Sunshine

This March, it only broke 60 degrees six times.  That was the least number of "nice" days in March since 1993.  No wonder we've felt so strange.

Yes, all I do is talk about the weather because when you work at home with a little guy, the weather becomes very, very important--not that it isn't important to other people too, but it has grown more important for me than it had been in the past.

Then April came.  It was a little cool at first, but then over the past few days, it's like we skipped spring and went straight into summer.  90 degrees yesterday?  Whoaz.  Not complaining; just sayin'.  I don't think this super spring heat is here to stay--it looks like it cools down some--but either way, I'm just glad that it isn't 40 degrees.

About a week ago, we started prepping to open the pool.  I told Chris that I thought we should wait because, man, it will be cold for so long and I don't want to have to fight to keep Eliot out any longer than I have to.  It has been good, though--better than I expected.  Eliot was stoked to help fill up our very green pool with more water and clean it up some with the help of my dad. 

After we got it all clear and balanced, Eliot happily sat on the steps to play with his toys.  He loves shooting Chris (and me too...) with the waterguns.  I am glad that he isn't too forceful about jumping right in.  In fact, when Chris put him in, Eliot just shook his head and tried to get out, yelling, "COLD!"  Yes, my son, you have some sense, a good thing.  I know it will be a different story once it is warmer, but that will be fun because we'll actually want to get in with him.  Even though he runs around the pool saying, "walk, walk, walk," he hasn't fallen in.  It's the little things.

We've also gone to the beach a couple of times this month.  Eliot calls it the "big sandbox".  He loves playing in the sand, running at the water, and trying to catch seagulls.  He is going to be even more of a handful at the beach this summer since he is already trying to get carried away by a wave, but that makes it more fun.

When Chris said he wanted to plant flowers the other day, I stared at him blankly.  It's not that I don't like flowers or even planting them, but I've totally lost any motivation for it over the past few years.  Chris and I have tried to plant an awesome garden every year for the past six years that we've been married (in June).  We've even done both spring and fall gardens.  And even started over with a different summer garden because I killed everything we planted from spring.  I try to follow directions, I water them consistently, I try different plants and flowers even, and every year it.does.not.work.  My plants just DIE.  I even almost killed a boxwood bush.  Yeah, a BUSH.

But, you know, we're at a new house that fortunately already came landscaped, so if I just have to try to maintain a few flowerbeds, maybe I can do it.  Our last house had full sun (like, MEGA full sun) out back all day, so perhaps it wasn't me.  Maybe everything gets scorched back there.  And my herbs thrived?  I picked out dahlias for the window boxes and Chris wanted ferns for our hanging baskets.  And I watched Eliot draw with chalk and blow bubbles while Chris did all the work.

Toddlers get messy.  Boys like to dig in dirt.  These are things we all know.  However, I didn't realize how many outfit changes my son would need everyyy day once the weather warmed up.  Sometimes, he gets three baths a day.  In the winter, I had been slacking and bathing him every other day.  The boy loves bubble baths and I'm glad he's having fun.  Plus, it is easier to get him dressed after a bath when the weather is warm--he isn't so balled up and fighting his diaper due to being cold.

I feel like winter finally broke.  I can't imagine Eliot needing to wear a hoodie again (though that isn't to say he won't tomorrow or next week).  And I'm so thankful.

Two Boys

I took these photos of Eliot when he was seven months old.

Here as I am entering the third trimester, it is funny to think that I really believed throughout the first trimester (and then some) that we were having a girl.  All of my pregnancy symptoms pointed to "girl," so I bought into it.  But now that I have known for ten weeks (it's only been ten weeks since the ultrasound?!) that we are definitely having a boy, well, I can't imagine it any other way.  At this point, adding a girl to our family this summer would seem so odd.  Jack will fit perfectly into our family.  And I can't wait.

When we are playing outside with Eliot, I think to myself, "I can't wait for Jack to be here.  I can't wait to have TWO boys."

I was trying to figure out dinner in the kitchen while Chris watched Eliot outside from the deck.  I heard this adorable exchange.  "Eliot," Chris instructed, "Put those rocks back.  Put ALL OF THOSE ROCKS back!"  Eliot's reply?  "A bug!"  I laughed at my boy excitedly finding bugs underneath our decorative river stones in the garden.  When we add another son to the mix, there will be even more bugs, rocks, dirt, and messes--I love it.

I think having two boys fits me rather well.  I'm not very girly.  The last time I painted my nails was for my wedding.  I don't even own nail polish (and didn't back then for my wedding either).  Growing up, I thought princesses were pretty awesome, but I was more likely to be found climbing a tree, trying to learn guitar, or wishing I could skateboard and surf.  And though I was never into sports, I like Eliot enjoying sports and playing football outside because it is something he likes.  When I thought of having a girl, I grew a little nervous.  I would much rather play with dinosaurs and cars than Barbies.

I wonder about the dynamics of our two sons.  Eliot is sensitive, creative (drawing, music, taking pictures...), assertive, independent, loves the outdoors and sports, cares deeply about animals, and loves to read.  I wonder if Jack will be similar or if he will be all sports or all creativity.  I wonder if he will be independent too or more of a follower since he has an older brother.  I dream of how they will fit together and how they will conflict with one another (because I know that is inevitable).  As a younger sibling, I wanted to be just like my older sister, but the truth was that we are entirely different people.  I can't be like her because I'm not like her.  We were born with completely separate personalities, and I think that is so interesting--how two children of the same gender can come from one set of parents and end up so different.

Jack will likely be our last babe.  I warned Chris, though, that I might really be feeling a baby itch when I hit 30, so I'm not saying this is it for sure--and sometimes you can't control how many kids you have anyway.  If we do have a third, of course I would be overjoyed to have a girl and would also be so thankful to have a third boy.  At this point, though, having two fits our plans, the size of our home, our finances, and our goals.

Eliot hugs and kisses my belly while saying that he "love[s] Baby Jack."  He touches my belly and giggles at Jack's kicks.  He says he wants to "hold Back Jack."  I love that Eliot and Jack will have each other, even if (and when...) they don't always get along.

28 Weeks

Third trimester!  Finally!

Here at the third trimester, it seems like a big milestone, but my brain can't believe that I still.have.three.months remaining.

I had my 28-week appointment yesterday.  It was time for that glucose tolerance test that everyone hates.  It's not so bad, but I do gag when I have to drink fast, so it was hard to get that stuff down in five minutes.  Eliot was having a particularly cling-y, tearful morning after a rough night, so Chris took him to go get a plain biscuit from McDonalds while I chugged.  No word on the results yet, but they only contact you if something is abnormal.  With Eliot, I failed by one point (boooo) and had to do the three-hour test, which came back normal (yay!).  At my doctor's appointment itself, though, everything looked and sounded good.  So thankful for that heartbeat!  Since everything looked great, I will go back in three weeks, and then I guess I start going every two weeks.

I'm still loving the baby kicks, one of my favorite parts of pregnancy.  I sure wish I had an ultrasound machine so I could understand more clearly what he is doing in there.  I am unable to tell what is a foot, an elbow, a fist, and all of that.  I find it so odd when he is pushing into both of my hips and the top of my tummy all at the same time.  That must look interesting.  Part of me would like to go have a 3D ultrasound for fun, but I know my time is running out since I'm almost at that 30-week cut off.  I'm sure we'll just skip it.  Jack will be here before we know it, and then I can know for sure what he looks like.

Eliot asks about Jack every day.  He asks to "hold Baby Jack," play cars and dinosaurs together, cuddle him, and touch him.  I have shown him a few illustrations of how Jack likely looks on the inside, so I wonder if perhaps he is understanding the concept a little.  It seems so.  He also likes to try to body slam Jack, which is not good, but, you know, they're brothers so I guess it is to be expected.

Still wanting sour things.  The only problem is that lemonade and other sour things give me heartburn from the acidity.  Ah!  I bought a bunch of clementines, and they do the trick in satisfying my sour need, too.  In general, I've been getting more heartburn more frequently than with Eliot.  It's not bad, really, just a nagging burn, so I end up taking about six Tums a day, which I don't think is a lot.  As always, I am reading into all of the signs and symptoms.  Chris, Eliot, and I were all born bald and then grew in blond hair around a year and a half.  I wonder if maybe, just maybe, the extra heartburn could indicate just a litttttle extra hair, which could indicate maybe dark hair.  Chris's sister was born with a head full of dark brown hair, so it's possible.  Oh, the silly things I sit around and speculate about that I have nothing to base it on other than that I think I'm having extra heartburn.  Ha.

I went through and organized Eliot's old clothes for probably the fifth and hopefully last time.  Eliot kept pulling them out of the dresser since the boys will be sharing a dresser for a while, so I have two small, top drawers in the dresser dedicated to size newborn and size zero-three months clothes that can't be hung up.  Then I hung up what I could (three month clothes on the left, our newborn romper and swim trunks on the right).  It's nice to see what we have and sort of take an inventory, and though I think I need to buy a few more newborn rompers, I am not overwhelmed.

Later, I bought a couple of newborn jumper outfits for Jack to add to our closet collection.  Chris isn't a big fan of baby clothes shopping--he says it is too early--but he excitedly picked out these matching outfits for the boys.  Matching outfits?!  I hadn't even thought of that.  I'm not a big match-y person, but Chris thinks it is so funny.

And, of course, a couple of days after I consolidated Jack's clothes into the two small drawers instead of one large drawer, Eliot demonstrated that he could still reach the baby clothes to pull them all out.  Sigh.  It's not that he is being mischievous or trying not to share; he is really curious and likes to point out all of the animals on the baby clothes.

Talking about buying and organizing baby clothes has to be the most boring topic ever, but it is oddly exciting to me.

As for MY clothes, I had to buy some more.  I had gained three pounds since my last appointment four weeks ago (which is good), but my hips are definitely broadening.  You may recall that I bought a pair of maternity jeggings in size one.  Well, I had begun the pregnancy waddle--but not because of my belly.  No, my pants were too tight!  So, up a size I went and fortunately got them on sale again.  I also bought a pair of small black maternity leggings because my regular leggings were... not working... and making marks on my hips.  I didn't see that one coming.  Ha.

I've gotten the nursery pretty much together as far as set-up goes.  I will need a few things here and there, but it looks nice.  I'll probably post pictures of that later.  Instead of buying a bedding set with a quilt, I just picked out a couple of fitted sheets, a mobile, a baby blanket, and re-used Eliot's breathable bumper.  The babe won't need a quilt for some time, and I never even got one for Eliot because he was swaddled as a newborn (though he hated it and still hates blankets) and then ended up in our bed.  So, if we get to the point that Jack needs a quilt beyond his fleece blanket and swaddlers, I'll get him one, but they're so pricey that it just isn't worth the money if he will never use it.

We also took some 28 week portraits like we did with Eliot.  I had hoped to get one of Eliot playing cars with Jack in bed, but he just wanted to roll around instead.  Ha.  We went to my grandma's field and took a few quick shots there with the tripod and remote.  We were only there for about ten minutes at the most, so considering how fast we went, I'm pretty happy with our self-taken photos.  Here is one of me at 28 weeks with Eliot followed by a couple of similar shots with Jack.

Transition Away from Co-sleeping: Looking for New Tools

I have written before about why we decided to co-sleep, our sleep battles in attempts to transition Eliot out of our bed, and our most recent transition away from co-sleeping. 

Our sleep transition with Eliot has been taking longer than I had hoped.  It has been three months.  Here are our general accomplishments:
-Eliot goes to bed around 9:30 pm.  He doesn't fight it or cry.  He even asks to go to bed sometimes.
-I lay with Eliot to get him to sleep.  I wait until he is in deep sleep, but that sometimes means I end up falling asleep myself and don't get in my own bed until after midnight.
-Eliot rouses once an hour or so.  He has done this since birth.  If he is in bed with us, he sees I'm there, cuddles up close, and goes back to sleep.  If he is in his bed, he sits up and calls for us.  The first time, I try telling to go back to sleep.  Sometimes this is enough, but generally I have to get up, lay him back down, and tuck him in.  He goes right back to sleep, though, and I don't have to lay with him.
-By the second time he gets up, I usually haven't even fallen back to sleep yet.  I feel tired and frustrated.  I tell him to go back to sleep.  This second time is when I allow him in our bed, often about 4:00 am.  Sometimes he crawls in our bed himself; other times Daddy goes to rescue him.

These are in areas in which we need to improve:
-I wish I didn't have to lay with him until he is in deep sleep.  I wish I could just lay with him for about 20 minutes as he is in light sleep.  I've tried leaving him, but it never lasts.  He gets up and cries.  I've left the room too, but he ends up crying at the door.  I don't want to get in a cry-it-out debate, but I do not feel comfortable leaving him alone in our room at night crying at the door.  Sleeping alone in our room?  Yes.  Playing during the day with lights on in our room?  Yes.  But crying in the dark alone?  No.  I don't know what he might get into.  Plus, it doesn't seem to accomplish anything for us at this point.
-Eliot needs to learn to get himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  He has the same rhythm during naptime--he wakes up after about an hour, but I always sit with him during his naps (doing work on the computer, so it isn't wasted time at all), so he goes back to sleep.
-I don't mind him getting in our bed in the early morning.  In fact, I prefer it.  It would be nice, though, if it could be more consistently around 4:00 am.
-Eventually, he needs to be moved into his own room.  Whether that is before Jack comes, I don't know.  It'd be nice, but I'm not pushing it.

Since I've been at this for three months without breaking beyond this progress, I need to try different approaches.  I can keep trying to leave him during light sleep to see if he just "gets it," but that is incredibly exhausting and frustrating.

As I search for answers, I came across the idea of a weighted blanket.  These blankets provide the security and feel of being held.  Now, Eliot HATED being swaddled as a babe; however, he needs the assurance of someone holding him in order to sleep.  Maybe the weighted blanket can help with that.

Maybe I'm not a crazy, horrible parent who has allowed her son to become dependent on others to sleep, but instead he has a physical need to address instead of a behavioral issue.  It seems that many children have success with the weighted blanket because it helps release serotonin to aid sleep.  Maybe Eliot needs extra serotonin and my embrace at night is what helps him get that.  I hope that the weighted blanket can help him.

Of course, there is also melatonin, which I am cautious about.  I hear that it is great and helpful for short-term, but you can build a tolerance.  I am always leery of long-term use of something like that.  Instead of purchasing melatonin itself, perhaps I could try having Eliot eat a banana or drink a banana smoothie before bed.

So, that's where we stand at this point.  We've done well, but I think we need to try some new things to get us to the next step.  I've approached his sleep transition as a Behaviorist with classical conditioning (big boy bed = sleep, safe, and comfort) and operant conditioning (getting new sheets, Cars pillow, and stuffed toys; eventually, I'd like to get him a car bed as a reward).  Now it is time to see if hopefully some Biological approaches with the weighted blanket and melatonin from a banana might help.

Recent Adventures

My previous two entries haven't been the most optimistic, so I figured I should write some (or a lot) about our recent adventures.

I'm not breaking out the umbrellas yet (and this week is supposed to get cool again), but I am so thankful for the decent weather lately.  This winter has been the hardest yet!  Yesterday, though, Chris opened the door in our bedroom to the back deck to get some fresh air in while Eliot napped and I did work.  Our cat is permanently stuck to the open window in the kitchen.  The heat and AC are both off.  And we had a couple of friends over to grill out for dinner.  A glimpse of summer.

Chris and Eliot did a lot of yard work this week too.  Chris loves it; I hate it, but it feels great to be outside.  I taught Eliot how to pick up the gumballs and put them in a bucket, which has been really useful (and suddenly I think of Thomas the Train).

Of course, Sunday was Easter.  Eliot has been so all about cameras for the past few weeks.  He refused to let us take his picture unless he was taking pictures too--I must have worded my plans the wrong way--but it is pretty cute.  We had Easter brunch with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, their kids, and my grandma.  This was Eliot's third Easter, and while he doesn't get the Easter Bunny, he was way more excited about egg trails and Reese's eggs.  He does not like chocolate bunnies, so I might have to eat that for him.

It hasn't been all fun lately.  We took the dogs to their new vet yesterday to get checked out prior to setting up a teeth cleaning.  Poor Dexter will be just two years old this month and one of his teeth is so bad that a root is exposed!  Over the past few months, he has grown less tolerant of Eliot's hugs and running around, so I figured it was time to neuter the guy (I know, I know), but I bet the pain of his tooth is also contributing to his grumpiness.  We're getting it taken care of as soon as we can and then will neuter him.

...And then, of course, our rabbit died last night, so we really had to get ourselves out of the house to take our minds off things today.  We tried having a fancy lunch at a restaurant on the beach, but Eliot kept saying he wanted to "go away" to the "sandbox" (translation:  he wanted to go play in the sand on the beach), so we ate fast.  We ended up playing in the sand, chasing seagulls, and taking photos for an hour.  It was great and my nose even got a little sunburn--and I do wear 15 SPF every day, by the way.

Other than that, we've been hanging around the house, doing work, reading lots of books, and working on the alphabet and counting.

Bye-bye Bunny: Our Mr. Rufus

Last night, we lost our bunny of nearly nine years.

This might seem especially silly to some (or probably many) people, but our rabbit, Mr. Rufus, was more to me than just a bunny.  Some people see rabbits as similar to hamsters--they are rodents--and others set their rabbits in a hutch outside.  Mr. Rufus was more like a cat or a dog to us.  She was litter-trained.  She had free run of the house most of the time.  She would jump on the couch for snuggles.  Even though we also had two dogs and a cat, Mr. Rufus was in charge of the house.  The other animals were interested in her, but respected her.  She loved junk food, especially Doritos, but we kept her to a strict diet of Oxbow bunny food, hay, and fresh greens.  She loved to have her forehead rubbed (she would grind her teeth like a cat purring) and ears massaged.  She was definitely a member of the family.

Growing up, my family nickname was Katie Rabbit because my sister wanted my middle name to be Rabbit.  I guess in this way I was set up to have a special, soft spot for rabbits since before birth.  As a kid, rabbits were always my favorite animal.  I begged for a bunny, but my parents always said no.

When I was 18, I finally convinced my dad that a Holland mini lop would grow no larger than the palm of his hand.  Sorry, Dad, but I was thinking of a dwarf rabbit.  Mr. Rufus grew much, much larger, but I didn't care. 

When I first got her in fall 2004.

You might be wondering why she was named "Mister".  When I got her, the pet store told me that she was a male.  When she was old enough to be neutered, we took her to the vet, but she came back spayed instead.  She was six months old by then, so the "Mister" just stuck anyway.  

I treated her like a puppy--no, I treated her like a child.  During the first couple of years with Mr. Rufus, I took her everywhere I could and places that I shouldn't.  We snuck her into Chris's dorm.  We took her on "walks" on a leash.  We took her to play on the playground equipment at the park.

In the spring, I took her for bike rides.

In the summer, I put her in the pool.  Did you know that rabbits are excellent swimmers?

In the fall, we carved pumpkins together.  

In the winter, she played in the snow.

I slowly realized that she probably didn't enjoy these activities and just went along with it, so I stopped lugging her everywhere as much.  However, that didn't mean that she was "left behind" or forgotten in any way.

When I went away to Longwood for college, I brought Mr. Rufus with us.  I lived in a dorm, but Chris lived in an apartment with three other guys, so Mr. Rufus lived with him.  Looking back, it must have seemed so strange to bring a rabbit to college, but to me, she was one of the most important parts of my life.  I couldn't leave her behind.

Mr. Rufus in the fall garden.  I had this grand image in my head of her enjoying greens straight out of our garden.  She was not interested; she always was a little nervous outside.

Through the years, Mr. Rufus was ever-present in the action of our home.  We kept her cage in the den so she would always be around us.  We let her run around the house whenever we could.  Chris always said that he hoped she'd still be around when we eventually had kids.  He wanted to share her with them.  And then we had Eliot.  Eliot loves all animals, but he really loved that bunny.  In fact, the first time he pulled to a stand, he used her cage.

Eliot grew from a baby to a toddler.  He had to be taught to be gentle, but he was generally good with her.  He loved to help feed her.  He would patiently scratch her head while she sat safely in her cage.  And almost every day, Eliot would lay on the couch and beg for me to set Mr. Rufus next to him.  She would snuggle next to him and he loved to scratch her head.  He called her "Foo-foo" before he could say "Rufus".

Eliot and Mr. Rufus sharing an apple.

Mr. Rufus really was in charge of the other pets.  Here is Dexter submitting to her while she scented his nose.

Last night, we were letting Mr. Rufus run around the house like usual.  We've been doing this since she was a little bunny.  And then when I went into our bedroom, she was just laying there dead.  Eliot saw her.  She had some loose fur around her and Eliot cried, "Rufus apart!  Rufus apart!"  I took him away and got him to sleep on the couch while Chris buried her in the backyard.  I have no idea what happened.  She had slowly been losing weight over the past handful of months.  She was old for a bunny.  Rabbits have heart attacks easily, so I am guessing that is what happened.  I feel really bad for Eliot because when he woke up this morning, he shouted, "Rufus apart!"  The poor boy thinks his rabbit just fell apart, I guess.

I try to keep in mind that she lived a long time and had a good life for a rabbit.  So many rabbits are bought at Easter when they are cute and tiny, and then their owners put them in a cage in a corner or drop them off at a humane society.  Mr. Rufus was loved throughout all of her eight and a half years.  I hope that she knew that we liked her a lot.

Moneyz

It's rude to talk about money, they say.  I try not to ask others about their money, even if I'm just trying to be friendly, but it's something I want to always talk to my sons about.  I was involved in my parents' money discussions--not that I was making financial decisions with them, just that they tried to explain what they were doing and built budgets along with me for my money.  My college was budgeted out completely, down to how much food my rabbit ate a month.

I'm the person who is more likely to stuff money under my mattress, not even count it, and sit on it.  I hate buying expensive things--and when Chris says he wants to buy something for more than $30, I always say no, that it is a bad idea, at first.  That makes me feel better because I know my mattress money is there if I need it.  But money doesn't grow like that, and money certainly isn't accounted for in this way either.

Chris and I are young, but we have a family.  We wanted to start a college fund for the boys early.  Our hope is that we can pay for their undergraduate degrees, so we're trying to come up with a plan to start now, even if it is small.  And then there's our retirement....  That seems a long ways off, but we don't have a retirement plan through work, so it is up to us.  There are so many options, and people from the outside like to tell you what to do "for sure," but we're the ones who have to put the money aside and live with the consequences, both good and bad, of our choices.  And should you focus aggressively on retirement when you also pay tuition in cash and have student loans?  So many booming voices proclaim that we can do both, yet I'm still settling into a new house with a new budget that I am piecing together with a new baby on the way.  It's a lot to organize right now.

So, as you can see, I am allowing myself to become overwhelmed.  Term v. whole life insurance.  ROTH IRAs.  VA 529 plans.  Setting up a will and a trust?  And what about the "things" in life that I want to buy as we enjoy life?  Like a vacation every now and then (I feel like everyone else travels so much more than us) or a larger vehicle in about five years?  Oh, goodness.  Suddenly, my mattress is looking like a less complicated place to keep my money.  I try to think of what Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman would say.  I reflect on our personal situation, our goals, and our hopes.  I try to keep in mind that the fact that we're working on these things at this age is great.  We don't have to invest heavily now, but getting started (or even waiting six months) is something I will be glad we began early on.