Growing Palms and Babies

My mind and time has been consumed with the growing of two things:  our gardens and our baby boy.

Every day, there is work to be done in the yard.  Eliot splashes on the pool steps, plays in his sandbox, and throws everything (and I mean everything) he can get his hands on into the pool while I garden close by and Chris continually works on his excavation projects to prepare for more planting.  I push myself further than I should physically and drink too little water for a pregnant lady, resulting in pains later.  Chris tells me to go inside to give my body and fair skin a break.

We've been working hard to transform our backyard for a more, well, tropical feel.  The house came landscaped with awesome flowerbeds and brickwork, but everything was so overgrown that we had a lot of work on our hands.  A tropical backyard has been Chris's dream, and he is doing an amazing job.  I have been eager to take photos of our final product, but there is always so much more to accomplish that will make the yard look even better and more presentable.

Yesterday's work

Four of our six palms.

By the way, that dark area in the pool is an ore that Eliot threw in the pool.  Like I said, Eliot throws everything in that he can find.

Today's palm adventure on the other side of the pool:  a pindo palm.  Chris has been clearing that flower bed for over a week--so many bushes, roots, and four holly trees came down.  Eventually, we'll add two more large palms and another pindo to the fence line, but this is it for this year.  We might plant an agave plant or some flowers too.

We have one more palm to plant--just one more.  I think our backyard work will be finished in the next week.  I mean, we could do more, but we gotta call it quits eventually.  Eliot loves it, though.  He gets to play by the pool and dig holes every day.  That kid gets so many baths and showers.

All of the yard projects help keep my mind off of the baby growing.  I mean, it's not that I don't want to think of him, but I know I could drive myself crazy with the waiting and the growing and the speculating.  What will he look like?  When will he come?  What will labor and delivery be like this time?  How will we transition?  Wait, is my belly button seriously gone now?  I'm at 33 weeks, so I definitely have some time left to ponder the coming of our babe.  For now, I'm trying to keep busy.

Dear Eliot: Two Years, Four Months

Dear Eliot,

Right now, you are sitting next to me playing games on my phone.  You've always been so good at doing puzzles on the iPhone and iPad, and the games you play continue to grow more sophisticated.  You look like a little teenager with your electronics and games.

Lately, you haven't been demanding to watch Cars as much, which is a relief.  Now you always ask to watch UmiZoomi or Octonauts, so I have a few episodes recorded to meet your requests.  When tv characters ask you questions or tell you to say something, you shout enthusiastically at the tv.  I mean, I like Cars fine, but we had watched it almost daily for over a year.

With the weather warming up, we spend the majority of our days outside in the backyard.  You splash on the steps of the pool and throw toys (and everything else) in the pool.  Fortunately, at this point, you don't want to go in by yourself since it is kind of cold, so I can sit by the pool and watch you or keep an eye on you while doing yard work.  You have fallen in the pool once....  You were playing on the steps when you slipped.  I was right next to you and grabbed you right away.  You didn't cry or anything, just said it was scary and cuddled up for a little while.  Then you were right back playing on the steps.

We've had a couple of "big boy" adjustments as of late.  We lost all of your pacis, so instead of buying new ones, we decided to try taking them away for good.  I had let you keep the paci for bed and naps since you grind your teeth in your sleep.  And sometimes I let you have it when you got really upset.  I figured it was time, though, to let you be a big boy.  You went to sleep fine without it!  You don't really ask for it during the day either.  In the past five nights that you haven't had your paci, you have woken up screaming inconsolably three times, which is hard, but I think you'll work through it.  Also, you suddenly decided that you no longer nap.  I had you nap before because you'd get so very tired in the late afternoon; however, it was getting more and more difficult to get you to nap.  Since you stopped napping, you've slept better at night.  You still stay up late (9:30 pm or 10:00 pm) and wake up at the same time (between 7:30 am and 8:30 am, sometimes 9:00 am), but you are getting more solid sleep, I think.  And you don't seem to need a nap at all, just a little "rest time" when we lay down and cuddle for about 45 minutes.

Your speech is growing more clear and complex.  You speak in full sentences all the time and say the funniest things.  The other day, you went to the zoo with your dad.  When you got home, you came running to find me and told me all the animals you saw.  You said, "And a choo choo!  And I sat in a chair!"  This meant that you rode the train at the zoo.  I love how you say things--it's so cute.  You used to say "all right" instead of "yes" for a while, which was so funny because you'd be freaking out for juice, and I'd ask, "Do you want some juice?"  You'd reply "all right" in this Australian accent, like it was my idea.  That lasted for a few weeks, and now you say "yap" for "yes".  That is kind of silly too, but then I stepped back noticed that I say "yep" a lot.  Maybe that is weird of me.

Your speech also causes some frustrating instances as well.  You are really bossy at times.  I don't think that you quite understand this whole parent-child dynamic.  If you want to do something that you know I don't want you to, you tell me to "sit down" or tell me "bye-bye" while waving.  However, I am also quite proud of your manners.  You say please, thank you, bless you, and no thank you.  Even if you are in tears over me telling you that we have to go inside, you still usually say "no thank you" over and over instead of stomping around and screaming "no".

I think you are growing socially rather well.  You get so excited to see friends (both adults and kids) that you completely flip out and run in circles.  You love playing with other kids and running around.  I'm glad to see you engaging with others.  We're working on the whole sharing thing.  You do pretty well sharing other kids' toys, but sharing your toys confuses you.

In about six and a half weeks, your baby brother Jack will be here.  Sometimes I worry about the adjustment time; other times, I'm not overly concerned.  You are still so sweet to Jack, kissing, hugging, asking about, and poking my belly.

I had my third Mother's Day this year, and I felt so thankful for you, the one who made me a mom for the first time.  Thanks, Eliot, for loving me.

On Mother's Day

Growing up, I never realized how hard I must have been on my parents, and probably my mom in particular.  I thought I was an easy kid, and I know she made a big effort to give me great memories, have fun, get on the floor and play with me, and teach me.  I know I made it more difficult for her than it had to be.  I was unbelievably stubborn.  Some would say I still am, but I think those people just aren't considering how stubborn I used to be.  Dinner was a constant battle.  If I didn't eat my cheeseburger (yes, a kid denying a cheeseburger), I'd have to sit at the table until I finished it.  Many nights, I would sit alone at the table until 8:00 pm when my parents finally caved and let me go get ready for bed.  I won.  Mwahaha!  Or so I thought.  Sorry, Mom.

And I guess the thing is now that I am trying so hard every day to be my best for Eliot, I am coming to understand how sometimes a parent can get worn down.  And even if I thought I was a laid back, easy-going, self-disciplining kid, I know I gave my parents a hard time of it when I didn't need to.  Eliot was an easy baby; maybe he is now a difficult toddler.  Or maybe he is a normal toddler.  I don't know.  I can't compare because everyone's kid is different when taken out of their element--and Eliot is so extra rambunctious around other people.  However, I think this time in general is just a bit challenging.

For Mother's Day, we did some relaxing at home.  Chris got me flowers, a card, and breakfast.  We did some cleaning and laundry.  Then we sat out by the pool, but I couldn't keep myself from getting up and vacuuming the pool out.  Messes make me crazy until I take care of them.  I actually really enjoy cleaning--it's like the relief of scratching a horrible itch. 

Then we went to my parents' house for dinner with them, my sister and her family, and my grandma.  My grandma is growing more and more distant in her gaze, like a shadow, which is hard and confusing to watch, but I'm just hanging on to the hope that we're giving her everything we can:  good care at a great facility, seeing family frequently, and lots of cookies, Cracker Jacks, and Cokes.  The lady has gone nuts over cookies, Cracker Jacks, and Cokes lately, which I'm not saying is a good thing at all, but at her stage, it isn't all that bad either if that is what she really wants.  At the end of our visit, Eliot got extra hyper and energetic.  I knew he was tired.  By the time we got home, he was begging me to play dump trucks with him, but I had him lay on the couch with me, just for a moment.  And in that moment, he fell asleep, which really never happens.  Chris and I were able to talk some and watch tv before going to bed, a Mother's Day present from our sweet, sleepy Eliot.

Lately, our Eliot has been doing some big boy things.  He no longer naps.  We took his paci away four days ago--actually, we lost them all and figured it'd be a good time to try to put an end to it.  I hope we can stick with it.  With these two changes coming in one week, I felt like our baby boy was much more boy than baby--and he is.  And I felt a little sad.  However, since we've taken the paci away, he has woken in the middle of the night for two nights in a row screaming inconsolably for about 45 minutes.  Nothing seems to help.  I suppose it is a night terror or maybe he is just used to having the comfort of the paci (the latter is more likely), and all I can do is be there with him and wait for him to come out of it.  While I feel horrible that he is so upset and I hate seeing him cry, I was reminded that he is growing up for sure, but he still needs me.  He won't always think that he needs me, but right now, he does.  So even if I grow weary sometimes trying to give my all to my son all day, every day, it's what I hope for each day as a mother--to have the opportunity and privilege to wake up, dedicate my day to offering to build him into a happy, caring, loving, intelligent person and to hope that my offering is received.  I am thankful that my mom tried so hard each day, even when it didn't seem like she was getting through to me or making a difference, because she really did shape me into the person I grew into.  I hope that I make her proud.  I hope that she looks at me and thinks she did a good job.

Work, Play, and Writing a Dissertation

I sure was wrong about the weather (thankfully!).  It hasn't been all rain and gloom like I thought.  Instead, we've had nice, warm days with a little bit of rain here and there.  We've had picnics at the park, played in the backyard, and watched Chris get carried away with yard work in the name of palm trees (more on that later...).

I've gotten a lot of work done in the process too.  I'm at a good place with balancing family time with a toddler and grading.  Also, I hit a new level of progress with my dissertation.  I try not to write about school much on here, but I'll just say that I've never felt so close to this next step.  There are still many, many steps to follow, but I have struggled over the past year to write.  I have had to re-write my proposal about three times due to circumstances I can't control.  Throughout the process, my committee has been understanding and supportive.  It is still frustrating and hard to get going.  Sometimes it takes me an hour to get in a zone and figure out where I even left off with all of my research.  If I work while Eliot is napping, well, he is about to wake up after that hour (and I realistically need that nap time to grade).  And I cannot do that kind of writing while watching him.  Fortunately, my mom watches Eliot once a week for a few hours, but I often need that time to grade instead of writing.  Sometimes I lay awake at night just thinking of that dissertation and worrying about it and beating myself up about how I should be done by now.  However, I try to keep in mind that it is a big project, I can't control everything with it, I have a toddler and another baby on the way, and work full-time from home.  That's a lot to keep up with.  So, I'm hoping to finish up the proposal (!!) this weekend and then move on to the proposal defense (to then be followed by getting Institutional Review Board approval, conducting the research, analyzing the data, writing my conclusion, and defending the dissertation itself).

It is easy to get discouraged when I think of all the things I need to do and all of the commitments that I need to balance.  I worry about the stupidest things, like what the neighbors think of our front yard since we haven't mulched (if only they knew what we were doing out back...), and spread myself too thin over details that don't matter, like trying to keep the floors spotless--when you have a really dirty toddler getting multiple baths a day, the floor is going to have dirt on it.  However, this week, I am choosing to feel good about what I have accomplished and hoping for another productive week.

Pregnancy Update: 32 Weeks

Eight, or maybe seven, weeks remaining.  Chris said the other day that it seems like I have been pregnant for a year, which makes sense since we have gone through a lot spanning longer than a year ago.

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with worry after my 31-week appointment since I hadn't been thinking about how I need to keep an eye out for losing fluid.  I knew I would eventually, but I was "putting it off" in some ways.  Honestly, I have about six weeks before I get to the point that I started losing fluid with Eliot, so I don't need to be too concerned with that all right now, but it was a reminder that this time will come.  And I need to be mindful and careful.  I'm just thankful that my doctors are sensitive to this issue this time around instead of telling me I'm wrong.

At my 31 week appointment and ultrasound, everything looked great.  Jack weighed over three pounds (right on track), his measurements were awesome, and he had some hair.  Since then, I've dreamed of him being born with lots of dark hair, but that is just me trying to guess and make sense of things I cannot know.  At that point, Jack was head-down.  I mentioned in my last update that it felt like his hands were pushing off my left hip with his bottom or legs on my upper-right side of my stomach.  That's exactly how he was positioned.  I know he could possibly still flip around, but I hope he stays head-down.

It seems as soon as I hit 30 weeks (and I mean that same day), I entered a whole new stage in this pregnancy.  Minor carpel tunnel, Braxton Hicks contractions, a little more heartburn, aches in my hips, lower back pain, and all of that fun stuff.  All good signs!

This past week, we made our last road trip.  We went to Woodbridge to see Chris's parents and his aunt Barbara.  I don't think I traveled this late in my pregnancy with Eliot.  It was worth it to see everyone, though.

 

Jack is definitely more active at night.  He starts moving a lot around 9:00 pm.  Sometimes I can only describe Jack's movements as ripples.  Chris had no clue what I was talking about until the other night when Jack was moving crazy all over the place.  He said it totally made sense after feeling that.

We're still a ways out, but the reality of Jack coming is growing more and more real.

Woodbridge Dinosaur Weekend

I hope everyone had a great Cinco de Mayo.  We just had a couple of friends over for lunch and ate veggie tacos, guac, and chips.  Eliot wore what I am calling his Miami Vice shirt for the festivities.  Chris said that he is very jealous of this shirt, but isn't sure he could pull it off.  Instead, we put it on our son (not that we had found an adult version anyway...).

This is all after our trip to Woodbridge to see Chris's family, which I have been calling my last road trip.  Ever.  Not ever, just for a few months.  I didn't travel this late in my pregnancy last time and I knew I didn't want to during my last month especially, but I'm glad I had already decided to call it quits after this.  I didn't realize how sitting in the car for three or more hours would make me swell up and cause my legs, hips, and back to ache for days.  It was worth it to see Chris's family, though, and we made it!  I tried to keep my whining to a minimum, which I guess made it so Chris didn't realize I was hurting a bit and didn't understand why I wasn't being very talkative (and just staring out the window).  Oops.

While in Woodbridge, we drove about an hour to Dinosaur Land in Winchester.  They have all of these dinosaur statues (?) and scenes set up.  It's pretty awesome in a kitsch-y way.  Eliot was all kinds of excited and posed so well saying "cheese" by each one.  And then he was over posing and just wanted to run up the ramp to sit in King Kong's hand a lot.  I have tons of photos, but I haven't had time to pull them off the camera yet, so Instagram is what you get.

Chris and I haven't gone shopping in quite a while (not even to Target--I can't believe that it has been WEEKS since I've been to Target!), so we took advantage of Mawmaw's Eliot play time and also the cool stuff around Dinosaur Land.  We picked up a pair of moccasins for Eliot and also cowboy boots for Jack.  Then that night, we left Eliot with Mawmaw (Chris's mom) and headed to the mall for their Carter's outlet.  I hadn't been to a mall since Eliot had that meltdown almost two months ago.  Anyway, I was excited to get a few more rompers for Jack and use a 20% off coupon.  I'm not much of a coupon-er, but I was stoked to get some of these rompers for about $4.50, a pair of pants for $2, and so on.

The next few days are supposed to be rain-y and disappointing, it seems, but we'll just find things to do indoors.  This week, I'm looking forward to hitting 32 weeks tomorrow, grading, hopefully getting some writing done, and planning out some awesome meals.

Toddler Friends

I could write endlessly about how excited I am for Jack to come, to have two boys, and to watch these sons of mine grow into brothers.  Last night, Eliot swiped the ultrasound pictures from the fridge while excitedly saying, "Baby Jack!  Baby Jack!"  I like to think that he has some understanding of having a baby brother, even if he doesn't know what to expect all the way.

Last night, we had a couple of friends over for dinner.  Lesley blogs over at Everyday Moments, so drop by and wish her good luck as it is almost time for her to deliver her daughter, Eden, after having two adorable boys.  Eliot and Lesley's younger son (Weston) are just two months apart.  The funny thing is that Eden and Jack will also be two months apart.  And then Kingston is two years older than Eliot and Weston.  How's that for a math word problem for you?

Eliot loves playing with Kingston and Weston.  As soon as he saw Kingston come in the front door, he began running in circles and screaming.  And he ran into Chris's hand, which was holding a drink, so we started the night off with a spill.  Then Eliot started trying to tell Ben (Lesley's husband) about there being an alligator and water in the pool, but Eliot was so excited that he wasn't even making sense.  The rest of the night kept right on the same track with the boys running around, chasing the cat, chasing the dog, playing trains, playing cars, playing EVERYTHING, and having a quiet moment with iPhones.  It was a little bit chaotic, but a lot bit awesome.

Here are Weston and Eliot checking out the cat.  Can't reach her?  No problem.  Eliot dragged this chair in from the dining room.

This photo is swiped from Lesley, but we did get them to all sit down to eat dinner, which is a task I sometimes can't manage on my own with just Eliot.  He's always busy, busy, busy and eats later on his own.

Eliot is pretty all right with sharing other people's toys (not perfect but not too bad, really); however, it had been a while since he had friends over and had to share his toys, so I am realizing that is something new we'll need to work out.

Last night gave me a little glimpse of how it will be to have two boys.  Well, Eliot was a bit more crazy than usual since he was so stoked to see his friends (and promptly collapsed onto the sofa after our company left), but I can't wait for Jack to be able to play with Eliot and to watch these brothers fight over cars and learn to love each other.

And today we drive to Woodbridge!  We get to see Chris's parents, his aunt Barb from Florida, DINOSAUR LAND tomorrow, and then Chris's sister on Saturday!