Moneyz

It's rude to talk about money, they say.  I try not to ask others about their money, even if I'm just trying to be friendly, but it's something I want to always talk to my sons about.  I was involved in my parents' money discussions--not that I was making financial decisions with them, just that they tried to explain what they were doing and built budgets along with me for my money.  My college was budgeted out completely, down to how much food my rabbit ate a month.

I'm the person who is more likely to stuff money under my mattress, not even count it, and sit on it.  I hate buying expensive things--and when Chris says he wants to buy something for more than $30, I always say no, that it is a bad idea, at first.  That makes me feel better because I know my mattress money is there if I need it.  But money doesn't grow like that, and money certainly isn't accounted for in this way either.

Chris and I are young, but we have a family.  We wanted to start a college fund for the boys early.  Our hope is that we can pay for their undergraduate degrees, so we're trying to come up with a plan to start now, even if it is small.  And then there's our retirement....  That seems a long ways off, but we don't have a retirement plan through work, so it is up to us.  There are so many options, and people from the outside like to tell you what to do "for sure," but we're the ones who have to put the money aside and live with the consequences, both good and bad, of our choices.  And should you focus aggressively on retirement when you also pay tuition in cash and have student loans?  So many booming voices proclaim that we can do both, yet I'm still settling into a new house with a new budget that I am piecing together with a new baby on the way.  It's a lot to organize right now.

So, as you can see, I am allowing myself to become overwhelmed.  Term v. whole life insurance.  ROTH IRAs.  VA 529 plans.  Setting up a will and a trust?  And what about the "things" in life that I want to buy as we enjoy life?  Like a vacation every now and then (I feel like everyone else travels so much more than us) or a larger vehicle in about five years?  Oh, goodness.  Suddenly, my mattress is looking like a less complicated place to keep my money.  I try to think of what Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman would say.  I reflect on our personal situation, our goals, and our hopes.  I try to keep in mind that the fact that we're working on these things at this age is great.  We don't have to invest heavily now, but getting started (or even waiting six months) is something I will be glad we began early on.

Planning Our Finances

For the first five years of our relationship, Chris and I were always very intentional when it came to money.  We were in undergrad and then grad school.  And beyond broke.  I always joke that our idea of going out to eat was splitting Texas toast and a side order of mashed potatoes at Applebees.  Going to Olive Garden was the.hugest.event.ever.  We listened to a lot of Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman.  We hoped school would pay off (but we didn't know it would), and a year or so after completing our MAs, we found stability.

Even though we're doing fine and our mortgage is reasonable, I still try to be smart with money.  We order more than toast and mashed potatoes and sometimes we even each get our own drink, but we generally only go to a restaurant once a week or less often.  I try not to be a materialistic person.  I don't care too much for things.  Back then, sharing a drink from Starbucks was a big, big deal and only happened every once in a great while.  Now, I can get a drink whenever, but I don't; I still squirm inside when spending money on coffee, so I still only get one once every few months and Chris only gets black coffee.  Being "poor" taught me that.  This year, we did use a little of our summer school overload money to splurge on a few things we wanted and needed (a new blender as ours was on the fritz--we make at least three smoothies a day--and a video camera since ours died well over six months ago).  My favorite things in life are quite close to free--enjoying a walk through the woods, new photographs, playing with bubbles with my son, or a bonfire out back.

I'm not "thrifty" in everything I do.  I could be better.  My greatest weakness is Eliot.  His clothes and toys are generally new (but almost always on sale).  I tried consignment shops for his clothes, but the deals weren't that great.  And have you tried going to a yard sale with a toddler?  If there is some long-lasting, big item we want (like Chris's surfboard), I think about how Eliot could use it some day.  Then I'm all for it.  I always want to give everything to him.  His eyes light up so much when he gets a new toy car--and they're so cheap.  So, I try to hold back more when it comes to buying things for Eliot because they're just "things," and I need to give him the opportunity to learn that just like I did.

In an effort to remain "intentional" with our finances, Chris and I have been working on some plans.  We pay our doctorate tuition in cash.  We have been setting aside money for a downpayment for a larger home.  And, today, we paid off the first of our school loans.  Why didn't we do this sooner?  There always seemed to be some other distraction:  our current tuition, hospital bills, fixing our 74-year-old slate roof.  Now that we got started, though, I feel more focused.  These student loans won't be due for another year, but it feels good to get ahead.  We don't have "too" much (less than the average student with a BA), especially considering that we are close to both having our doctorates, but I'm excited by the idea of maybe getting them paid down a bit before we even have to begin paying them.

Now if only we could set up a good college savings account for Eliot.  I don't even know where to start.

Moneyyy

The hard thing about budgeting when you don't have to is that there always seems to be something we need.  Eliot could use more shoes.  He always needs more socks.  His pants are already getting tight (he has two pair).  I can easily think of $1,000 worth of "things" I'd like to get that I can half-way justify at first.

Our flash is broken--that is one thing we will be purchasing soon.

There is a cute convertible couch at Target for cheap that would be nice in the downstairs bedroom--but, really, how often would we use it?  Chris's parents sleep on the sofa bed downstairs.  Now that Elizabeth is at college, she rarely stays the night at the same time as them.  It would be nice for her then, but this scenario doesn't happen often at all.

My phone has been eligible to upgrade since August.  And it is really sucking these days.  I could get the new iPhone, but I think I'm just going to get a regular phone instead.  Chris has an iPhone, so do we really need two?  I'd only use Facebook and Instagram.  Sure, it'd be nice, but is an extra $20 a month and an extra $150 for the phone itself really worth "nice"?  Just the other day, we were talking about how I could probably cut my line off completely and be fine.  I more or less only talk to my parents and then Chris when he is at meetings on my phone.

I'm still trying to decide if we kind of need more dining room chairs, but I think I'm going with "no" on that one.

This past weekend, we got some clothes for Christopher and me, which is rare, so we should be doing fine in that are for a while.

When it comes down to it, I try to ask myself if I need it.  Like, do I actually need it.  For the flash, the answer is kind of yes.  We take a lot of photos.  For the phone, the answer is probably yes again for the regular phone because mine is quite sleepy and ready to go to that place that phones go when they die.

We're doing well enough financially, but if we're more conscious of how we spend our money, we can save up a lot and also set a good example for Eliot about budgeting.  I want to start a savings plan for Eliot for school and college.  I want to save up to eliminate our school debt (which is about a car payment).  I want to save up so we aren't frantic or feel "house poor" when we move in the summer.