Life Lately

I've been rather quiet on here lately.  I've kept a blog for 15 years, but these days I have barely cracked my laptop open unless it is for work or to maybe edit a couple of photos quickly.

We've kept rather busy, though.

We've had a few projects going on.  One day, after letting Eliot sleep on his mattress on our floor for six months (after co-sleeping for two years), I asked him if he wanted to sleep in his own room.  He said he would.  That was two weeks ago, I think, and he has spent every night since in his room.  It went smooth, then rough, and now OK again.  He asks to sleep in our bed most every night, but we've been consistent.  We let him come get in our bed in the morning, though, which I think is a nice compromise.

Having Jack has only served to affirm my beliefs that Eliot is and has always been a particularly bad sleeper.  Jack already sleeps better than Eliot does.  Jack has the ability to soothe himself to sleep.  He usually sleeps for four hours, nurses, and then sleeps for two hours twice.  Eliot, on the other hand, still wakes up every two hours.  I try to let him put himself back to sleep, but I usually have to go in and lay him down.

I've been trying to hold onto our dwindling summer.  "Summer" for me seems to have just started since Jack is seven weeks old and I newly received my "pass" from the doctor to swim and exercise again.  However, I still have only gone swimming once....  Our pool doesn't get that warm since our backyard is so shaded, and I always feel the need to be hanging out with Jack instead, especially since he eats about on the hour still.

Jack and Eliot are still doing great together.  Jack is really fascinated by Eliot and just stares at him.  The "newness" of Jack hasn't worn off for Eliot, and he likes to try to play with Jack, which usually ends in me squirming and holding myself back from telling Eliot to back up.  I worry about Eliot piling too many cars on Jack, yet I don't want to discourage him from loving his brother.

Sometimes I really, really worry that I am not paying Jack the right or same amount of attention that I gave Eliot.  With Eliot, I would hold him and stare at him all day.  All of my energy and attention was on him.  However, with Jack, I find myself needing to multitask more.  I would love to just cuddle him all day, but I have a toddler now too, so I have to keep moving.  Here's the thing with Jack....  He would rather lay down and kick his legs than be held all the time.  Sure, he likes to cuddle too, but he likes to look around, explore, and move move move.  So if I need to throw lunch together, I feel guilty, but he is happy laying down by himself.  In about a week, he will be two months old, and he has grown, changed, and stepped into an individual so much already.