Feeling Spontaneous: Eliot's First Busch Gardens Trip

Do you ever do things that you think seem reckless, but they're not?  They're just fine, actually?  That was us yesterday.

Both of our weekly meetings were canceled.  We didn't have much work to do.  I told Chris I felt cooped up.  "Let's go to Busch Gardens!"

Chris and I grew up an hour from Busch Gardens.  I went as a kid and a teenager; Chris went constantly in the summer with his friends when he was in high school.  However, he and I had never been together--and we've been married for almost six years and dated three years before that.

We don't do much spontaneous these days, so it felt wrong.  It felt like I should get a permission slip filled out first, but we didn't have any commitments, Busch Gardens is an hour away, and we had been planning to go whenever it warmed up enough.  Plus, if you're a Virginia resident, you get a season's ticket for pretty much the price of one admission.  We figured this could be something fun to do with Eliot on days that we don't know what to do and we feel like getting out of town.  It's far enough to feel special, but close enough to be convenient.

We waited until Eliot's naptime and put him in the car to sleep.  And then we drove!  He passed out right away and woke up 15 minutes before we arrived.  Maybe that seems silly to go in the afternoon, but it would be warmer (55 degrees?) and we knew we'd only stay a short while with Eliot.

Eliot loved the train.  He loved pointing at all of the castles and dragons.  He met Elmo.  He rode three rides.  And one of those rides, he had to ride alone.  And we were so nervous, but he demanded to go on the ride since it was little ladybug cars.  He just went along, and I thought he was looking for us for a second, but when he saw us, he just yelled, "Vroooooom!"  I need to learn to trust him more and allow him to grow in his independence--he's bigger than I think he is.

Eliot also had a great time at Land of the Dragons.  How he understands the difference between a dinosaur and a dragon, I do not know, but he gets it.

We stayed for about two hours until Eliot seemed tired, I knew I was tired (pregnant ankles...), and it was growing colder and windier.  I think we left the park at just the right time, and Eliot only got upset as we were leaving because he wanted to ride the train again (but we'd have to go around the whole park to get to the exit and it was really too windy).  Next time, little buddy!

And there will be a next time!  Chris is talking about going again on Monday when it is warmer.

26 Weeks

At 26 weeks, those kicks are getting a little painful.  They don't always hurt, but sometimes Jack will give me a really good jab and it takes a second to re-gain my composure.  He moves frequently and loves to kick when I'm eating.  He's been giving me a 4:00 am wake-up call each morning, but I don't mind too much.  I would probably be awake anyway.  I swear he is doing bicycle kicks in there.  I love to feel him move.

Those baby movements are what finally calmed my anxiety about Jack's development.  I was a bucket of worries throughout my first trimester.  And then those worries kept coming until I felt flutters at 15 and a half weeks.  After our 20-week ultrasound, I felt relieved to know that Jack was growing fine.  Now that I feel him move so often and so strong, I don't worry anymore.

I started doubling up on my morning prenatal vitamin in hopes of getting some more energy.  It helps some days, so I'm not sure if it is the vitamins or just luck.

I've really slacked with exercising this time around, and I blame the weather.  With Eliot, I found out in late April that we were expecting and already had an exercise routine, so it was warm and easy to go on walks.  I exercised almost every day until my third trimester (which also happened to be when it got cold).  This time, it has been so cold the entire time.  When we've had warm days, I've gone on walks, but I think that this time I'll end up STARTING to exercise in my third trimester instead of stopping.  And, yes, I should have exercised the whole time indoors with prenatal yoga or something, but I'm just not that good of a person.

Yesterday, I weighed 109 pounds after breakfast.  That is a weight gain of 13?  That still puts me on pace for a pound a week, which would be 27 total.  My goal is to keep it about 30.  At the same time, I'm trying to keep in mind that I don't have that much control over my weight.  I eat well, my portions are smaller than my non-pregnant self, my snacks in between meals are healthy, and my "indulgences" are limited.  Lately, my cravings have turned more to sour things again.  They always seem to come at night after dinner when it is inconvenient to leave the house.  Taco Bell has iced lemonade, which is pretty awesome.  I've had one and am trying not to get another one for a while.  Instead, I make a strawberry-banana-orange juice smoothie.

I've been horrible at applying cocobutter this time around.  The kind I bought was in a fancy bottle.  Surely, it would smell nice, right?  It smells like cucumbers and I can't stand cucumbers--I hate their smell, taste, texture, and everything about them.  I quit using it.  I mean, who even knows for certain that it works, right?  RIGHT?!  Then I noticed the beginnings of a stretch mark on my belly!  Ah!  I didn't get any on my belly with Eliot (just some on my thighs, which I had issues with in high school anyway).  I went ahead and bought the same, classic Palmer's cocobutter that I used with Eliot and you better believe I've been applying that stuff daily.

When I hit the third trimester in two weeks, we'll take some portraits like we did with Eliot.  I have some poses in mind, and I'm pretty excited to see them leave my brain and become photos we'll cherish.  Then we'll take more around 36 weeks like I did with Eliot, I suppose.  I don't always feel like I look my best these days, but pictures are important to me--and I know I won't regret it.

We're planning to have a "Yeah, Jack" party in a couple of months.  I don't think anyone is planning to throw me a shower (and that isn't a hint I'm trying to drop, really--I swear).  However, we still want to celebrate with family and friends, so we're having a little pool party at the beginning of June in honor of Jack.  Gifts are appreciated, but not expected.  It is important to me to celebrate our boy, even though we don't need many "things," and this will be kind of our last "sha-bang" before Jack arrives.  I can't waiiiit and would do it earlier, but I want the pool to be warmer.

I have three months and one week exactly until my due date.  Sometimes that sounds like a long time; sometimes it seems so short.  I feel like I should buy a pack of diapers or SOMETHING, but we have time.  And I had my shower with Eliot at 26 weeks (I know that's super early, but it was due to work schedules and having to come in town for the shower), so we were able to figure out what else we needed and make those purchases.  I'm trying to remind myself that we will have a whole month (or maybe a little less or more) after our "Yeah, Jack" party to buy all those things.  Also, I keep telling myself that if Jack came today, I'd send someone to Target for a couple packs of onesies and diapers--we'd be fine for survival mode.  Then there are some important things that I need, like a working thermometer (can anyone everrr find a good baby thermometer?); some things that would be convenient, like light-weight swaddling blankets, a swing, and a cushion for the rocking chair; and some things I simply want to be nice, like Jack's very own baby blanket, fitted sheets, and mobile.  So, yeah, in the world of survival mode, we're OK, so no reason to stress.  I might go baby shopping in a few days anyway because I have a 20% coupon to Kohl's and I haven't bought the babe much.  I just feel an itch to get a few little things--and I realistically only have a month or so left before I don't feel like moving at all anymore.

Spring Cleaning and Sleeting

The calendar says "spring," yet it is sleeting.  I suppose March is one of those months that can go either way weather-wise, but it seems that this winter simply won't call it quits.  The past few days, though, have been good for getting work done around the house.  Maybe it's the nesting, but, man,we've done a lot.

Chris is great about doing yard work.  He never complains and is rather proactive.  I always tell him that it can wait, but he does it anyway.  Our shed has a pergola, which looks nice, but it also had all of this... plant? ... growing on it.  In fact, the vine or whatever had gotten so out of control that it rotted the roof of our shed!  We knew when we moved in that we'd need to tackle it our first year here.  Over the past couple of weeks, Chris has been hacking at it by himself.  Then this weekend, my dad gave him an extra hand and got alllll of the growth down in less than an hour!  And next comes repairing the shed....  Oh man....

I've been trying to get the boys' rooms more personalized.  The rooms have been "together" for some time, but they didn't have any pictures on the walls.  To me, pictures are really what adds the final touch to a room.  I had Chris help me find the frames I needed for both Eliot's room and Jack's room.  Then began the fun game of measuring and leveling.  I'm not the best at hanging pictures in a line, but it sure drives me crazy when they're crooked.

I also hung these two pictures above Jack's crib.  I know it looks slanted on the left, but it's just because I didn't take the photo straight.  I have a couple more pictures to hang in Jack's room and then his room will be mostly complete.  We just need to order a cushion for the rocking chair (never got one with Eliot and reallyyyyy regretted it), find a place for Chris's surf board, and eventually buy the bedding for Jack.  Clothes are another story.

Then came the room I have been dreading.  I love to clean, but I am so bad at organizing.  I hate going through boxes of "stuff" that I don't know what to do with.  Chris has been encouraging me, though, that we should just tackle the room over the garage.  It's another "play room" of sorts for Eliot and guest bedroom when we have company (even though we don't have a bed for it...), so it has been easy to ignore over the past three months.  However, we finally did it!  I know this picture is dark (darn sleet) and non-descriptive, but that room used to be full of boxes.  Eventually I'd like to bring more life and function to it, but for now it just rather empty.  I'd like to get a couch of some kind or maybe a daybed for guests; at this point, we're just not looking to spend money on furniture that isn't really necessary.  I know some day it will be Eliot and Jack's video game room.

We recently bought ourselves some new sheets too.  All of our sheets had holes in them thanks to Dexter's puppy gnawing habit when we got him and were discolored.  I guess letting dogs sleep in bed with you kind of wears sheets down faster.  I think we last bought sheets around the time Eliot was born, so we were due.  These sheets were just $20, cheap ones from Target, and although they aren't the most comfortable ever, it really makes a difference to have new sheets.

 

 So, it has been gloomy outside, but we've been making the inside of our home pretty.  My heart is hoping for warmer days so much, in fact, that I bought that summer hammock I've been telling everyone about.  It was on sale half price, so I told Chris it could be my Easter present (not that we exchange Easter presents).  I have to justify everything that I buy for myself.  I will sit in that hammock forever--we're going to hang it under the shed's pergola by pool.  Yessss.

Style Attempts: Maternity Ed. 3. Bags

I'm not all that girl-y.  I'm not super into bags or purses, but I used to get excited to buy one new purse a year.  I don't really care about expensive brands, like Coach, but instead like "old granny" purses from Urban Outfitters or simple bags from Target.  I felt like I was indulging if I spent $40 on a bag.

When Eliot came around, I didn't want to get a really "baby"-looking diaper bag.  I mean, I didn't care if it looked like a diaper bag, but I didn't want one with pastel blue or teddy bears.  I picked out a simple, dark green bag online for about $15.  It worked, but I didn't love it.

I discovered Petunia Pickle Bottom.  They have the most gorgeous purses and diaper bags with beautiful patterns.  I drooled over these bags, but at $129, I had never spent that kind of money on a purse.  For my birthday that year, Chris really spoiled me.  He gave me the most expensive ($129), beautiful diaper bag I had ever seen.  I loved it!  My previous diaper bag became our "beach bag".

Prettiest bag ever, right?

The diaper bag had plenty of pockets and space so I could bring all of the essentials for Eliot and then some (sometimes I even carried along our clunky DSLR camera).  I was always getting compliments on my bag and it made a great accessory.  Let's be honest, though.  If you are using one bag every day with a child, eventually it is going to start showing some wear.  When Jack comes in July, my bag will be two years old.  That's pretty good for a bag, I think!

Chris offered to buy me a new Petunia Pickle Bottom bag for Christmas, but I said I wanted to wait.  I wanted to get a more spring-y pattern this time and figured it would be better to wait until my birthday in the summer.  I am using a diaper bag less anyway--I usually just put my wallet in my pocket and toss a diaper and wipes in the car.  If I am going somewhere for a while, I put some snacks in a tote bag.  Maybe it could be a "Jack is here!" present too.

If I could have two bags, I totally would get a new Petunia Pickle Bottom bag, but I decided to try something different this time.  With two little ones, I think I might need access to both of my hips more frequently, so I'm hoping to get something with a more messenger bag feel.  I actually came across Maranda Lee's Etsy shop when I was pregnant with Eliot, but the bag I liked sold out before I bought it--and I was feeling super cheap since we had to buy so many baby things.  These diaper bags (and purses) come in size options, including small, medium, and large, and start as low as $68 for the small diaper bag.  I'll probably look into a medium one because I don't need something too big (and I am small myself).  I love the fabric options, the pockets, and how it doesn't necessarily look like a diaper bag (you know, pastel blue with teddy bears).

I haven't gotten a new bag in so long, but I think I'm just going to wait so I can savor the excitement closer to when Jack comes.  And Petunia Pickle Bottom sells Ergo carriers with amazing patterns, so maybe I'll get one of those since I was planning to use an Ergo carrier this time.  Sometimes I feel silly oogling over baby things, but I rarely buy nice things for myself, so maybe it is OK to indulge in a few new, possibly expensive baby items with a new little one on the way, especially since we've had so little to buy for Jack since we are re-using so much from Eliot.  Three and a half more months til Jack gets here!  Can't waittt!

Just Because He's an Awesome Dad

I write a lot about Eliot, but little about myself and less about Christopher.

I have this whole kid raising thing easy.  My husband works from home, and, yeah, we both have to do work at the same time at points, but I always have a helper (and he always has a helper in me).  I can always shout from across the house, "Hey, can you grab me a diaper?"  No problem.  Don't feel like putting Eliot in his car seat?  Chris does it most of the time.

But more than helping throughout the day, Chris is an amazing dad to Eliot (and Jack too) in ways I just can't compete with.  Eliot comes to me for cuddles, but he knows Chris is the one always ready to play and can throw him in the air much higher.

Eliot requests to play football allll day, every day.  At 8:45 pm when we're just tired, he approaches Chris with football in hand, pointing at his back.  "Tackle me!  Tackle me!"  I can tell Chris is simply exhausted and wants to call all of the chasing a night, yet he gets up anyway and they're running through the house.  Eliot can always count on his dad.

I mentioned before that Eliot has been obsessed with this idea of driving the car lately.  He really thinks he has a license (or is unaware of this requirement and also the need to be able to reach the pedals).  There have been daily tantrums over this.  Yesterday, Chris let him play in the car even though I said it wouldn't end well.  But what do I know?  Eliot turned the steering wheel, adjusted the windshield wipes, and pressed buttons.  And then when Chris said it was over, it was fine.  Sometimes Daddy knows best.

Of course, there's more to being a good dad than playtime.  Chris spends lots of time with Eliot and takes him on one-on-one adventures, but he is actively involved in the less fun aspects of parenting too, like discipline, sleep transitioning, food preparation, and diapers.  If Chris is in the room, he offers to help me change every single diaper.  And if I know Eliot has a wet one to be changed and I ask, he does that too.  If Eliot is being a moody eater or asks for a smoothie, Chris is much more likely than me to jump up and create an amazing, yummy, nutritious smoothie with greens, fish oil, and fruit for Eliot.  Did I mention that Chris does almost all of the grocery shopping entirely by himself?

Chris is always trying to show Eliot the things he loves and then celebrates Eliot's unique interests too.  They've already ran two races together.  When Chris goes for a run, Eliot cries that he wants to run too--and Chris takes him in the jogger whenever it is warm enough.

p.s.  In the photo below, Chris won first place for his age group and tenth overall! Chris is too humble to tell anyone this, so I brag for him.

Chris is already a great dad for Jack too.  He makes sure I eat well; he encourages me to exercise and also rest.  He helped me pick out a good prenatal vitamin.  He reminds me to use cocobutter.  He listens to me complain and offers empathy.  I can't tell you how many times he has praised me and said how hard it is to be a woman (with all sincerity), which always makes me laugh (because he really means it and says Beyonce would back him up).  He feels Jack's kicks and checks up on how Jack is doing multiple times throughout the day.  He loves his boys, both of them, and is the best dad I could imagine for my boys.

Nothing makes me love him more than watching him love our sons.

We'll Get There

Eliot has been a happier boy today.  Looking back, Chris and I have both been very busy over the past couple of weeks with work.  B term courses had final grades due, C term was just at mid-term, and D term courses were starting, so we have been pulled in a lot of different directions with a lot of grading and work to do.  This weird collision of sub-terms happens twice a year.  Not only am I responsible for my grades, but also keeping up with my team of 25 professors as well.  I absolutely love my job; it is so rewarding in so many ways.  It's a dream job.  The reality is that working from home and raising a toddler takes balance.  I try to work when he is asleep, eating, or distracted, but sometimes we watch more tv than I'd like or he has to play by himself when he doesn't want to since I have deadlines.  And that is just life--he can't always get what he wants.  So, maybe he has been acting up a little more out of boredom too.

Eliot's sleep has been off even more than usual lately too.  We're having inconsistently late nights, waking up for an hour or more at a time in the middle of the night, and sometimes very early mornings.  It really wasn't his fault last night....  One of the dogs woke him up and he had a lot of trouble getting back to sleep.  And I didn't listen to his request for milk--surely, he would just go back to sleep, right?

He's a good boy with a sensitive heart.  He's been so "off" lately in so many different ways (sleeping, his eating habits even, and his little fits out of frustration), and I feel really bad that he is working through some toddler things, but I know he is learning and growing.  We'll get there, him and me (and Chris too).

Toddler Tantrums: Worst Parent Ever?

Eliot is such a sweet, kind, caring boy.  He loves to give affection.  I never thought he'd have meltdowns.  Lately, though, I feel like I can't take him anywhere.  His behavior hasn't been this atrocious since he got his first year molars in.  Hmm...

It starts off well.  Today we went to the mall.  I haven't bought myself shoes in a year.  It is growing more difficult for me to tie my shoes, so I thought I'd get myself some new slip-on Vans.  I have one pair of Toms that I usually wear, but they are too tight.  Eliot was a doll in the store.  He loves riding the escalator.  He walked and held our hands in the mall.  He also HAD to hold the keys, but that's OK.

Then we were feeling a little hungry, so we got lunch.  Eliot was curious about the food and played with his lunch with a fork, but didn't eat.  First sign of trouble...  Afterward, we went to the play area to let him run around.  He was having so much fun, but when he seemed to be fine with leaving, we left.  As soon as we stepped out of the play area, we ran into sign of trouble number two:  those darn cars that you ride for a quarter.  I wasn't going to start with that--it was crowded, I didn't have any change, and I knew he would never be happy about leaving.  He got in one, pressed a couple of buttons, and then we left.  He screamed, but I thought we'd be all right if we got away.

Chris took Eliot to Barnes and Noble to look at books.  Eliot loved the books and wanted them all.  We hadn't bought him a book in a while, so we picked out a couple.  One on cars, one for the alphabet (I've been trying to work more on letters), and a Dinosaur Train coloring book.  Chris went to pay while I kept reading him books.  More trouble when it was time to leave....  He wanted all of the books and didn't want to pay for them.  I got down to his level and looked him in the eye.  I try to give him the words:  "Eliot, you're angry because you like books.  You want to keep the books.  I like you liking books, but Daddy bought you three books.  You just can't have these books right here, but we bought you three nice books that you can look at out there."  I know you can't negotiate with meltdown-ers, but I find sometimes that engaging with him calms him down and maybe giving him the words can help him recognize the emotions he's feeling.

It didn't work this time.  He cried and carried on.  We carried him to the car; we let him walk to the car; we let him CARRY A BOOK to the car.  When I thought we had calmed him down, he wanted to sit on the escalator, which couldn't happen and it all started again.  Everything helped for a second, but then he'd be a wailing ball of tears and attracting everyone's glares all around us.  Yep, that's my kid.  Yep, I'm the worst parent ever.

We made it to the car.  I gave him a snack.  He refused to eat it.  Not even three minutes later, he was eating his snack.  He was hungry....  While it wasn't nap time yet, I am noticing that he has these meltdowns if we are out within a couple hours of nap time.  And it is usually around lunch time (and I do offer him food, but he won't accept it....).

We got home.  It was another fight getting him inside.  He thinks he can drive the car and tries to get in every time we get home.  Instead, I sack-of-potatoes carry him inside.  He cries more.  Chris puts him in time out to calm down while I make a smoothie for him and myself.  He demands mine; I say they are the same; he doesn't believe me.  I let him try mine and then he concludes (as I said) that he'd prefer his own.  Chris reads a book to him....  Eliot chases the dogs around and I take him to bed for a nap even though he says he isn't tired.  It is now 2:30 pm at this point--two hours straight of meltdown after meltdown.

It's like over night, he has been having some fits at home too.  We thought it'd be fun to go for a walk.  He loves running.  We were having a great time, but every time we'd pass a house with a basketball goal, he thought he could go play with it.  Not only are these not our basketball goals, but he didn't have a ball and is too small anyway.  We tried to keep going, but he'd just keep screaming for the basketball goal even when we told him he could play with his at home.  Eventually, we had to carry him home in tears.  And then there's the garage....  Currently, our shed needs work, so our garage has a lot of not-baby-friendly items.  And it also has a bag of sports balls.  Eliot unlocks the garage door and goes in there to get every single ball.  When we tell him to come back inside (it is cold out there, too!), he just loses it and cries at the door.  Man!  He just can't be out there all the time!  And there's the car thing--he gets the keys, unlocks the front door, and says, "Bye bye, Ma.  Car ride."  When I tell him he can play with the keys, but he is NOT going to drive my car, he loses it.  I'm sorry, but that just isn't up for negotiation.  Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy by not leaving the house and then I feel like we can't leave the house either because of his fits.

Eliot threw his first tantrum in the grocery store over a tomato (which he thought was a ball) when he was a year and a half-ish.  So, I've been dealing with these fits for about nine months?  I still feel embarrassed when it happens in public.  Everyone stares....  I try to keep in mind that most of those people have been in the same place, so they probably aren't judging me.  Some people smile with sympathy.  And whenever I see a kid acting up, I always feel bad for the parent's awkward position. 

I feel like Chris and I are pretty giving parents.  We try to do fun things, provide Eliot with the best, and make sacrifices for his well-being.  I know he doesn't understand, but I feel so frustrated when we try to do something fun (like go for a walk or buy books) and Eliot has tantrums over things I can't control.  I always put him and his needs firsts.  Why does he hateeee me?

He knows what he wants and loves to explore.  He wants to try everything.  He's independent and won't take my word on things--he has to know from his experience for sure.  And when I tell him that he can't, he doesn't understand why.  I guess we need to do more time outs and give him a place to cool down.  Of course, I feel guilty like I'm the one to blame, like I haven't disciplined him enough or I'm not reacting to his tantrums the right way.  I usually try to remove him from the situation and ignore him or I try to get on his level to give him the words.  Sometimes distracting him helps.  I'm just thankful that he isn't hitting, kicking, or biting (yet?).  Does this ever end?  Because I feel like it is getting worse....