Our House is Off the Market--We're Staying in Lynchburg!

We decided to take the house off of the market.  We'll stay here in Lynchburg for at least another year.  Maybe three.

I suppose I have some explaining to do.  Here is the short explanation if you don't want to read the whole story of how we came to be where we are.  Simply put, the houses in Chesapeake that we were originally interested all were short sales.  We didn't know this at first, so our budget kept growing and growing out of control.  Then our realtor here in Lynchburg kept suggesting that we drop the price about every two weeks.  Suddenly, we would be walking away with less money and needing to spend more on a new house.  Eventually, something has to give.  Since we don't have to move and quite honestly really like Lynchburg, we decided to stay here for at least another year.  In a year's time, we can save up more money and will hopefully be done with our dissertations, which will mean that we won't have to pay tuition any more (which we have been paying in cash).  Or maybe we'll stay for three years to really get ahead.

So, here is the whole, long story.

This whole moving idea started last August.  At that point, Chris and I were both officially working from home, so we can work from anywhere as long as we have an internet connection.  Prices in Chesapeake (where I grew up and Chris went to high school) were finally looking realistically low.  I love it here in Lynchburg, but Chris's heart was missing the ocean, home, and friends.  My parents had toyed with the idea of moving to Lynchburg and so did Chris's, but the logistics never worked out.  Here in Lynchburg, we don't go on "dates" or have someone to watch Eliot aside from Chris's sister when she is here for college, but we've only asked her to watch him a few times for work-related things (like double meetings) when it couldn't be avoided.  I know she'd gladly watch Eliot if we asked, but the reality is that she is in college and we need to let her study and do her college-y things.  In moving to Chesapeake, we were hoping for a support network and a feeling of community.  We knew we'd need to wait until the following spring (this spring) to sell, so we worked on final projects and decided to give it a go.

As I've said so many times, I'd be happy to stay in Lynchburg.  I love our house.  I love the mountains.  To me, spring and fall in Lynchburg are far better than anywhere else.  Summer is great too, but I can't deny that the beach might be preferred.  And winter sucks everywhere.  Houses in Chesapeake are a good $100,000 more than Lynchburg, which made me feel uneasy.  Still, since Chris wanted to move so badly and it seemed like we would make a bit off of our house, I said we should give it a try.  I can't deny that the thought of "home" was very appealing and comforting after being away for seven years.  We went on a "spending freeze," and only bought groceries, paid bills, decided that we would only eat out once a week at the most (and rarely even ate out that much), and limited "fun" purchases to very small and very occasional things for Eliot. 

During this process, everyone kept saying they loved the charm of the house, but there was always something that turned people away.  We did get an offer, but it was a lease-to-own deal that we didn't quite feel comfortable with.  As our realtor suggested that we drop the price a couple of times and the houses in Chesapeake we were looking at were more than $50,000 more than our original budget, I had a bad feeling.

We had the house up for a month until we felt like we hit a breaking point.  I just didn't feel good about how little money we were going to walk away with and how far we were going to have to stretch it.  We could make it work and just be tight for a few years, but that didn't seem like the wisest decision.  I thought of all the things that Dave Ramsey would say--he'd tell us that we were throwing away a good thing and great financial situation where we could really get somewhere.  I want to be a good steward with my money and use it wisely so that I can provide for my son, give freely, and bless others.

I told Chris that I felt like I was holding my hand over a candle flame whenever we talked about moving.  I was antsy, anxious, and felt a gnawing.  It didn't seem right.  I didn't want to make a bad decision.  Chris and I started feeling divided; we were having disagreements.  Chris and I rarely disagree on much significant, so when we are divided, something isn't right.  He was feeling the excitement of a new house in a new city and dreaming of the places we sat when we first fell in love.  I could feel those positive things too in regards to moving, and I tried to just go with it.  Not to mention all of those unknown questions in regards to the market.  What will the interest rates be in a year?  What if they are worse since they are so good now?  What if the houses in Chesapeake are even more outrageous in a year?  It would be tight, but we could make it work.  We wrote a budget.  We developed financial plans and determined ways to pay for our extra expenses, like our doctorate tuition.  However, I couldn't shake that nagging feeling.

The other day (a couple of days after I expressed my concern), Chris just kind of came to this realization that it was too much on one side and too little on the other.  We were giving too much on the sale of our house and then too much was being demanded of us for a new one.  It's like we were on a rope bridge, losing rope on both sides.  We could make it work, but he said it simply didn't make sense anymore; we had come so far from our reasonable plan that we started out with.  And we don't have to move!  We thought about it for a few days and then officially took the house down yesterday.

I feel relieved and thankful.  Chris and I work together through our challenges instead of against one another.  When we weren't agreeing, we knew we both needed to communicate more clearly and search for a solution together.  And after letting the thoughts settle, we came to a conclusion that we both felt comfortable with.

Christopher and I both feel so much peace with this decision.  While it is a little embarrassing to "change our minds," I know it was absolutely the best decision we could make.  I'm a planner; I like to know where I'm going to be and what is going to happen.  We had made up our minds that we would be in Chesapeake in a few months.  Now that has changed.  Usually, it is hard for me to deal with a big, dramatic shift like this, but we're embracing it and making plans. 

Moving into a new house can be an exciting time.  It is a decision charged with emotion.  It is so easy to fall in love with a house.  However, I have always tried to be cautious, realistic, and leery of stretching ourselves too thin.

Over the next few years, we will be financially comfortable enough to enjoy life, maybe take a vacation, continue to pay our tuition in cash, and work on student loans.  We have a beautiful home that we take pride in.  We live in a safe, unique area with good schools.  I miss my family at times, but four hours isn't that bad for now.  Just a week ago, I wrote this long entry (and didn't publish it) about how I'd miss our autumns in the mountains and our fall traditions, like apple-picking at Johnson's Farm, watching the leaves change from the top of Cold Mountain, picking out pumpkins at Morris Orchard, and Thanksgiving.  I am convinced that Lynchburg is one of the most amazing places in the fall.  And maybe we'll move to Chesapeake by the time Eliot starts school.  Or maybe we'll move to some island with a palm tree forest that Chris has been dreaming of.