Let's Get Away for a While

Maybe everyone is like this, but if we don't get out of town once every six weeks or so, I feel like I am dragging myself through routines.  I like routines; I like knowing what to expect.  Sometimes, though, we just need a road trip (a small one, even) and a change of scenery.

Chris had signed up for a race in the Outer Banks (about an hour from our house), but his knee has been bothering him.  His knee has been recovering (and this is a re-occurring issue for him), but he worried if he ran a long race, it might set him back and blow the rest of early spring running for him.  I told him not to worry about it, sit this race out, and let's just have fun.  Last Friday, we headed to the Outer Banks for one night in a hotel.

I went to the Outer Banks as a very young kid (like, two or three years old?), but we didn't vacation there regularly or anything.  It was Chris's family's favorite spot.  And I went on a few vacations with them when Chris and I were dating and newly married, so it is a special place for us in our "early years".  I feel funny saying that because Chris and I have only been together for nine years coming in June, so someday I know I will count our whole first decade together as our "early years".

Chris and me in the sound in 2008.  We had been married for a year.

This time, it was just us and our baby boy.  We played on the beach.  We climbed the dunes and slid down over and over at Jockey's Ridge.  We drove around and talked about our memories from our vacations with his family.  We relaxed in bed and ate carry-out dinner from the hotel's restaurant.  We got doughnuts in the morning.  And then we came home.

We weren't even gone for 24 hours, but it was a nice little trip to break up the routine.  We came home and Chris worked on the pool.  I cleaned.  We graded.  The next day, we did more grading and some yard work.  Back to the routine--but it is such a good routine.

Chris and I decided that about four times a year (or maybe once a season?), we will take a mini vacation.  It doesn't have to be far.  It can just be an hour away.  It doesn't have to be long, maybe just one or two nights.  Getting out of town, though, does our brains a lot of good.  I'm not sure where we'll go next, but we were thinking of perhaps going to the Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg in the winter since they have an indoor water park.  Eliot will be almost three and Jack will be around six months old.  It sounds like a great time to splash in some water in the middle of the cold season.

Dear Eliot: Two Years and Three Months

Dear Eliot,

At two years and three months, we are a quarter of the way to you being three years old!  A three-year-old?  That is unbelievable, but I know it will happen.

Sometimes I feel like you are reading the toddler version of a Faulkner novel.  You talk to us constantly about everything you are thinking about, especially when we're in the car--it's like baby stream of consciousness.  "A tree.  A house.  Truck.  Car.  Car.  Farm and a horse! Big sandbox?"  Trust me, I'm not complaining.  I love that you are talkative and expressive.  Your full sentences are growing better and better too.  Just this morning, the dogs were scratching to come inside.  You said, "Daddy, close the door for Bendy-go and Dexter." 

I noticed something funny about your speech development.  You're right on track with your speech, but you really excel when you are conveying some sort of extreme emotion.  I mean, when you're angry, excited, or being bossy, you speak in clear, full sentences.  The more worked up you get, the more complex your sentences grow as well.  "No, I don't want to eat food."  "I am playing with the ball with Bendy."  "I want to watch Thomas."  These are pretty complex for your age if you ask me.  And most people have trouble communicating clearly when you're feeling emotionally.  Not you...  So, that's good, right?

Speaking of being expressive, you love to pretend to be different animals, but your favorite by far is pretending to be a dinosaur.  You roar and stomp around.  When asked what kind of dinosaur you are, you tell us that you are a t-rex.  Usually a t-rex and sometimes a stegosaurus.  You also recognize raptors and triceratops.

At the beginning of this month, we took you to the doctor for your two-year well visit.  You were still 75th percentile for height and 20th for weight (that one has gone up!).  So, you're growing well and you're still tall.  Everything looked great developmental-wise, and you didn't have to get any shots.

I was very concerned about your "tantrums" for a few days.  During that half of a week, you just seemed crazy.  You were always demanding more and asking for things I couldn't give.  And then you'd just cry inconsolably.  I didn't understand what we were doing wrong and figured it was an on-set of those terrible twos.  However, it only took a few days for you to even out.  Suddenly, those fits are few, far between, and much easier to work through.

With the weather growing warmer, we've been able to play outside more.  You love helping your dad with yard work, and you do a great job picking up the gum balls in the yard.

You also helped us open the pool.  That pool is cold, and you aren't too interested in swimming, just splashing on the steps, riding on floats, and squirting us with water guns.  I'm sure that will change as it warms up.

We have enjoyed playing at the beach a few times too.  You call it the "big sandbox".  You love digging in the sand and running into the waves.  Your dad is always there to chase you and make sure that you don't drown, but when we go to the beach, it is almost a guarantee that we will get at least a little wet.

This month, we went to the Outer Banks for a one-night getaway.  We took you to Jockey's Ridge where you just loved climbing up the dunes and then sliding down backwards.  You had this weird, slivering, snake-like technique that worked really oddly well.  You were crazy about that place.  Eventually, you climbed and ran so much that you were exhausted and kept laying down in the sand.  Even then, we had to take you away crying.  We'll go back sometime, I promise.

Your love for animals always continues to grow.  When you see a dog, you want to touch it.  Your favorite animal is still a cat, I think.  In the mornings, you ask to watch youtube videos of cats, dolphins, and sharks.  Some mornings, we watch documentaries on various wild animals.  Even bugs intrigue you, and I am happy to say that you are gentle with animals and bugs too--you don't try to squash bugs at all.

Here, you brought all of your cars to Abed-nego.

You aren't always gentle with everything, though.  Lately you have been testing my limits with your toys and I don't know how to react all the way.  Where do I set the boundaries?  You want to play with cars, but you want to crash them.  You want to throw them down the stairs.  And you love your train table, but you want to take it apart--just exploring, I'm sure.  It has gotten to the point that I don't put it back together for you.  And I think I've decided that it is acceptable for you to crash your cars occasionally, but it is not OK for you to throw them (or any toy other than a ball).  It's hard determining how much space to give you and where to draw the line.

It isn't always easy making the right decisions for you.  I have to let you grow.  I have to let you learn and make messes sometimes.  Otherwise, I'd be yelling all the time--and I hate yelling.  But, you're very sweet and gentle too.  You love to cuddle with me.  You ask to hold my hand when we go for walks.  You are caring and loving.  I love playing with you and I love cuddling with you.  I love watching you run around and I love seeing you sit still.  Everything about you amazes me.

Sunshine

This March, it only broke 60 degrees six times.  That was the least number of "nice" days in March since 1993.  No wonder we've felt so strange.

Yes, all I do is talk about the weather because when you work at home with a little guy, the weather becomes very, very important--not that it isn't important to other people too, but it has grown more important for me than it had been in the past.

Then April came.  It was a little cool at first, but then over the past few days, it's like we skipped spring and went straight into summer.  90 degrees yesterday?  Whoaz.  Not complaining; just sayin'.  I don't think this super spring heat is here to stay--it looks like it cools down some--but either way, I'm just glad that it isn't 40 degrees.

About a week ago, we started prepping to open the pool.  I told Chris that I thought we should wait because, man, it will be cold for so long and I don't want to have to fight to keep Eliot out any longer than I have to.  It has been good, though--better than I expected.  Eliot was stoked to help fill up our very green pool with more water and clean it up some with the help of my dad. 

After we got it all clear and balanced, Eliot happily sat on the steps to play with his toys.  He loves shooting Chris (and me too...) with the waterguns.  I am glad that he isn't too forceful about jumping right in.  In fact, when Chris put him in, Eliot just shook his head and tried to get out, yelling, "COLD!"  Yes, my son, you have some sense, a good thing.  I know it will be a different story once it is warmer, but that will be fun because we'll actually want to get in with him.  Even though he runs around the pool saying, "walk, walk, walk," he hasn't fallen in.  It's the little things.

We've also gone to the beach a couple of times this month.  Eliot calls it the "big sandbox".  He loves playing in the sand, running at the water, and trying to catch seagulls.  He is going to be even more of a handful at the beach this summer since he is already trying to get carried away by a wave, but that makes it more fun.

When Chris said he wanted to plant flowers the other day, I stared at him blankly.  It's not that I don't like flowers or even planting them, but I've totally lost any motivation for it over the past few years.  Chris and I have tried to plant an awesome garden every year for the past six years that we've been married (in June).  We've even done both spring and fall gardens.  And even started over with a different summer garden because I killed everything we planted from spring.  I try to follow directions, I water them consistently, I try different plants and flowers even, and every year it.does.not.work.  My plants just DIE.  I even almost killed a boxwood bush.  Yeah, a BUSH.

But, you know, we're at a new house that fortunately already came landscaped, so if I just have to try to maintain a few flowerbeds, maybe I can do it.  Our last house had full sun (like, MEGA full sun) out back all day, so perhaps it wasn't me.  Maybe everything gets scorched back there.  And my herbs thrived?  I picked out dahlias for the window boxes and Chris wanted ferns for our hanging baskets.  And I watched Eliot draw with chalk and blow bubbles while Chris did all the work.

Toddlers get messy.  Boys like to dig in dirt.  These are things we all know.  However, I didn't realize how many outfit changes my son would need everyyy day once the weather warmed up.  Sometimes, he gets three baths a day.  In the winter, I had been slacking and bathing him every other day.  The boy loves bubble baths and I'm glad he's having fun.  Plus, it is easier to get him dressed after a bath when the weather is warm--he isn't so balled up and fighting his diaper due to being cold.

I feel like winter finally broke.  I can't imagine Eliot needing to wear a hoodie again (though that isn't to say he won't tomorrow or next week).  And I'm so thankful.

Two Boys

I took these photos of Eliot when he was seven months old.

Here as I am entering the third trimester, it is funny to think that I really believed throughout the first trimester (and then some) that we were having a girl.  All of my pregnancy symptoms pointed to "girl," so I bought into it.  But now that I have known for ten weeks (it's only been ten weeks since the ultrasound?!) that we are definitely having a boy, well, I can't imagine it any other way.  At this point, adding a girl to our family this summer would seem so odd.  Jack will fit perfectly into our family.  And I can't wait.

When we are playing outside with Eliot, I think to myself, "I can't wait for Jack to be here.  I can't wait to have TWO boys."

I was trying to figure out dinner in the kitchen while Chris watched Eliot outside from the deck.  I heard this adorable exchange.  "Eliot," Chris instructed, "Put those rocks back.  Put ALL OF THOSE ROCKS back!"  Eliot's reply?  "A bug!"  I laughed at my boy excitedly finding bugs underneath our decorative river stones in the garden.  When we add another son to the mix, there will be even more bugs, rocks, dirt, and messes--I love it.

I think having two boys fits me rather well.  I'm not very girly.  The last time I painted my nails was for my wedding.  I don't even own nail polish (and didn't back then for my wedding either).  Growing up, I thought princesses were pretty awesome, but I was more likely to be found climbing a tree, trying to learn guitar, or wishing I could skateboard and surf.  And though I was never into sports, I like Eliot enjoying sports and playing football outside because it is something he likes.  When I thought of having a girl, I grew a little nervous.  I would much rather play with dinosaurs and cars than Barbies.

I wonder about the dynamics of our two sons.  Eliot is sensitive, creative (drawing, music, taking pictures...), assertive, independent, loves the outdoors and sports, cares deeply about animals, and loves to read.  I wonder if Jack will be similar or if he will be all sports or all creativity.  I wonder if he will be independent too or more of a follower since he has an older brother.  I dream of how they will fit together and how they will conflict with one another (because I know that is inevitable).  As a younger sibling, I wanted to be just like my older sister, but the truth was that we are entirely different people.  I can't be like her because I'm not like her.  We were born with completely separate personalities, and I think that is so interesting--how two children of the same gender can come from one set of parents and end up so different.

Jack will likely be our last babe.  I warned Chris, though, that I might really be feeling a baby itch when I hit 30, so I'm not saying this is it for sure--and sometimes you can't control how many kids you have anyway.  If we do have a third, of course I would be overjoyed to have a girl and would also be so thankful to have a third boy.  At this point, though, having two fits our plans, the size of our home, our finances, and our goals.

Eliot hugs and kisses my belly while saying that he "love[s] Baby Jack."  He touches my belly and giggles at Jack's kicks.  He says he wants to "hold Back Jack."  I love that Eliot and Jack will have each other, even if (and when...) they don't always get along.

28 Weeks

Third trimester!  Finally!

Here at the third trimester, it seems like a big milestone, but my brain can't believe that I still.have.three.months remaining.

I had my 28-week appointment yesterday.  It was time for that glucose tolerance test that everyone hates.  It's not so bad, but I do gag when I have to drink fast, so it was hard to get that stuff down in five minutes.  Eliot was having a particularly cling-y, tearful morning after a rough night, so Chris took him to go get a plain biscuit from McDonalds while I chugged.  No word on the results yet, but they only contact you if something is abnormal.  With Eliot, I failed by one point (boooo) and had to do the three-hour test, which came back normal (yay!).  At my doctor's appointment itself, though, everything looked and sounded good.  So thankful for that heartbeat!  Since everything looked great, I will go back in three weeks, and then I guess I start going every two weeks.

I'm still loving the baby kicks, one of my favorite parts of pregnancy.  I sure wish I had an ultrasound machine so I could understand more clearly what he is doing in there.  I am unable to tell what is a foot, an elbow, a fist, and all of that.  I find it so odd when he is pushing into both of my hips and the top of my tummy all at the same time.  That must look interesting.  Part of me would like to go have a 3D ultrasound for fun, but I know my time is running out since I'm almost at that 30-week cut off.  I'm sure we'll just skip it.  Jack will be here before we know it, and then I can know for sure what he looks like.

Eliot asks about Jack every day.  He asks to "hold Baby Jack," play cars and dinosaurs together, cuddle him, and touch him.  I have shown him a few illustrations of how Jack likely looks on the inside, so I wonder if perhaps he is understanding the concept a little.  It seems so.  He also likes to try to body slam Jack, which is not good, but, you know, they're brothers so I guess it is to be expected.

Still wanting sour things.  The only problem is that lemonade and other sour things give me heartburn from the acidity.  Ah!  I bought a bunch of clementines, and they do the trick in satisfying my sour need, too.  In general, I've been getting more heartburn more frequently than with Eliot.  It's not bad, really, just a nagging burn, so I end up taking about six Tums a day, which I don't think is a lot.  As always, I am reading into all of the signs and symptoms.  Chris, Eliot, and I were all born bald and then grew in blond hair around a year and a half.  I wonder if maybe, just maybe, the extra heartburn could indicate just a litttttle extra hair, which could indicate maybe dark hair.  Chris's sister was born with a head full of dark brown hair, so it's possible.  Oh, the silly things I sit around and speculate about that I have nothing to base it on other than that I think I'm having extra heartburn.  Ha.

I went through and organized Eliot's old clothes for probably the fifth and hopefully last time.  Eliot kept pulling them out of the dresser since the boys will be sharing a dresser for a while, so I have two small, top drawers in the dresser dedicated to size newborn and size zero-three months clothes that can't be hung up.  Then I hung up what I could (three month clothes on the left, our newborn romper and swim trunks on the right).  It's nice to see what we have and sort of take an inventory, and though I think I need to buy a few more newborn rompers, I am not overwhelmed.

Later, I bought a couple of newborn jumper outfits for Jack to add to our closet collection.  Chris isn't a big fan of baby clothes shopping--he says it is too early--but he excitedly picked out these matching outfits for the boys.  Matching outfits?!  I hadn't even thought of that.  I'm not a big match-y person, but Chris thinks it is so funny.

And, of course, a couple of days after I consolidated Jack's clothes into the two small drawers instead of one large drawer, Eliot demonstrated that he could still reach the baby clothes to pull them all out.  Sigh.  It's not that he is being mischievous or trying not to share; he is really curious and likes to point out all of the animals on the baby clothes.

Talking about buying and organizing baby clothes has to be the most boring topic ever, but it is oddly exciting to me.

As for MY clothes, I had to buy some more.  I had gained three pounds since my last appointment four weeks ago (which is good), but my hips are definitely broadening.  You may recall that I bought a pair of maternity jeggings in size one.  Well, I had begun the pregnancy waddle--but not because of my belly.  No, my pants were too tight!  So, up a size I went and fortunately got them on sale again.  I also bought a pair of small black maternity leggings because my regular leggings were... not working... and making marks on my hips.  I didn't see that one coming.  Ha.

I've gotten the nursery pretty much together as far as set-up goes.  I will need a few things here and there, but it looks nice.  I'll probably post pictures of that later.  Instead of buying a bedding set with a quilt, I just picked out a couple of fitted sheets, a mobile, a baby blanket, and re-used Eliot's breathable bumper.  The babe won't need a quilt for some time, and I never even got one for Eliot because he was swaddled as a newborn (though he hated it and still hates blankets) and then ended up in our bed.  So, if we get to the point that Jack needs a quilt beyond his fleece blanket and swaddlers, I'll get him one, but they're so pricey that it just isn't worth the money if he will never use it.

We also took some 28 week portraits like we did with Eliot.  I had hoped to get one of Eliot playing cars with Jack in bed, but he just wanted to roll around instead.  Ha.  We went to my grandma's field and took a few quick shots there with the tripod and remote.  We were only there for about ten minutes at the most, so considering how fast we went, I'm pretty happy with our self-taken photos.  Here is one of me at 28 weeks with Eliot followed by a couple of similar shots with Jack.

Transition Away from Co-sleeping: Looking for New Tools

I have written before about why we decided to co-sleep, our sleep battles in attempts to transition Eliot out of our bed, and our most recent transition away from co-sleeping. 

Our sleep transition with Eliot has been taking longer than I had hoped.  It has been three months.  Here are our general accomplishments:
-Eliot goes to bed around 9:30 pm.  He doesn't fight it or cry.  He even asks to go to bed sometimes.
-I lay with Eliot to get him to sleep.  I wait until he is in deep sleep, but that sometimes means I end up falling asleep myself and don't get in my own bed until after midnight.
-Eliot rouses once an hour or so.  He has done this since birth.  If he is in bed with us, he sees I'm there, cuddles up close, and goes back to sleep.  If he is in his bed, he sits up and calls for us.  The first time, I try telling to go back to sleep.  Sometimes this is enough, but generally I have to get up, lay him back down, and tuck him in.  He goes right back to sleep, though, and I don't have to lay with him.
-By the second time he gets up, I usually haven't even fallen back to sleep yet.  I feel tired and frustrated.  I tell him to go back to sleep.  This second time is when I allow him in our bed, often about 4:00 am.  Sometimes he crawls in our bed himself; other times Daddy goes to rescue him.

These are in areas in which we need to improve:
-I wish I didn't have to lay with him until he is in deep sleep.  I wish I could just lay with him for about 20 minutes as he is in light sleep.  I've tried leaving him, but it never lasts.  He gets up and cries.  I've left the room too, but he ends up crying at the door.  I don't want to get in a cry-it-out debate, but I do not feel comfortable leaving him alone in our room at night crying at the door.  Sleeping alone in our room?  Yes.  Playing during the day with lights on in our room?  Yes.  But crying in the dark alone?  No.  I don't know what he might get into.  Plus, it doesn't seem to accomplish anything for us at this point.
-Eliot needs to learn to get himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  He has the same rhythm during naptime--he wakes up after about an hour, but I always sit with him during his naps (doing work on the computer, so it isn't wasted time at all), so he goes back to sleep.
-I don't mind him getting in our bed in the early morning.  In fact, I prefer it.  It would be nice, though, if it could be more consistently around 4:00 am.
-Eventually, he needs to be moved into his own room.  Whether that is before Jack comes, I don't know.  It'd be nice, but I'm not pushing it.

Since I've been at this for three months without breaking beyond this progress, I need to try different approaches.  I can keep trying to leave him during light sleep to see if he just "gets it," but that is incredibly exhausting and frustrating.

As I search for answers, I came across the idea of a weighted blanket.  These blankets provide the security and feel of being held.  Now, Eliot HATED being swaddled as a babe; however, he needs the assurance of someone holding him in order to sleep.  Maybe the weighted blanket can help with that.

Maybe I'm not a crazy, horrible parent who has allowed her son to become dependent on others to sleep, but instead he has a physical need to address instead of a behavioral issue.  It seems that many children have success with the weighted blanket because it helps release serotonin to aid sleep.  Maybe Eliot needs extra serotonin and my embrace at night is what helps him get that.  I hope that the weighted blanket can help him.

Of course, there is also melatonin, which I am cautious about.  I hear that it is great and helpful for short-term, but you can build a tolerance.  I am always leery of long-term use of something like that.  Instead of purchasing melatonin itself, perhaps I could try having Eliot eat a banana or drink a banana smoothie before bed.

So, that's where we stand at this point.  We've done well, but I think we need to try some new things to get us to the next step.  I've approached his sleep transition as a Behaviorist with classical conditioning (big boy bed = sleep, safe, and comfort) and operant conditioning (getting new sheets, Cars pillow, and stuffed toys; eventually, I'd like to get him a car bed as a reward).  Now it is time to see if hopefully some Biological approaches with the weighted blanket and melatonin from a banana might help.

Recent Adventures

My previous two entries haven't been the most optimistic, so I figured I should write some (or a lot) about our recent adventures.

I'm not breaking out the umbrellas yet (and this week is supposed to get cool again), but I am so thankful for the decent weather lately.  This winter has been the hardest yet!  Yesterday, though, Chris opened the door in our bedroom to the back deck to get some fresh air in while Eliot napped and I did work.  Our cat is permanently stuck to the open window in the kitchen.  The heat and AC are both off.  And we had a couple of friends over to grill out for dinner.  A glimpse of summer.

Chris and Eliot did a lot of yard work this week too.  Chris loves it; I hate it, but it feels great to be outside.  I taught Eliot how to pick up the gumballs and put them in a bucket, which has been really useful (and suddenly I think of Thomas the Train).

Of course, Sunday was Easter.  Eliot has been so all about cameras for the past few weeks.  He refused to let us take his picture unless he was taking pictures too--I must have worded my plans the wrong way--but it is pretty cute.  We had Easter brunch with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, their kids, and my grandma.  This was Eliot's third Easter, and while he doesn't get the Easter Bunny, he was way more excited about egg trails and Reese's eggs.  He does not like chocolate bunnies, so I might have to eat that for him.

It hasn't been all fun lately.  We took the dogs to their new vet yesterday to get checked out prior to setting up a teeth cleaning.  Poor Dexter will be just two years old this month and one of his teeth is so bad that a root is exposed!  Over the past few months, he has grown less tolerant of Eliot's hugs and running around, so I figured it was time to neuter the guy (I know, I know), but I bet the pain of his tooth is also contributing to his grumpiness.  We're getting it taken care of as soon as we can and then will neuter him.

...And then, of course, our rabbit died last night, so we really had to get ourselves out of the house to take our minds off things today.  We tried having a fancy lunch at a restaurant on the beach, but Eliot kept saying he wanted to "go away" to the "sandbox" (translation:  he wanted to go play in the sand on the beach), so we ate fast.  We ended up playing in the sand, chasing seagulls, and taking photos for an hour.  It was great and my nose even got a little sunburn--and I do wear 15 SPF every day, by the way.

Other than that, we've been hanging around the house, doing work, reading lots of books, and working on the alphabet and counting.