Thankful Under Rain Clouds

The weather has been ghastly and I am left questioning--what is the point of wind?  Other than to make bearably cold days miserable?  We've tried to have some little adventures since getting home, but it's these little things that make me happiest.

Our aquarium membership.  Maybe this isn't that little, but I am so thankful that we can go to the aquarium over and over.  Eliot loves animals, especially sea creatures, so our aquarium membership gives us something to do on cold, windy days.  For some reason, Eliot had been acting afraid the last few times we went (I think it was a game), but he was so happy to run around and talk to the turtles, sharks, fish, and rays.  One of his favorite movies is Finding Nemo, and sometimes he calls sharks "Bruce," which I think is hilarious.

At 23 weeks, my belly has exploded.  I'm still weighing the same as my 20-week doctor's appointment (10 pounds gained so far), so it sure is interesting how weight moves around.

Last night, Chris watched Eliot so I could go see my niece's first grade production at school.  I can't believe how fast that little baby has grown!  She had a speaking role and did a great job.

Being back home means getting back into meal planning and trips to the grocery store.  I hadn't been to the grocery store for more than one item since before Eliot's birthday in January!  No joke!  I mean, I did get some groceries here and there on Target trips, but overall the grocery store has been Chris's thing--and I'm so thankful that he is always willing to go get anything I ask for.  This week, though, Chris and I went to the store together and made up this menu on the spot.  I haven't always been very good at planning a menu, but after a year of making a big effort, we've managed to piece together some generic, fast, toddler-friendly meals that we rotate.  This is a typical menu for us (nothing too exciting), but it is all vegetarian with fresh ingredients, requiring only 15 minutes of prep, and foods that Eliot will eat.  Also, I try to only do one dinner with soy products a week.  If by chance Eliot won't eat what we eat, I usually throw together a peanut butter sandwich, toss him an apple, and make him a green smoothie later.

Eliot has been a bit of a terror today, but we've laughed it off.  He's just whiny and can't be satisfied.  Maybe it's the weather.  Maybe he doesn't feel well.  We've had fun framing up Chris's childhood basketball posters that will go in the garage, bought some local, free-range eggs, and cuddled in bed while watching a movie.  Of course, Chris and I had work in between as well, which is enjoyable in its own way.

I'm looking forward to spring, but hanging in there in the meantime!

D.C. Toddler Time!

Chris and I went to D.C. last winter with his aunt and sister.  However, before that, it had been about five years.  Maybe longer?  I think the last time we went, we were in undergrad.  Chris's parents live in northern Virginia, so when visiting them, we used to enjoy catching the metro in Springfield and riding all around with our $6.50 all-day passes.  We went to college in a little town called Farmville, so getting to go to DC and checking out Urban Outfitters, having so many food options, walking the streets while looking up at tall buildings, and watching the bustling city filled us with excitement.  It felt special.

Years later, I was excited to take Eliot into the city for the first time.  We wanted to take him to the Museum of Natural History to see the dinosaur bones, and I knew he'd really enjoy riding the metro.

Things change, friends, and I feel old.  The all-day pass is now $14.  Goodness!  It was less expensive to just buy the exact fare, which was no big deal--I knew Eliot couldn't handle wandering the city all day like we used to.  From Springfield to the Smithsonian stop, it is a straight, quick trip.  A handful of stops, but nothing too far.  This weekend, though, they were working on a few lines, so we had to get on at Springfield, get off at Braddock, take a bus to Crystal City, get back on the metro, and continue on our way to Smithsonian.  At least the bus was free....

Also, we had been hoping the forecast would stay in the 40s, which it dipped to 30, windy, and there were actually snow flurries!  Chris and I trodded the city many times in the cold, and I'm sure I was a bucket of complaints then too, but it is different when you have a toddler.

Eliot was so excited for his "choo choo ride," and kept saying, "Allll aboard," a phrase that I didn't realize he knew.  We were all having a good time until the bus ride.  It was crowded, Eliot wasn't happy, and we had a long road ahead of us.  I think it took us two hours to get to Smithsonian--right at Eliot's nap time and he hadn't had lunch (no eating on the metro!).  We managed to get subs and he was in better spirits (exhausted, but happier).  We made it to the museum...  And it was worth it.

Eliot loved seeing all of the dinosaurs.  He gets stoked to take pictures with my phone (seriously thinking of making him his own Instagram), so he told all of the fossils to say "cheese" and took their pictures.  So funny.  Chris's dad paid for Eliot and Chris to ride a carousel outside of the museum too, which was really cute.  I love seeing the wonder in his eyes.

Then it was time to begin the journey home.  It was long, tiring, and my pregnant bones were exhausted by the time we made it back to Chris's parents' house about 5:30 pm.  We had left at 10:30 am to begin our trip, so Eliot took a much-needed (but short) nap.  Throughout the commute to and back home, Eliot had a few manageable meltdowns, but considering everything we put him through, the kid was a champ.

Next time, I'll wait until it is warmer and make sure the metro isn't being worked on.  They say having kids changes things, and, yeah, it takes a lot more planning, but it wouldn't have been so difficult if the metro had been in working order.  And while our trip was more commute and less "fun" than I hoped, going to that museum was so much more enjoyable with our son than it ever was with just the two of us (and that was fun back then too!).  Life with a babe requires logistics, but it is so much more rewarding.

22 Weeks

Here at 22 weeks, I feel closer to our due date than last update (even though it has only been a couple of weeks).  Eighteen weeks remaining just sounds less huge than twenty.

Not too much has changed!  I am feeling about the same (sleepy a lot but OK overall) and those baby kicks keep on growing.  For a few days, Jack must have been positioned weird because my lower back had a pinching feel like he was hitting a nerve.  It hurt to bend over or sit a certain way or anything, really, but it wasn't too horrible.  And it has since grown less intense, so he must have moved a little.  I rarely feel like eating and fill up super fast.  Lately, I've been getting some heartburn too, so it's on to the Tums, which I always put off.  Chris makes me take them and they aren't so bad, really.

Chris has said he could feel Jack's kicks for a couple of weeks, but this past week Jack gave such huge kicks that we all knew for sure.  In fact, he is tumbling around now some and I almost think I saw it through my shirt.  Maybe!  I think it is so cool when I can feel him kick on one side and punching on the other at the same time.  I love those baby kicks, but I know I'll be whimpering over how painful they are at the end.  Eliot left me feeling bruised on the insides!

Speaking of Eliot, it is crazy to think that with him, we would have just found out the sex here at 22 weeks.  I am so glad we did the early ultrasound.  I have loved knowing Jack is a boy a month earlier than last time--I wish I could have done this with Eliot too, but it was like $200 in Lynchburg and only $80 here!  Chris talks about all of the things he going to do with his boys.  Apparently, they're going snowboarding--and I'm not.  They'll go surfing all the time together until Eliot is old enough to drive and then Chris will let them go by themselves but worry the whole time.  And Chris is going to buy a boat for just him and the boys--I get seasick in elevators so I will only go on boats on a lake.  He even has plans for when they are grown and how they will all sit together and discuss literature, theology, and politics.  I'm not sure if I'm invited in on that conversation either.

In the beach photo above, I feel like I don't look very large.  I almost look the same as 18 weeks, but I guess it is all the angle, what I'm wearing, and so on.  Sometimes Chris will say little things like, "You're really growing."  And he doesn't mean to imply that I'm fat or anything, just that sometimes, whoa, I suddenly have an obvious baby poking out.  Still a long ways to go, but, yep!

Even though I had a rough first trimester (but not that rough), I feel like this pregnancy hasn't slowed me down too much.  I've been on the go, playing with Eliot, keeping the house clean, and cooking a lot.  Last time, I remember that eventually I would come home from work, lay on the couch, and stare at my stomach all night as I waited for Eliot to move.  I thought it was so neat (and insane) to watch my whole stomach change shapes and shift.  That was enjoyable in its own way, but getting going and out of the house has helped to liven up my mood.  That stomach staring was probably later on, so it probably will come to that as I grow more... huge.

There are moments when I feel so eager for summer to be here so we can meet our boy and transition to being a family of four; however, I know those feelings will only intensify and take over my entire brain near the end.  Right now is about focusing on staying healthy, growing a baby, and preparing our hearts and home.

Lately

I've been writing on random topics lately, but not so much about our days.  Honestly, our day-to-day probably looks quite boring since we work from home and then Eliot naps in the afternoon.  Sometimes it feels like we can't get out for an adventure until after 4:00 pm, and then I need to be figuring out dinner, so we just don't leave the house all day.  (Not complaining, just saying).

We've made more of an effort, though, to get out the door in the mornings for some fun or to shift things around (like letting Eliot nap in the car instead on warmer days knowing his grumpiness to follow will be worth the fun.  Right?  Right?).  I've lost a little bit of pride and am OK with getting myself to look presentable in the mornings without a shower in the interest of getting out.

We tried taking Eliot to the library on colder days, which worked for a while.  He enjoyed doing allll of the puzzles a few times.  He played with some toys.  He is of course interested in the books, but he grabs too many, opens each one, and runs back for more.  Good thing Chris used to work in a library and is great at returning books to the proper shelf quickly.

I think we're doing all right with the whole "big boy bed" transition away from co-sleeping.  I've been consistent and encouraging independence yet not letting it stress us all out.  It's been a month, I think, and Eliot generally starts out in his bed and then crawls in our bed in the morning.  Some nights are easier than others.  Sometimes I see progress; sometimes we take a step back.  I'm just going to keep on with the consistency.

However, Eliot did get sick and wiggle his way back into our bed for a few nights.  He just had a runny nose and then all of the sudden at night he started up with that croup-sounding cough!  Nooo!  He had croup when he was about 10 months old and it was horrible.  I don't know for sure if this was croup, but it sounded like it....  Fortunately, he is older and bigger and has larger vocal cords, so it wasn't as bad and mostly lasted just that night.  However, for that night, he stayed up until 4:00 am and then was awake for the day around 8:00 am (and I got up at 6:00 am), which was not fun.  Ever since that night, he just has a runny nose, seems fine, and coughed maybe twice.  I'm so thankful he feels better!

On the decently warm days (like 55 degrees and sunny), we have gone to the beach twice after Eliot's nap.  We play in the sand, chase seagulls, flirt with the waves, collect shells, play on the playground, and so on.  No one has gotten too wet--yet.  Yesterday evening, we saw a couple of dolphins, which really got Eliot stoked.  He loves sea creatures, especially dolphins, sharks, seals, and rays.  We usually stay about an hour and a half before it is just too windy and the sun is setting.  Eliot is never ready to leave, and I'm really looking forward to it warming up when we can spend hours there, have a picnic, and play.  Not to mention in the summer when we can actually get in the water.

Eliot has been showing a BIG interest in potty training.  I'll probably write more on that later....  I wasn't planning to push it at all and figured we might wait until two and a half or even closer to three.  That might seem rather late to some, but I will have a newborn when he is two and a half, so I thought throwing potty training in the mix might be impossible.  However, he is asking to use the potty and trying to take his pants off....  I'm not sure that he understands how to control it yet, but this could be a good time to start talking about the potty and maybe try in a couple of months (or earlier?).  I'll see how it goes.  The thing is that when I saw that he was getting ready, I was really excited.  But now that I am facing it, I'm nervous and not looking forward to it because I just don't know how it is going to go.  One day at a time!  That's how these things always are.

Life isn't all play, though.  I just choose not to write about work (who wants to read about work?).  These little adventures don't come daily and are placed between early mornings, typing with one hand while Eliot holds my other, working while Eliot builds train tracks, and late nights.  I really love my job and can't believe that I have the chance to work from home while watching my little boy (soon to be boys!) grow up.  So few moms get to both have a career and be at home with their babies at the same time.  I love it.

This weekend, we're heading to northern Virginia to visit Chris's parents.  I think Eliot's first metro ride and trip to DC are in store if it isn't too cold on Saturday.  Natural History Museum, here we come!

On Photography

I am obsessed with documenting everything.  It is so important to me.  When Chris and I first got married, we bought our first DSLR camera together.  It felt scary and maybe reckless even since we didn't have a lot of money.  However, we didn't want to miss all those important moments of our early marriage.

Taking photographs turned into our favorite hobby.  If we felt like buying something, instead we would go for a walk and take photos.  We took photos of everything.  Each other, our dog, our food, our books, the grass, the trees, the sky, the water, interesting buildings downtown....  When I had new photos to look through, I felt rich.

When Eliot arrived, our focus changed.  Fewer photos of how interesting the cobblestone looks all worn down.  More photos of that beautiful baby boy.  It felt silly taking a photo of just me or just Chris.  Eliot was in every photo.  I took pictures of him doing everything.

As time went on, I took less photos.  Still a lot and probably more than other people, but less.  I had less time to edit.  Even if Eliot were doing something cute, I allowed myself to soak up the moment and not go after the camera.  Plus, I could frequently just take a picture on Instagram.  It's not the same, but it's something, right?

Lately, I have felt guilty about the lack of photos I have been taking.  Of my son, of my family, of myself.  I have so few photos of myself pregnant with Jack.  I try to remind myself that it has been cold, dreary, and busy lately.  We haven't gone off to do much "fun".  We haven't gone on photography walks or trips to the park.  It is winter afterall.  I should focus on taking more pictures at home too, but I know I will take more when we get start getting outdoors this spring.

 At the same time, it's the little moments that are really the big ones.  Eliot "cooking" soup alongside of me.  Putting puzzles together.  Cuddling with the rabbit.  There are times that I don't feel like dealing with the difficult lighting in our house--I need to grab the stinkin' flash or learn how to work with what I have.  I don't feel pretty enough to be in pictures--in the future when I flip through the pages of our photos, I won't care how I looked and I am my biggest critic anyway.

Then the other day, we had work to do but it was warm.  And we had just enough time to run to the beach and see how Eliot enjoyed the sand.  He loved it.  Loved it.  Before, he wasn't so sure about the waves at the beginning of last summer, but he is all about it now.  I managed some great shots.  I felt rich again, just like I did when we first starting taking pictures five years ago.

Summer Plans

Summer is my favorite season.  I need warmth and time outside.  When Chris and I first started dating, he revealed that his favorite season was fall.  What?  I told him he was crazy.  He's the one always talking about the majesty of palm trees.  Fall is the sign that summer is ending and there will be no more swimming through the long, cold winter.  Every year, he concedes that I am right when we are stuck in winter with no end in sight.

On this rainy, winter morning, I'm making my summer plans.  I am so looking forward to this summer.  We'll have beach trips at the beginning of the summer.  Baby Jack will be born at the beginning of July.  We can go to the water park if we feel up to it.  And Chris is planning to open the pool early in April.

I even loved summer in Lynchburg without an ocean in sight and in a house without ac (we had three window units, which kept us comfortable enough, but the house was usually just under 80 degrees).

 I'm not so silly as to think that I'll be swimming in April as soon as the pool opens....  I'm picky when it comes to water temperatures.  I need it at least 80 degrees, so I won't be swimming until June probably.  And then I won't be swimming much after Jack is born.  However, it will still be nice to simply look at the water and dangle my feet in--and I really love watching Eliot and Chris play in the pool together.  I just hope it isn't too much of a fight keeping Eliot and our dachshunds out of the pool when they aren't allowed in--fortunately, we have a fence around it!

This is my parents' pool.  I haven't even seen mine in action!

The other day, I was shopping with my friend Kimmy for her soon-to-be-born nephew's shower present.  I noticed a pair of newborn swim trunks.  It is so hard to find newborn swim trunks!  Even though I've been trying to NOT buy much for Jack too early, I couldn't help myself.  And the fun thing is that Chris has a pair with a similar pattern, just slightly different colors.  And we all know Chris loves to match his boys.

To be honest, I have been worried that I wouldn't be able to participate in the fun this summer since I'd be (very) pregnant and then have a newborn, but I'm keeping in mind that Chris is eager to turn our backyard into a tropical oasis.  He has palm tree plans and wants to buy patio furniture.  We've been using plastic white chairs that belonged to my parents for six years now and then we've been using a glass table that the previous owner of our first house left three years ago.  I am encouraging him, though, that we don't have to make the yard perfect in our first year here.  The yard already has amazing landscaping.  However, we will be acquiring a hammock.  And I will be curling up in that hammock after I have Jack.  And Jack and I will not be moving for the rest of the summer except to maybe get re-fills of my non-alcoholic pina coladas--actually, I'll just have Chris bring the re-fills to me.

I.am.so.excited.for.summer.  Until then, we'll just have to keep on dreaming and paying the ocean short visits when it isn't freezing.

Just a Few Things

Just a few things on my heart.

.Whether he likes it or not, Chris generally hears all about my dreams each morning.  Usually, they are strange nightmares and Chris asks where in the world I come up with this stuff (I don't know!).  When Eliot wakes up, he sleepily mutters a few words, and I like to think that he is telling me about his dreams.  Today, it was "Alligator.  Oh no!  Alligator."  I hate to think that he is having nightmares too about an alligator, but he doesn't seem bothered.

.We have settled on a new bedtime routine.  Eliot doesn't calm down when he is tired--he goes more crazy and acts hyper, but he is quite clumsy and then whines a lot.  However, he won't sleep either.  He enters this mode about two hours before bedtime, so instead of running around the house with him, I've started watching a kid's movie (his choice) in bed with him around 8:00 pm.  Chris can get some quiet time to himself; I can generally do simple work like grading or light researching (no heavy writing); Eliot is content.  I don't even have to finish the movie.  At 9:00 pm, it's big boy bed time, and he doesn't even protest me turning the movie off much.

.Lately, Eliot has started asking, "Take pictures?"  He loves to take my phone around the house and snap little photos.  It is funny to see the world through his perspective.  And he's actually pretty good at it.  I hope to encourage him to pursue art in all forms as he grows older.  Art is what makes us human.  He is so interested in many modes of expression, like drawing, photography, and trying to make music with his harmonica and piano.

.This morning, Eliot brought two cars and asked, "Baby Jack?"  I thought he was saying "baby that" for a moment until I saw the cars.  He wanted to play cars on my tummy again.  I know I've written about this so many times, but I think it is the sweetest thing and love that he does it unprompted.  The only thing is that I would prefer he not demand to put the cars on my bare tummy.  Can't they just drive on my shirtttt?

.I'm now at 21 weeks, which means 19 remain.  That sounds like a lot.  And maybe it is.  I'm trying to savor this time, though, because the second trimester is my favorite.  I'm so excited to meet our Jack and start making memories as a family of four (wow!).  I can't wait to take his photographs.  Is that something most moms look forward to as in one of the top things they most look forward to?  Well, that is one of the many things I am dreaming of.  I don't think I have many "real" photos of me pregnant (just Instagram), so I need to get on that.  I had been waiting until I was showing more.  We're there now!  Maybe we'll find a sunny day and take some photos soon.  Since this very well might be my last pregnancy, I am trying to hold on to every second.

.It is hard to find the right schedule for digging deep into the Bible and journaling my prayers.  I generally wake up two hours before everyone else, but Eliot holds me tight (he crawls in bed with us each morning).  And I can't write with a pen in Eliot's sight--he demands to draw with it and hunts me down if I go in another room.  So, I downloaded a devotional app for my phone, which I have been reading each morning.  Chris has been reading this book below about the early church and reporting all of the interesting facts to me.  There is always more to give to God, but I am trying and I feel like beginning my morning in the Word (no matter how lightly) is a good start.