Dear Jack: Two Years, Four Months

Dear Jack,

This month, we made a new move for you. A while ago when we were on vacation in the Outer Banks, you figured out this cool trick where you could CRAWL OUT OF YOUR PORTACRIB. Well, that was terrifying. And I knew it was only a matter of time before you applied those portacrib escape skills to your regular crib. Sure enough, when we returned home, you were shimming that foot over the side and escaping like it was nobody's business. So, we transitioned your crib to a toddler bed. That was all well and good for a while until you kept crawling on top of Eliot's top bunk bed over and over again. Uh oh. I was so afraid that you were going to get hurt, so we unbunked them and put one in your room. So, now you are officially in a twin-sized bed!

Your biggest change this month was starting school! You are going to the same school as Eliot once a week for a few hours as part of a Parents' Morning Out program. You are more independent than Eliot and I think the fact that you have seen Eliot go to school there has helped, but you did really well. You were not so sure for the first couple of weeks, but you barely fuss anymore. I think it's good for you to get some extra play time with other kids and it will make your transition to preschool easier next year. I had a rough time with it at first. I really wrestled with the idea of sharing you--I didn't quite feel ready. You are doing wonderful, and I am confident that it was the right choice.

You've really gotten into painting since you started school as well. I let you do water colors at home somtimes, but you get to use all kinds of paint at school. When you come home, you try to get in your backpack and say, "Paint! Paint!" You have brought a painting home to show me.

One of your favorite activities is exploring with flashlights. You like to take them in the dark hall, in the closets, in the laundry room--anywhere that is dark. Sometimes we take flashlights to the beach at night to look for crabs.

This semester, I have been teaching twice a week at the community college during your naptime. I hate to say good-bye and you cry at the door when I'm trying to leave, but then we have the best cuddles when you wake up from your nap. You are always either so amazingly happy or angry, going so fast and snuggling up, extremely attentive or totally uninterested. It's always one way or the other, and I am so thankful that I get enjoy all of your love and affection still even as you grow from a toddler to a boy.

Dear Jack: Two Years, Three Months

Dear Jack,

At two years and three months, you are our adventurous son. You are always ready to go exploring in the woods or paddling. Recently, we bought a kayak, and while Eliot is always nervous, you get so excited to ride in the boat. I was surprised how well you did (and how you didn't tip us over). You just sit in my lap and let me paddle as you look around.

You are still our wild child. I think sometimes that you were meant to be raised by wolves. When we go to the zoo, you just want to chase the geese and peacocks. I always wondered what you would do if you caught them. Well, apparently you would throw things at them. Sigh. It is tough wrangling you and your brother, but you have a lot of fun.

Still, you must be civilized to a certain degree because you recently have gotten super stoked on accessorizing with hats. You love hats! You want a hat with every outfit. Your head is a little on the big side, so we had to buy new ones since Eliot didn't have any hand-me-downs to offer. It works out well, though, because your skin is so light that wearing a hat helps protect your face. The hats also tend to make you look like a teenager, which is weird.

You have become an absolute pro at getting your hair cut. You get so much practice because I need to get your hair cut every four weeks, but I try to push it to six. Your hair grows so fast and it is so fine (still like baby hair), so it quickly turns into a mullet. I'm not about to let that happen.

This summer has been amazing with you. We have had a blast splashing in the pool, and you just sit on the steps playing until someone can help you jump off the side (over and over and over for all eternity). We've explored the woods. We've eaten icecream and crushed ice. You love the beach and chase the waves while screaming. We feed the seagulls and, of course, chase them too to give them their exercise. You collect shells and give them to me for safe keeping. Fall is just around the corner and you'll be going to a Parents' Morning Out program once a week, but for now (right now) it's just the four of us finding new adventures every day.

Small Childhood Wonders and Mystery

One of my favorite parts of having babies is watching them slowly become aware of their surroundings. That awareness grows to wonder. They find amazement in the little things that we take for granted. A blade of grass. A bird flying overhead. Bubbles. Even the TV remote.

As we grow older, we lose our fascination. I think we're too busy. Our lives are flooded with technology. Everyone says it all the time. And my boys like playing on the iPad and they watch a lot of Wild Kratts and Eliot is unbelievably great at puzzles in Lego games on the Wii. It worries sometimes to see them get so "plugged in," so I try to maintain a balance.

One of my hopes as a parent is to fill up their hearts with memories of an enchanting childhood. I hope to help them hold onto that curiosity and amazement with the world. I must keep that wonder alive as long as possible. I love to watch them interact with the world around them. Of course, going on adventures together helps maintain our bond between the family members. There's so much more to it, though. Children learn through seeing, touching, and experiencing. I see Eliot cup a baby goat's face in his hands, but he's doing more than just having a good time. He's touching on our family's past.

I'm not a scientist by any means, but I try to help them with little experiments when I see opportunities. We collect bugs in the backyard. They help us in the gardens. I bought some geodes for a few dollars off of Amazon and we cracked them together to look at the crystals inside. We collect shells, sandfiddlers, and sea glass at the beach.

Entwined with the attempts to scientifically explain the world stands perhaps an even more intriguing perspective: the mystery all around us. There is so much that cannot be explained, and that's where their exploration and new discoveries take root. As I let the boys run free on the beach or explore a peach orchard, their imaginations grow. Eliot develops storylines about what we're doing or where we are going. He digs in the dirt for dinosaur bones. He is always playing some form of pretend. I try to encourage creativity whenever possible. Growing older, I feel my imagination only decreasing, so I hope to build them up while at a young age and perhaps it will last them a lifetime. In college, I would read literature and hear one of my professors say, "You can't write what you don't know." Maybe if I give them many experiences, they will know many things. And maybe they will be able to write better than I can. One of Eliot's favorite activities is writing stories that I transcribe and he then draws the pictures. Jack is developing storylines with his toys better and better each day. His dinosaurs do more than just fight now. Imagination can encourage abstract thinking, which is of course is important in so many areas of life.

My prayer is that they carry some of this, just some, with them, even if they don't realize it. I hope that they at least grow up and have great memories of us all together.

Creativity has to be grown; it can't be taught.

Drifting Summer Days

This summer has been such a relief. In the winter and spring, I taught a heavy adjunct load at the community college and also taught my full load online. I loved being back in the classroom and also tried a lot of new approaches online. I do love my job--and I'm so glad that I can say that. The weeks were going by fast, though, with Eliot having both swim lessons and soccer twice a week (back-to-back, even, on Thursdays) on the days that I didn't go in to teach. I felt like we were running, running, running. So, having the summer to just teach online and consider my syllabi at the community college has been really nice.

We've gone to the beach so much. We got into kayaking. We splashed in our pool. We did so much gardening. Our backyard truly has grown into a jungle, tropical oasis. I love it.

In two weeks, I start back up at the community college and fall classes will also begin online. I am just teaching one course residentially, twice a week opposed to three times a week, so I know the schedule will be much more calm. And I will have most of my lessons all planned out, so I will not need as much preparation. Then in about a month, Eliot will start school. He is doing pre-K4, and I'm nervous yet excited for him. It took a long time for him to get in a groove last fall. He would cry a lot when I dropped him off, but I think he just needed to make some friends. After a couple of months, we would tell me all about his friends at school. He'll also be starting soccer again in the fall. He'll be one of the older kids this season, so it will be fun to watch him grow in his skills. I thought about enrolling Jack in the Parents Morning Out Program at Eliot's school, and I might still, but I just don't feel quite ready to let him go yet. Summer has been great, and sometimes I wish it could last forever, but I am looking forward to parts of the fall. Parts of it. ;)

Chris and I have been trying to set up a game plan to survive winter. All year, Chris tracks the weather and follows reports of speculations regarding what kind of winter we might have. It sounds like possibly very wet, but maybe not abnormally cold like the past two winters have been. That can be OK. The palms like water, but not ice and super low temps below 20. I don't like temps below 20 either. Part of plan, though, is to attempt to travel. I say "attempt" because we have never been good at it. We have been promising ourselves an island trip for years--since before we even discussed getting pregnant with Eliot. We always get close and say, "Well, maybe next year." I have so many regrets about not throwing caution to the wind and just going more often. And now that the boys can indeed survive with grandparents without us (and do so happily), hopefully Chris and I will bring ourselves to booking a trip, just the two of us, to someplace special in the winter (December/January). And we might maybe perhaps push ourselves to go somewhere warm with the boys later in winter (maybe in February or March). When Jack was nine months old, we drove to Florida. That was our last vacation other than the Outer Banks with Chris's family. Before that, when Eliot was a year and a half (three years ago), we went to Myrtle Beach. We forced ourselves to go because we were going crazy after my miscarriage. So, yes, it took a miscarriage for us to make ourselves travel. And before that was my and Chris's honeymoon to Florida eight years ago. There were some professional development and work trips for conferences here and there for a few days before we had kids, but no other vacations. Yeah, we haven't traveled much.

The boys left on Thursday for a long weekend with their grandparents in northern Virginia. Chris's mom and sister came for a couple of days, and as they were walking out the door, Jack grabbed his shoes and demanded to go with them. So, they said OK and we threw a couple of bags together last minute. And off they went. This is my second time away from Jack and I think Eliot's fourth time away. It feels so strange without them. I miss them so much, but I am glad that they love their grandparents. As Eliot was leaving, he kept saying, "I will miss you, but I will have fun with Mawmaw and Elizabeth and Granddad." It's a good balance.

While the boys have been gone, Chris and I were able to work and clean guilt-free. We would sleep past 6:00 am, I'd go for a run, and then we'd work for a few hours. I cleaned out and washed both of the cars--that took three hours, but they look awesome. Then Chris and I would try to do something fun together and go out for dinner. We don't take the kids to restaurants, really, so we've had a chance to check out some places we had heard about. We went kayaking off Old Pungo Ferry Road, which I suppose is the North Landing River? I don't know, but as a teenager, I would always drive over the bridge and show my friends how awesome the view was, exclaiming that it looked like Lion King. When I later learned that the water was accessible, I dreamed of finding a way to get a boat out there. Well, we finally put the kayak in and it.was.awesome. So many osprey. A little bit of a current and mostly quiet--just a couple of jet skis and boats. Chris had read that this area can get "busy," so he didn't want to take the boys there until we checked it out ourselves. It seems like a great place to take them.

While it has been nice being able to "get things done" without leaving the boys to their own devices or having Chris watch them, I am so excited to get them back today. It feels empty without them. I miss Eliot's commentary on everything and Jack, our little Bam-bam, running around excitedly.

I'm feeling all kinds of emo with about a month of summer days left. I ordered Eliot's school clothes since I found a sale, and I'm thinking about how he will be turning five in the winter. That makes me sad, yet he's such a fun a kid. I don't want to lose him. This summer has been great. It will be a sad day when the first frost comes and knocks out the banana trees and elephant ears until the return next spring. I measure the seasons and year in my plants. Maybe I'll plant a fall garden to keep myself going.

Dear Jack: Two Years, Two Months

Dear Jack,

I knew it would come to this. I knew you would grow up fast after turning two--faster than your brother did. He held onto many "baby" habits, but you have always been in a hurry to catch up with him. You've always been more independent and more grown in that way.

I feel like you have checked most "big boy" tasks off the list other than starting school, which won't be for another year. I am happy, though, that you still are so very sweet to me and love to cuddle, especially in the morning. While we call you Bam-bam since you are a little wild one, you have picked up saying "sorry" whenever I tell you that you have hurt me, which is mostly on accident. I can't stay mad. And when I begin to fuss at you to correct you, you have started blowing kisses.

For a while, I was unsure of what to say were your favorite things because you go with the flow and love whatever your brother loves. As you have grown more vocal, I can say for certain what you love now. You are absolutely nuts for the tv show Wild Kratts in which the Kratt brothers activate their creature power suits to save animals. When I turn on the tv, you point and say "that" until their show is on the menu, and then you yell, "Rat rat rat!" You try to sing the theme song and hit your chest to activate your creature power. You are so enthusiastic about it. Fortunately, your brother loves the show too, so you guys could watch it all day. Also, you and Eliot have recently started loving Shaun the Sheep. You picked it out randomly because you saw it and love farm animals. And somehow we ended up watching it over and over for three days. You love to "cock-a-doodle-doo" with the rooster as the show begins and ask for it by saying, "Baaa!"

I've been working with you on swimming and holding your breath underwater. I'm sure you won't be swimming fully any time soon, but I am trying to help you not be afraid of holding your breath and putting your face in the water. You don't quite seem to like it (I know I don't without a mask), but you are doing it.

You have always seemed to be in a hurry to grow up, and I suppose I will have to let your baby side go. I will have to accept that I cannot (and will not) hold you as the baby forever. However, for now, you are still a child. You are still a boy. Your eyes are still filled with wonder. You are still bright and happy almost all of the time. You still hold my hand happily. You're still mine, and I will cherish this time for all that it is.

Dear Jack: Two Years, One Month

Dear Jack,

After you turned two last month, you suddenly decided that you were a big boy. Out of nowhere, you started climbing out of your crib. At first, it was your portacrib on vacation. You were so proud to show us how you put your foot up on the ledge and pulled yourself out. I knew we only had a matter of time before you moved this over to your regular crib. Sure enough, a couple of days later, we had to convert your crib to a toddler bed. Getting you to sleep just got a lot more complicated. You think it is so cool to get out of bed. It takes about an hour to get you to sleep.

You're growing into quite our little adventurer. You love playing in the water at the beach, especially when Daddy helps you "swim" over the crashing waves. We tried kayaking with you, and you sat so still and great. Sometimes you go in the garage and just sit in the kayak because you want to go paddling.

I'm holding tight onto these baby months. Every morning, you wake up and come looking for me. I get you a yogurt smoothie for breakfast and we settle into the couch to watch Wild Kratts, your favorite show. Then you are up and ready to tear apart the house. I treasure our mornings together, just you and me. I keep reminding myself that we just have maybe five more months left of you being a baby. You will turn into a boy right before our eyes and much less "baby" once you are two and a half months. And I bet the seasons changing and the simple act of putting jeans on you will make you seem to grow a year. It's hard to let go of you as a baby sometimes, but I just try to look at all of the fun new stages we will go through and all of the "big kid" activities you will enjoy.

Speaking of Wild Kratts, I am thankful that you and Eliot currently share one favorite show instead of having to argue about what we watch. Whenever I turn on the TV, you point and say, "Rat-rat!" for Wild Kratts. If I take too long putting it on, you say, "No. That." Eliot has decided that you two are going to be the Kratt brothers for Halloween and I guess that works. I am just glad that you will be matching--I think that is so cute--even if no one will know who you are.

This month, you had your second trip "away" from us. Your Mawmaw and Elizabeth were heading home from a visit when your brother said he wanted to go home with them. You were not about to be left behind and really wanted to go too. So, we quickly packed you a bag and you spent a couple of nights at your grandparents' house. I always feel so nervous with you away, but you love your grandparents and I know you have your brother with you too. I'm glad that you are so independent. It makes me feel like maybe I did something right, although it is probably just your personality type. I was so happy to get you back home!

We love you, Jack. I love experiencing life with you and through your eyes. From peach picking to blowing bubbles to building forts, you show me the wonder of our world.

Eliot at Four and a Half

There's so much to say about Eliot at four and a half! He's always saying something hilarious or crazy or sassy or sweet.

He's grown into such a big boy lately. Sometimes when I hold him or pick him up, he feels so large in my arms and nearly the same size as me. I find the whole situation absurd. With his "big boy"-ness, he has become more capable. He swims and flips underwater. He does cannon balls. He retrieves toys from the bottom. He swims through people's legs and hoops in the pool. He can touch the bottom of the deep end. Once with Chris's help, Eliot touched the bottom of my parents' deep end, which is eight feet. I wrote about before how he did an awesome job in spring soccer, especially compared to last fall.

With sports, he has gotten to be quite competitive. He wants to win all the time, so I am trying to teach him to lose gracefully or to accept that he is not always the best, but he did well for himself. In the spring, he ran a kids' 1k race with Chris where they finished on the football field. It really was a beautiful moment to see them running together and finishing up. He was pretty convinced that he "won," so he was happy with himself.

Eliot's favorite shows include Wild Kratts and Jurassic Park. He really wanted to see Jurassic World in theaters, but loud noises bother him a great deal, so we will wait until it comes out on DVD. He frequently asks when Jurassic World is coming to our TV. Since we couldn't see JW in theaters, I bought him a Lego Jurassic Park game for the Wii. It plays out all four of the Jurassic movies. I fully expected that I would have to play it for him and he would watch as if it were a movie, but he picked up quickly how to play. And he beat the whole game--all four movies. I couldn't believe it. This kid had played on the iPad, but never on a game system.

Eliot also loves going to the beach and exploring in the woods. He loves to pretend he is a dinosaur or is hunting dinosaurs all the time. Even when I'm driving down the road, he pretends that raptors are attacking our car. We are always pretending something. He is growing in his creativity by writing stories. He comes up with the story, I write the words, and then he illustrates the books.

Looking back on how he has grown and changed over time, I have to say that we are making progress. He generally listens pretty well and only whines or throws fits if things aren't going according to his plan or if I tell him he can't have something, like a new toy or game on the iPad. To help with this, we set up a sticker and chore system in which he can earn money by helping out around the house. At the same time, if he throws a fit, he will lose a sticker (or dollar).

Eliot makes for an amazing big brother. He wants to be with Jack all the time. Most of their conflicts are limited to when Jack wants to destroy something Eliot is building or when Jack decides to start wrestling when Eliot doesn't want to. General little bro v. big bro stuff. They really do love playing together, though, and it is a beautiful (and hilarious) relationship to watch.