Life Lately and Trying My Best

Time goes by so quickly with babies.  When you're pregnant, you're warned of this constantly.  I've always done a decent job of soaking up the "now" and not wishing my days and weeks and years away.  Still, Jack has changed so much so quickly that I feel his baby days slipping away from me.

I'm trying to enjoy every day, and sometimes that is hard with Eliot constantly testing the boundaries.  It's hard to enforce the "rules" the best with both consistency and grace, and I often go to bed feeling like a horrible person since it is easier to either let Eliot get away with climbing the shelves in the pantry or to yell at him when I'd rather be more "calm and firm" with discipline.  But, you know, we have a lot of fun too.  This week, we went to the zoo in Norfolk.  I took the boys to the petting zoo with my mom.  It has been so hot lately for fall that we haven't done the park much.  Maybe next week.  At the end of the day, I tuck Eliot in bed after he has run around the house like a crazy, super clumsy person for about an hour, and I am reminded of how incredibly sweet and kind-hearted he has always been.  I hope I show him how much I appreciate him....

 

 Over the past few weeks, Jack's personality already began to bud.  He smiles; he laughs; he makes clear eye contact; he blows his lips; he makes the best facial expressions.  And though he hates the car, he is generally pretty happy and full of smiles.

Then today he has been kind of fussy.  Wanting to eat more than usual and offering up some rather shrill cries.  About a week ago, I thought I felt a tooth on his gums.  No way, right?  I didn't say anything about it.  A couple of days ago, Chris mentioned the same thing.  Upon further inspection, I can see the tooth coming up.  He really is teething already at three months....  Eliot didn't teeth until he was six months old, so I wasn't expecting this at all.  Of course, it could take a while for the tooth to break through all the way.

Some days are harder than others as I try to give them all I have.  Some days, I think I really nailed it.  Other days, I hate the sound of my own voice.  But, I think most moms worry about doing enough or the right thing, and I think the fact that I am concerned is probably a good sign.  Tonight, Jack cried for hours before finally going to sleep while Eliot seemed like he was trying to get a dog to bite him.  Finally, I got them both to sleep and no one got hurt.  My Saturday night was probably a lot less exciting than most people's.  I didn't come away feeling defeated.  Instead, I feel so thankful and full of love.  I want to give these little guys all I have because they deserve my best and so much more.