, my immediate thought was, "It's a boy!  It's not a girl."

I don't mean to sound disappointed--I'm not.  I told Chris that I was thinking like a Structuralist.  I was creating a definition with binaries.  The opposite defines the other.  Black aids the definition of white.  Nothing defines everything.  Cold defines hot.  Post-structuralists would go on to say that truth is inaccessible through binaries because while there is black and white, there is also grey.

I miss literary theory....

Moving on...

Ultrasounds are great for daddies because they get to see the reality of the baby.  Chris has been excited about our baby, of course, but our 12-week ultrasound made it more real since he hasn't felt the morning sickness or strange, violent hunger.  A few weeks later when I felt flutters, Chris couldn't feel that reality, just hear reports of it.  But, when he saw the 18-week ultrasound and learned that he'd be having a son, I think it helped him see the baby even more as an individual--we can say "he" instead of "it".  And now we refer to Baby by his name (which I will reveal later when we have a middle name nailed down).

For me, I've been able to feel the changes in my body all along as an indication of the changes that will come to our family, but what helps me to comprehend our new baby boy's gender is getting ready.  Or nesting.  Or organizing.  Whatever you want to call it, preparing our home, assembling baby gear, and starting a registry (even though we need very little) is how I sit back and say, "Wow.  Our baby BOY will be here in the summer."

 
Last weekend, I steam cleaned our boy's carpets.  It still smells a little when the sun is shining through the windows (I guess I didn't use enough soap?), so I'm going to try the baking soda trick.  This weekend, I went through Eliot's old clothes to find that we have about four newborn short-sleeved onesies (that Eliot grew out of in a week...) and two 0-3 month short-sleeved onesies.  The rest are sleepers since Eliot was born in the winter.  Chris said I could order a few summer outfits and then I'll pick up a couple packs of onesies, and we should be set.  I know this seems early, and Chris prefers to wait to buy things when we still have five months left, but it really helps me "get it".  And I'm glad Chris has just shrugged and been like, "sure," when I point out the summer-y rompers that I've picked out for our boy despite his nature to wait wait wait and be sure that is what we want and the right deal.  By the way, I'm resisting the urge to make a day trip to Williamsburg for the Carter's outlet.  Maybe in the spring.  I mean, Chris has been saying he wanted to go to Williamsburg since the fall. And the good news is that Babe should be OK for fall and the following spring since he will just wear Eliot's spring clothes in the fall and then Eliot's fall clothes in the spring (if that makes sense).  Opposite seasons line up about half-way if you aren't too picky about seasonal colors.

When Chris and I talked of having Eliot, I always imagined we'd have a boy and we did.  When we talked of a second, I imagined we'd have another boy--I always saw us with two boys--but figured it might have been because I didn't know what it was like to have a girl.  Then when I got pregnant with our second (well, third if you count our miscarriage), I tried to prepare myself for the possibility of having a girl and everyone said girl and my symptoms said girl and my mind thought girl so much that I thought it had to be.  I think maybe I wanted to know which this baby was so badly that I clung to it.  So when I saw a boy inside of me, I was surprised and thrilled.  (As a side note, I accidentally said "he" during our 12-week ultrasound and felt guilty for WEEKS since we didn't know.  I think I'm extra sensitive to this whole not offending when it comes to gender).  Anyway, after saying, "I can't stop puking so it's gotta be a girl!" for months, it took a moment to shift gears.  And I gotta say, I think Eliot and his brother will have so much fun together.  And I'm looking forward to not arguing over whether we'll watch Cars or a princess movie--instead it'll probably be arguing about Cars or Thomas, but at least they're more similar.