"Not your timing. Not your planning. But Mine."

I'm a planner.  I'm a list maker.  I'm a goal setter--I set deadlines for things that I don't need to and too aggressive of goals at that.  I have been getting better, though, at not fretting when life doesn't measure up to my unrealistic expectations.  That is what motherhood does to you, I guess (not that being a mother is continually a "let down," but instead that there are more people involved and more parts of life that you don't have control over.  and naps.  yes, more naps).

So when I didn't understand why my hopes for growing our family have been taking much longer than I expected and I waded through feelings of inadequacy due to our loss four months ago, I had to quiet myself.  I had to quiet my goals for things I can't control.  I had to stop blaming myself.  I had to sit and listen for that still, quiet assurance.  And I listened quietly as I drove down the busy road.

Not your timing.  Not your planning.  But Mine.