From a Toddler to a Boy: Pre-School and Soccer

We have finished our first week of preschool, and even though it was only two days due to Labor Day (Eliot goes Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays), I feel like we really accomplished something. I have to say that I love this new stage that we've entered!

Eliot obviously hasn't been a toddler for a while, but I feel like we've stepped into a new world of him being a big boy. He's doing such big things. When I look at him, he doesn't look like a three-year-old; he seems like a four-year-old, which he will be in about four months (eek!).

Monday morning, we got up and I made breakfast. We took our time getting ready, and I felt sick to my stomach with nerves. I was afraid he would cry when I left. I was afraid he'd have accidents since he was in a new place. I was afraid he wouldn't eat.

Eliot was nervous, but excited. His teachers are really sweet and I felt at ease leaving him there. Then I took Jack to my mom's house to be watched so I could work. I went home and worked for a while. The three hours went by quickly and it was time to get the little guy. I walked in and saw him sitting on the floor with the other kids. When he noticed me, his eyes lit up, he ran to me, and he gave me the biggest hug. I was so glad to see him. His teacher said he did well! In the car, he sang songs they sang, said they made handprints with paint, and told about how he was the leader of the playground (not sure if I believe that one all the way--he might have thought he was the leader). All of my worries were put to ease. No accidents. He ate his snack. No tears.

I wanted to make it a special day for him, so Chris and I offered to take him to lunch. He just wanted a slurpee and a donut. When we got home, he lay on the floor with Chris and cuddled. He is such a sweetheart.

Later that evening, it was time for his first soccer practice. We had a super busy day. He did really well as they worked on passing, dribbling, and kicking goals. I'm not saying he was a soccer star (I mean, he is three), but he did great listening to directions, which was my biggest concern. The team had to pick a name, so earlier in the week I had told him to try to think of a team name. At first, he said Godzilla. I told him that the other kids probablyyyy wouldn't like Godzilla like he does. His second suggestion was Dinosaur. When the coach asked for name ideas at practice, he yelled, "DINOSAUR!" Two of the other boys agreed while a girl teammate wanted to be The Ballerinas and another boy wanted to be The Thunder (which would have been so cool too). In the end, they decided to be The Dinosaurs. Ha.

On Thursday, Eliot slept until almost 8:00 am, which is crazy for him. He was worn out. We relaxed around the house and played for a while. In the afternoon, we had lunch at Panera and bought some more soccer shorts for Eliot. After such an eventful Wednesday, it was nice to re-group. In the evening, though, Eliot started saying that he didn't want to go to school the next day. He said he wouldn't have fun.

Come morning, Eliot still insisted that he didn't want to go to school. I wasn't liking this change and worried that it was here to stay. When it was time to get him dressed, though, he went along with it and didn't complain at all. I dropped him off and he didn't say anything negative. When I picked him up, I got another big hug, which made me so happy. The teacher said she wanted to take him home with her and that he was very sweet. It's true. He's so kind and affectionate. Eliot sang me more songs and told me about his day.

Eliot hasn't been a baby for a while, but now that is doing such "big boy" activities, I feel like it is an affirmation that he is growing into a great kid. Sometimes working from home, I feel like our days lack structure that most people are used to. We have so many possibilities every morning, and I have worked hard to establish a clear time for Chris and I to work (sometimes taking turns) while also taking care of the kids. It's a balance between work and fun that we must re-visit from time to time. With Eliot in pre-school and doing soccer, he has more activities to keep him entertained. It's only been a few days, but I love how he has grown more independent and can do things without me around all the time. I like having these events to look forward to. I love watching he become an individual while also playing with kids his age.

Growing Boys

I feel like I should save some of this for Jack's eight-month letter in about a week, but so much has been changing for the boys lately.

Eliot had his three-year well visit the other day.  I'm happy to say that he is on track with everything.  They even gave him a vision test, which he did well on.  I'm pretty relieved about that because I got my first pair of glasses when I was six.  Chris's vision is perfect, but it is still something I know I will need to look out for with the boys.

I'm always just slightly concerned about Eliot's weight because he is such a skinny little dude.  He eats decent and what I call "moody," but the doctor said his weight (and BMI) are absolutely fine.  And he's still rather tall too.

Part of the reason for the visit was to fill out some forms for school....  This fall, we will be enrolling Eliot in preschool.  He will be three years and eight months.  It seems a ways off, so my brain is OK with it, but they're already starting applications.  This way, Eliot will have two years of pre-school before kindergarten.  I want to give him every advantage I can.  He is smart, creative, imaginative, and so sweet.  I am hopeful that pre-school will help him to blossom socially and intellectually in ways that I find limitations.  It will break my heart to say good-bye to him and send him off into the cycle of "schooling" that will continue for the next fifteen years (or longer since he will be going to college--no arguments).  It won't be easy, but it will be so good for him.  And it's only three days a week for three hours.

Something just happens to babies after six months.  Maybe it is the inevitable mobility.  Maybe it is some cognitive developmental milestones.  I don't know all the way, but Jack has become Jack lately.  He has clear interests.  His personality is so clear.  And he looks like such a big boy.  No wonder:  he is mostly wearing 12-month clothes.  I was going through some of Eliot's old shorts....  The 18 month shorts fit Jack so much better than the 12 month shorts!  Ah!

Jack has always loved baths.  I usually give Jack and Eliot a bath together.  Then I take Jack out to get him dressed while I let Eliot continue to play.  Well, tonight Jack crawled from the den, around the corner, down the hall, and into the bathroom in attempts of getting back in the tub with Eliot, giggling all the way.  He did this three times....  He is just crazy about water.  So cute.

It isn't always easy being the best that I can for these two boys.  Most of the time, they both need something at the same time and I feel pulled in various directions.  Oftentimes, one of them is upset about something.  Sometimes they're both upset at the same time.  I try to find the right balance.  I try to not get tired or impatient or discouraged.  Getting out and about more often has helped a lot, even if getting out results in Jack crying because he's mad about cars existing or Eliot is upset because he wants to stay home to pet the cat.  I think we're all cooped up....  And the sun coming back has been awesome too.  I love watching them together.  I love sharing the world with them.

Life Lately and Potty Training

Life has been rather quiet lately, and I have been feeling cooped up.  We are working on potty training, so we have tried not to go out and about too much in efforts to remain consistent.

Tuesday was Eliot's third birthday (ahhh!), and since we already had his party, we wanted to do some little special outings.  I took him to his soccer class in the morning where he behaved the worst he ever has (go team...).  Afterward, we had lunch at Qudoba so he could get guacamole and chips, which he thinks he gets every week after soccer.  Then we went to Target to pick up some groceries, a birthday toy, and a birthday bag of Cheetos.  After dinner, we drove out to get him a donut for dessert.  During this car ride, Jack screamed the whole time, Eliot tried to comfort Jack, and our dog yelped and whined (he has been in a lot of mysterious pain lately, so we brought him with us to avoid having him stressing out with us leaving--that plan backfired).  It was stressful to say the least, and I think we were all ready for bed when we got home, but, ya know, maybe car rides at night just aren't a good idea anymore with Jack.

Potty training has been going the best it has yet.  It is our third attempt.  Chris asked me a few times if we were the worst parents ever since our almost three-year-old refused to use the potty.  Before I had kids, I honestly figured I'd have my future children potty trained by two or two and a half.  Three seemed so late.  But, really, kids are so different.  Eliot is a smart boy.  He is independent and has to know how everything works.  When I tried to take away his diapers and put him in underwear last time, he would have nothing to do with it because he was afraid he'd have an accident.  He got really upset about it, so I decided to wait a few months.  I wanted to keep it all positive.  We didn't need crying over potty training.

This time, though, he was fine with the underwear once I got it on him.  He had a couple of accidents until I made him sit on the potty for 40 minutes after drinking.  And he used the potty!  Ever since, we've had just a few accidents (maybe one a day?), but he has used his little froggy potty and also the big potty.  He knows what to do, but I'm not sure that he understands when he has to go or quite how to hold it yet.  The more we practice, though, the more he will get it.  And we're certainly on the right path.  I'm really excited for him, and he gets so proud of himself whenever he uses the potty.

I've been taking the boys out together by myself lately a bit more.  Trips to get icecream.  A quick park visit in the cold.  Off to the grocery store.  With a new baby, I felt like I was in "survival mode" and had an excuse to do nothing by myself.  But when does having a baby cease to be an excuse?  When is it simply the new norm?  Jack isn't a hard kid, and Eliot listens fine enough most of the time.  The hardest thing about taking the two around town is getting Jack's dang carseat in and out.  I suppose two kids serves as an "excuse" for many things (like having a cluttered house or ordering pizza for dinner or having a pile of laundry in the hallway--which I currently do, by the way) depending on the day (whether or not they're being difficult), so I'll take the good days and the adventures with just mom when I can.

Dear Eliot: Three Years--The Last Letter

Dear Eliot,

Today, you are three years old.  We practiced us asking you how hold you were and your response.  Three years old.  You are not a baby anymore.

 

At your first birthday party, we celebrated the end of your infanthood.  I celebrated the accomplishment of "making it through" the first year with all of our firsts--giving birth, your first night at home, nursing for six months, learning to eat, your first word ("nana"), and so much.  Our sweet, bald-headed boy with hazel eyes.  Growing up so quickly.  It felt significant because we survived and learned so much together.

 

 

On your second birthday, your hair had grown in blond--almost white--and you had obvious interests and preferences.  You had become such an individual, yet you still were a baby in your limitations.  You were trying to learn how to be a person and communicate.

Now at three, you are no longer our baby.  You are all boy.  We celebrated with a Cars and Planes party because you said you wanted both.  You said, "We will have balloons and cupcakes and I will be so happy!"

At three, we are celebrating your autonomy.  You sleep in your own room in a regular bed (though you still creep in our room in the early morning).  You feed yourself and tell me what you want to eat (and what you don't want to eat).  You brush your own teeth.  You can buckle (and unbuckle...) your own carseat.  You play soccer.  You can say anything you want and seem to remember everything.  The last step out of babyhood is pottytraining, which we have been working on over the past few days--and you're doing great!

I love the adventurer that you are.  You love to run and explore.

I think more than anything, we are celebrating that we (you, your dad, and I) have worked hard at trying to shape you into a decent person.  And, what do you know, we're doing pretty all right!  I can tell because you are so kind and sweet to others.  Maybe you have trouble sharing sometimes, but you are very concerned with other people.  If your dad or I seem stressed, you approach us and encourage us, saying, "It'll be all right.  It is OK!"

I love seeing you interact with your brother.  I love how you try to read to him, give him toys, share your food with him (not yet, little buddy), and comfort him when he cries.  You love to make him laugh, and though it is extra crazy sometimes, I let you jump and clown around in attempts to make him giggle.  You always get him to laugh.  I love the bond you have with him.  You tell me that he is "so cute" and "sweet".  You are constantly trying to cuddle with him on the floor and get blankets for him.  I can't imagine a better big brother for him.

Thank you for being so forgiving.  I try really hard not to lose my patience, but sometimes it happens.  Sometimes I snap.  And I am so sorry.  However, you forgive me quickly and shower me with love and acceptance.  You are always eager to help.  You shout in a deep, super hero voice, "I will help you!  I am so strong!"  It is so funny.

Looking back, it has been amazing to see how much you have changed since last year.  Holidays and birthdays are making more sense to you.  Last year, you went along with Christmas, but the magic and wonder of it all really seemed to sink in this time.  As we counted down the days, you kept asking to "go to" Christmas.  It finally came and all the decorations and details made sense--like why we had those "big socks" hanging from the mantle.

I have learned so much from you over these past few years, and I still have more to learn.  When I found out that I was pregnant with you, I was so full of joy, but I was also afraid.  I was afraid I would fail you.  I was afraid that I couldn't do it.  Looking back, we have done fine together, and you have grown into an amazing boy with strong character.  You're still growing and learning, of course, but you are well on your way.  I love you, Eliot.  You made me into a mother and changed me for the better.

Dear Eliot: Two Years, Eleven Months

Dear Eliot,

You are getting so close to three....  Just one more month.  When I hold your brother and then look over at you, I cannot believe that you were once a little baby too.  You have seemed like such a big boy for so long, and you are always doing or saying something outrageously funny and full of personality.

This might not make any sense at all to you, but I hope that I never forget it.  You are so into the ending scene of Jurassic Park.  Like, it's ridiculous.  In case no one cares about Jurassic Park in the future, let me explain that the movie ends with the people about to be eaten by raptors.  These guys have been terrorizing everyone the whole movie.  Then, out of nowhere, the t-rex eats the raptors, which allows the people to escape just in time.  You get so stoked on it.  You watch it on our laptops and phones all the time and scream, "The t-rex rescues them!"  When we see someone that you haven't seen in a while, you asked to show them the clip.  You impersonate it with growls and snarls.  You love Jurassic Park.  You love t-rexes.  And I love how you say "raptors"--it always comes out as "rappers".  So good!

You love to play dinosaurs too.  You ask me to pretend to be a t-rex so that you can hide.  Sometimes I am a "mad" t-rex.  Other times I am a "nice" t-rex.  You love to stomp around the house and roar.  It's so fun to watch your imagination grow.

I've spent a bit of time lately thinking back to a year ago and about how much has changed.  We've come a long way, kid, you and me.  I remember last year, we took you to see the lights at the Botantical Gardens for Christmas.  You loved them, but when it was time to go, you cried the whole way home--and it is not a short drive.  This year, you loved them again, but when it was over, you asked why and then accepted it.  You didn't cry at all.  We're making it through this thing called growing up, and I think we're doing OK between the two of us. 

I'm always worried that I am scarring you or failing miserably, but the thing is, I know we're fine when I tuck you in at night.  You say the sweetest things to me.  You tell me that you love me "so much," that I am "so special to [you]," and that I am pretty.  I don't think you would say such sweet things if I were doing the worst job ever as your parent.  You're such a big kid these days.

Every day, I am so thankful and proud of you as a big brother.  Jack is learning to take your toys, which is hard on you at times, but you are working through it.  You are gentle and share on your terms.  When it isn't your idea, you are a bit taken back at first, yet you come around.  You love taking care of Jack and reading to him.  And my favorite part of seeing you two together is when you don't know I'm looking.  Sometimes Jack will be crying in his crib, and I might run to grab something real quick.  Often, you sneak into his room, turn on his light, hold his hand through the slats in the crib, and assure him, "Jacky, it's OK.  It's all right.  I'm here."  These are the things I say to him, too.  And you know what?  He stops crying.  You comfort him so well, and seeing your relationship grow just makes my heart explode.

I love watching you grown and how observant you are.  So often, you want to bring the world along with you.  Even if we are going for a short car ride, you want to bring more toys than is reasonable.  And when we go outside, you want to collect the sticks, gumballs,stray feathers, and leaves.  On the beach, you collect shells.  You find the tiniest shell and give it to me to put in my pocket for you, entrusting me to keep it safe.  You are amazing, Eliot Thomas.  I want to live up to the image you have of me.  I want to give you all the best.  I want to see the world the way you do.  You're so smart, funny, beautiful, and wise.

Dear Eliot: Two Years, Ten Months

Dear Eliot,

I have recently stopped telling people that you are "two and a half".  Instead, I say that you are almost three.  You are, you know, much closer to three than two these days.  I can hardly believe how fast you have grown, but you act like such a big kid.

You let me know that you are big, too.  Sometimes I accidentally call you "my baby," but you smile and say, "noooo," like I said something so silly, like I called you a dog or something as a joke.  You don't see yourself as a baby at all.  However, you still are so sweet to me.  You love to be held and cuddled.  I still tuck you in at night, and you give me Eskimo kisses and tell me that you love me unprompted.  I think that is one of my favorite parts of the day.  No matter if we've had a rough day or a great one, you always make me feel like I'm doing a good job since you always tell me that you love me without me even asking or saying it first.

You had your first trick-or-treating experience this Halloween.  You have been going on and on about wanting to "go to Halloween" and be Buzz Lightyear.  We finally did it!  You were so stoked to say "trick or treat" and kept saying it before people would open the door all of the way to hear you.  It was so funny.  You had a great time, and I worried that you might not understand why we couldn't do it again another day, but things settled out and you accepted that Halloween is over.

We enrolled you in soccer classes.  I am hoping to sign you up for soccer in the spring, and I wanted to get you started in a group activity to prepare you.  Once a week, you play soccer and other games with a group of kids.  At first, you were shy and didn't want to stretch, but within a handful of minutes, you were running and playing with all of the other kids.  I was so proud!  You keep growing socially.

The funniest thing with you and other kids is the way you get started talking to them....  We might be at the park and you'll find some kids your age.  And then you start talking about your shirt or their shirt, and then you and the other kids automatically set up a game of chase.  Instant friends!

I am so thankful that you and your brother are continuing to get along well.  You try to take care of him and play with him.  Almost every night, you drag your blanket from your room into the den and set up pillow so you two can cuddle.  It's so cute and pulls at my heart every time.

You're definitely stepping it up in "big boy" status.  After sleeping on a mattress on the floor in your room for a while, your Robinson grandparents gave you their bunk beds for your room!  Your granddad slept in those beds with his brother when he was a boy.  Now I suppose you and Jack will share them when Jack grows big enough.  You think the bunk beds are the coolest toy.  We play ship, house, fort, and so many games with them.  Not to mention that you have gotten really good at climbing ladders....

I love your creativity and your imagination.  I love how you always want to play, jump off of every surface, pet every cat, collect every fallen leaf, test out every pen by drawing pictures, and kick every ball.  You make me so proud and thankful every day.  I love watching you grow, little guy.

On Mothering Two

I'm no expert on mothering two babies at this point, but I have been at it for about four and a half months now.  When I was pregnant with Jack, I was taken back by the number of negative comments I received, especially when people heard I was having a second boy.  Another boy? Oh, well, maybe next time.  Maybe next time what?!  Two boys?  You're really in for it.  Yes, in awesomeness.  You're really going to have your hands full--more than you realize.  Talk about doom and gloom...  Complete strangers would say these things, and some of those people worked in my OB office.  Goodness!  As if I weren't nervous enough about handling two without emotionally damaging them.

However, it has been four and a half months, and all is going just fine!

Some nights, Christopher and I will sit on different couches.  One of us holds, loves on, and tickles one son while the other plays with the other.  Life sure is different with kids, especially with two, and our hands are full, yet I never feel sad on these nights.  Instead, I feel so thankful.  I'm thankful for both of our boys and that my husband so freely loves on them with me.  We might be sitting across the room from one another, but I certainly do not feel distant from him.

Maybe we just got lucky with Eliot and Jack since there don't seem to be any jealousy issues.  I know I might still "have it coming" later when Jack is able to knock down Eliot's block towers (and we'll deal with that when we get there), yet Eliot just adores Jack.  And Jack seems so intrigued by Eliot.  Every night, Eliot brings out a blanket, throws two pillows on the floor, and sets up a little snugglefest for himself and Jack.  It's so cute.  And it takes everything in me to stop myself from saying, "Stopppp pulling Jack!  Don't put so much blanket on himmm!"  Because Jack.just.loves.it.  He smiles so big and laughs on and on.

 

I do worry about balancing the two in the right way.  Jack relies on me for so much more than Eliot, so I have to juggle who gets their needs met first.  There are times when I nurse Jack and tell Eliot that he will have to wait.  When Eliot started asking, "You have to feed Jack first?" after making most requests, I felt guilty at first.  He must feel like he never comes first.  He must feel unimportant....  Then I realized no, that isn't necessarily the case.  He is realizing that sometimes he has to wait because his "wants" and minor "needs" aren't always the first priority.  He accepts that and has never thrown a fit over having to wait for Jack to eat.  He is learning to be patient.  And then there are times when I allow Jack to grumble or fuss for a little bit longer than I want to because I'm getting something for Eliot.  I might be getting snack for Eliot while Jack wants to be re-positioned, but Jack can wait just a moment.

I might have a lot to do between the two--twice the diapers, twice the feedings, twice the laundry--but they often entertain each other and give me a break.  Jack is so incredibly fascinated by Eliot.  He watches his every move.  And Eliot loves to sit on the floor and talk to Jack.  Before Jack came along, it would be hard to find a distraction for Eliot if I needed to tidy up or something, but now I just tell Eliot to talk to Jack.  Everyone is happy.

The sweetest thing of all, I think, is stepping back and watching Eliot try to take care of Jack.  When Jack cries, Eliot assures him that it is OK and sings "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".  Eliot brings him blankets when he thinks Jack is cold.  Eliot tries to help me give Jack a bath.  It's not always easy.  It is sometimes hard.  But isn't everything worth having just a little hard sometimes?  I have loved having one boy for two and a half years before Jack came, but, you know what? I love having two boys even more.

When I was pregnant, I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to do it with two.  I tend to ignore negativity when it comes my way, yet with this, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe they would be right.  Two boys at two very different places could be so rough.  And life with a newborn?  It's hard, right?  But you choose what you focus on.  I can't even remember what it was like without Jack--and I don't want to necessarily.  I love these two boys together.  They'll have ups and downs, but if now is any indication of the future, they're going to be best friends.  I can't wait to watch them grow together.