What I Did on My Birthday, or Take Heed and Take Care

I didn't have much special planned for my birthday.  I wasn't expecting anything; I didn't really want anything either.  Chris's parents were in town for his grandma, so we had lunch with them downtown and saw them off to Woodbridge.  It is really nice to be around family on birthdays.  Somehow, I always end up seeing his parents or mine on my birthday.  Chris also bought me two bunches of flowers and a card.

We spent the day a little on edge.  My grandma has been in the hospital again due to a minor physical issue, but this time around (thank God), they finally noticed that something wasn't right mentally.  My family has been trying to have her evaluated for a long time without much success.  They even got her in a doctor's office once, but it blew up in their faces and she ended up not talking to anyone in the family for a few months.  We were all noticing extreme paranoia, overly-excessive forgetfulness, mood swings, and so on.  With her recent hospital stay, though, they finally had the chance to alert someone about the issues we've all been worrying about--the fact that she called the police from her hospital bed to say her nurses were trying to kill her didn't help her case for being OK.  So, she has been evaluated and will be re-evaluated at another place with a specialist.

Over the past five years, my grandma would go from living with my parents, to then living with my aunt, to then getting angry with everyone and moving home with her boyfriend.  She has said very hurtful things about all of us at different times as well as the nicest things at other times.  I jokingly attributed it to too many Lifetime movies, boredom, a hate for men, and a love for the dramatic.  I think we all felt very hurt, but maybe some of it she couldn't help.  Maybe deep down, she loved us, but she was confused and scared.  All of us loved her too and just wanted to take care of her, yet she wouldn't have it.

If I wasn't already thoughtful about life on my birthday, this event threw me over the top.  I feel bad for my mom (and aunt).  I feel bad for my grandma.  Watching this all unfold, it seems to me that people should go into a retirement home when they still can make rational decisions.  Clearly, this isn't an easy decision, and it is hard to leave home.  Either that or trust your children, give them power of attorney, and tell them what you want to happen.  Not everyone has trustworthy kids; however, you have to set everything up for yourself while you still can before it is too late.

My mom puts everyone before herself--even people who spit in her face.  I know she will continue to do everything she can to take care of my grandmother.  I know my grandmother isn't going to be left alone and the doctors are just trying to get her the right care.  So, please say a prayer for my mom, aunt, and grandmother if you think about them.