Dear Eliot: Two Years

Dear Eliot,

Now that you are two years old, I can tell people your age in years, not months.  I tried that when you were a year, but people just acted confused.  "How old is he?"  "A year and three months."  "Whaaat?"  "...Fifteen months..."  "Ohhhh!"  Like months makes more sense?  From now on, I'll just say you're two or two and a half or three.  Whoa, wait a second.  Three?  Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.  You're two.  For now.

We've had a lot of changes this month.  First, we moved, which was no fun for babies.  It's no fun for anyone, but I think that the past month or so filling out paper work, packing, moving, and unpacking has been especially un-fun for you.  So much boredom.  However, you were a great sport and love the new house.  We let you run around everywhere.  No more baby gates!  About time!  You're a big boy, and without the threat of dangerous stairs going down to the basement, we're all much happier.  Not to mention the backyard.  Every day, it's "go-er'side" and we can't get you back inside, even when it is coooold!

Also, did I mention that we finally announced our big, big change to everyone?  Yep, you are going to be a big brother in July (or maybe late June)!  The funny thing is that it was like you knew before us.  We had been hoping for a baby, but before I could test, you pointed to my tummy and said "baby" frequently.  We hadn't coached you into this at all.  Trust me.  I don't know if you understand all the way now (because after we started trying to tell you there was a baby inside, you'd point to your tummy and say "baby" too), but I like to think that you had secret baby understanding or something.  I know you'll make a great big brother because you love babies.  You might get jealous some at points, but we'll work it out.  I joked that we needed to get you a baby brother or sister because you think you're a dog.  The dogs are your best friends.  People think I'm joking until they see you drink out of the dogs' water bowl (bad idea!).

Along with the changes has come a lot of celebration.  You had your second Christmas, which was even more fun (though smaller) than last year.  You received a train table along with some fun new toys, but your favorite present was a box of Gushers.

Then, just a couple of days ago, you had your second birthday party.  This year, both sets of grandparents could come (my whole family was knocked out with a puking virus last year) along with some friends.  It was a Cars-themed party with lots of balloons and streamers.  I wanted to get things that make you happiest, so for your cake, you had a strawberry-frosted donut and cupcakes for everyone else.  Your dad says that one of his earliest memories is eating a strawberry-frosted donut with his dad.  I wonder if yours will be the same.

The theme of this letter is seconds.  About a week before your party, you got your much-needed second haircut.  This time, you weren't as laid back.  And maybe that was because the stylist actually went through the effort of trying to get it straight, getting it wet, and using clippers for a final touch.  However, after a little bit, they gave you a lollipop and it went much better.  You did great in the end.  And it looks perfect!

In earlier letters to you, I'd write about your cognitive, physical, and speech development.  I hardly know what to write about these things anymore because you seem to be doing everything!  You have preferences and sureee make them known.  You like Finding Nemo and eating peanut butter sandwiches and flipping light switches off and on (over and over...) and pressing buttons at the aquarium.  When we try to stop you from getting into trouble, you push us away, point, and command us to "go".

You recognize letters, but usually call them E, L, I, O, or T--notice a pattern?  It's your name!  We have been working on shapes and colors too.  You don't always say the right color, but you generally bring us the right colored items when we ask for them.  For shapes, you certainly recognize stars for sure (I never really considered a star to be a shape necessarily, but PBS and Disney do, I guess), and you're getting better at the others.  I honestly haven't been working THAT hard, so I should pick it up because you catch on fast.

You love to color.  You demand to color all the time and also make others color along side of you.  You always ask what each color is, give everyone the color you want them to have, trade colors frequently, and show us exactly where you want us to color.  Micromanager or what?

 

 I am happy to say that you are finally eating again.  For about two months, you just stopped eating most things.  We kept you going with smoothies full of nutrients, and I tried not to stress, reminding myself that it was just a phase.  I kept offering you food and eventually you just started eating again.  Everything all the time!  Weird, huh?  Maybe it was a teething thing.

Did you know that you were once a little newborn?  Because I have trouble remembering.  In my mind, you have always been around as a two-year-old boy.  Maybe that is why you turning two hasn't bothered me as much....  And you still love to do baby things that I think many toddlers grow out of, like cuddling.  We love you as our baby, even though you aren't a baby.

Eliot's Second Birthday

Get ready for picture overload.

We had Eliot's second birthday party yesterday!  I'm no Pinterest mom and this was no Pinterest party, but I think we did darn good and didn't buy much store-bought food.  I baked the cupcakes, French bread, and crab dip.  Chris made the hummus and lemonade.  I guess the only things we bought were some salsa (I was going to make it but Chris didn't realize my grocery list had a back.  ha!), chips, fruit, and Dunkin' Donuts--Eliot's "cake" and his favoriteee.

Eliot loves cars, both Cars (the movie) and cars (vehicles), so a Cars party with lots of balloons and streamers it was.

Once Eliot woke up from his nap the rest of the way, he had fun playing with his friends.  We had mostly family and a few friends and enough kids to make his train table super busy.

Last year, I ordered fancy, gourmet cupcakes, but this year I knew Eliot would prefer a strawberry-frosted donut over any cake.  So, I made some cupcakes and Chris picked up a dozen donuts too.

Birthday donut success, which was a lot better than last year when he just tore apart his cup cake and threw it on the floor.

Eliot was showered with tonsss of perfect gifts.  Cars everything, trains, dinosaurs, balls, puzzles, coloring books...  All of his favorite things.  Here he is playing with Cousin Matthew (said in a Downton Abbey voice).

It's hard to believe that Eliot is two....  It's hard to believe that he was ever a newborn.  I thought I'd be sad about him turning two, but I'm OK with it.  And just for fun, here we are last year compared to this year.  Crazy what a year does and how fast it goes...  I hope he slows down just a little.  Just a little.

Dear Eliot: 23 Months

I just realized that I never posted this!  Ahhh!  So late!

Dear Eliot,

We have had a big month--and you have put up with a lot from us!  We've watched a lot of tv, bored you a lot, and went to a lot of meetings to sign papers.  Yes, little buddy, we're packing up the house and moving tomorrow.

Since we've been so busy, we haven't enjoyed many Christmas traditions.  I haven't taken any "real" photos since Thanksgiving.  However, you have been patient with us and go along for the ride anyway.  I promise life will get more exciting again soon.  Christmas is coming up and then your birthday!  I promise to be a more fun person very soon.

This month, you have been teaching me all about how grown you are.  You are asserting your independence, and I am learning how to compensate for your big-boy-ness by allowing you new freedom with appropriate supervision.  For example, you do not do high chairs anymore.  You scream at the restaurants, so it is a booster seat or nothin'.  Of course, you move around a lot more, which is frustrating at times, but we're working on manners.  At home, you also throw a fit over your high chair.  And since us lazy bones usually eat dinner in the den, we're working on a good place for you to sit.  Sometimes it is on the floor on a towel.  Sometimes you run around like Helen Keller and take little bites from your bowl. 

When we move, I might look into getting you a little kid's table and chairs for eating and art.  You love coloring on moving boxes.

I love creating with you.  You recently picked up a harmonica and, man, you figured it out so quickly.  When I brought out my guitar, it was like you were really playing along with me.

You've been all about the iPad for a while.  In fact, that is how we managed to get you to smile for your 18 month portraits.  Now, though, you are doing quite advanced things with it.  You find the games you want and put together complex puzzles.  You shout, "iPad!  Truck puzzle!  Car game!"  You have a different name for each game.

Sometimes when I see photos of little babies, I have to remind myself that you aren't that small anymore.  In my mind, you're still little (even though you are much more than three feet tall).  I can't believe that you are far from being an infant and those days are long gone.  One day, I will have to remind myself that you are much older than two.

Second Baby; Second Chances: What Product I'll Buy Differently

I kept everything with Eliot.  Everything.  Even his old, discolored washcloths.  I don't know if we are having a boy or a girl, so I might be needing to buy a whole new wardrode (and with babe being born in the summer, I will still need to buy clothes for different seasons if this is a boy); however, there is so much that I won't need to buy.

In this case, I'm allowing myself to splurge on a few items.  After having one babe, I know what I'd do differently.

Smaller Carseat.  I guess I could just re-use Eliot's carseat (if it hasn't expired--I don't think it has).  I don't have to buy a new one, but his went up to 30 pounds.  And it was sooo heavy.  Call us wusses, but Chris even said he felt like the thing was messing his back up when he'd pull it out of the car.  I thought I was being smart by getting a larger one, but we transitioned Eliot out of the car seat long before he reached the limits of it.  Heck, he still only weigh 25 pounds!  Long and lean...  Anyway, I think we'll buy a Graco 22 (weighs 7 pounds) instead of 30 (weighs over 18 pounds).  This way, we can use the smaller, newer one more often but still have the old one as a back-up for the other car or grandparents or whatever.

Ergobaby!  I'm not completely sure on this one yet, but I think I'd like to get an Ergobaby carrier.  I used a k'tan sling with Eliot.  And I loved it with him as an infant.  It was great!  But when he got bigger, I just wasn't as good at getting it set up for some reason.  And when I carried him on my hip, his leg was really awkward in front of me.  It hurt my back pretty badly, so I stopped using it a bit early.  I hear the Ergobaby carriers (while expensive) are really awesome, so I think I might use the sling with the baby as an infant and then try an Ergo when the baby grows some.

Double stroller.  Strollers are my favorite baby thing to buy.  I don't know why, but I love looking at them.  By some miracle, I used self-control and only bought ONE stroller (our jogger as a shower gift) for Eliot and then later picked up one of those carts that the infant carseat attaches to for $30 for our Disney trip (we got so much use out of this until Eliot was big enough for the jogger!).  I obviously didn't need a double stroller with just Eliot, and I know that some people will say I shouldn't even get one with Eliot because I won't use it.  However, we like to go for walks and there are two parks within a mile of our house.  I really like the idea of the Graco Ready to Grow stroller, which also allows for the older child to sit or stand.  This way, Eliot can try to walk as much as his future 2.5-year-old toddler legs will take him, but then he can hitch a ride like a big boy on the stroller.  This will also be useful for trips to the zoo or a walk on the boardwalk at the beach or provide a place of comfort when we stand around waiting for Daddy to finish one of his early morning races.  If anyone has any experience with this stroller (or a better one?), please let me know!  Eventually, we'll see if Eliot still enjoys the jog stroller and maybe get a double BOB.  ;)

Full-size Swing.  With Eliot, I got a small swing.  It was half the price and more portable.  Win-win, right?  I didn't exactly think about the fact that it would be less powerful and would not swing him when he got larger....  Actually, it never really served as a swing much at all.  It mostly was just a chair.  So many people say that swings are life-savers.  Maybe I'll find one to be helpful this time.

A King-sized Bed.  I've joked frequently that the next time around, I wouldn't buy a crib; I'd buy a king-sized bed.  We might co-sleep again.  We might not.  It all depends on the baby, really.  With Eliot, it made sense and felt necessary for my sanity.  Our next baby could be completely different.  Either way, I've got a crib (shower gift), an arm's reach co-sleeper, a portacrib (second-handed from my sister), and a bed.  Maybe we'll get a king-sized bed.  Doubtful.  :)

So, those are the main things I think we will need want to buy.  I'm sure I can find some of these off of Craigslist (the swing, maybe the Ergo) while others I'd like to buy new (the carseat and stroller).  Either way, my shopping list is a lot shorter this time around!

Short, Productive Days

These days sure go by fast lately.  Eliot has been such a grump in the mornings that it has been difficult to do anything before his nap.  I blame the teething--always the teething.  Either that or he just is not a morning person.  Last week, we even took him to the aquarium in the morning because we knew we'd have work to do in the afternoon.  The whole time, he whimpered and acted afraid.  Poor little guy.  Something is up with him.

We've had an exciting weekend, though.  My mom watched Eliot so we could go to an ODU basketball game for free with Josh and Kimmy!  Sure is weird to do adult things with other adults without my kid around.  I felt guilty the whole time.  Not guilty for leaving Eliot (I knew he was having a blast), but guilty for asking something of my mom.  I hate asking for favors, but she was probably enjoying one-on-one time with her grandson.

Kimmy and I with a very angry fan behind us.

After the game, Kimmy and Josh came over for dinner (blackbean and lentil sloppy Joes with cheese fries!) and to introduce our dogs.  They have the sweetest pitbull named Sookie.  And we have two dachshunds suffering from one big Napoleon complex.  Sookie was so gentle and meek while they yapped at her.  Introductions are difficult at first with our hard-headed doxies, but within 20 minutes, everyone was cool.  By the end of the night, our smallest dachshund (Dexter) and Sookie were wrestling.  We need them to be friends so they can have dog pool parties this summer.  Not to mention that Josh and Kimmy will feel more comfortable hanging out at our house if they aren't worrying about Sookie being crated for a long time at home.

Sookie is so soft with Eliot too.

Other than that, we have been settling in more, trying to get rid of lingering boxes, getting into a new routine, Eliot had his second haircut, and preparing for Eliot's birthday party.  We've had a few service appointments around here too, including a plumber for a known issue, our dishwasher, and still waiting on the washer and dryer.  Did I mention that we stepped into the 21st century and now have a dishwasher?  Yep, we got it installed Saturday morning (another adventure that involved taking the countertop apart...).  We haven't had a dishwasher in yearssss, so I don't even really remember what it is like to use one.  I plan to finally start a cycle this evening.

I feel like the days go by in a blur, and I know we've been busy, but it seems like we haven't accomplished anything.  Then when I type it all out, I guess we have gotten a lot done.

"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

When someone finds out that you're pregnant, there are a few questions that the person will probably ask.  How far along are you?  When are you due?  How are you feeling?  Have you thought of names?  When do you find out the gender?  And of course...

Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?

It's a simple, innocent question.  It's one I ask at times too.  But it can also be a question that results in a feeling of inadequacy.  I never want Eliot to think that I preferred that he be a girl instead of a boy.  I never want this second baby to think that I was at all disappointed in his or her gender.  People assume that since I have a boy already that I am hoping that this next baby will be a girl.  Maybe they think I want something different; maybe there is something to balance.  People seem to have the idea that Eliot is Christopher's son and a girl would be my daughter--that they're separate--when the truth is that I feel very close to my son just as much as if he were a girl.  I take joy in "boy" things, like watching sports with him, because I love him. I'm not that girly either, so I prefer playing with dinosaurs to dolls anyway.

The truth is that I don't know what I would choose if I could.  I would love to have another boy.  Seeing Eliot grow up with a brother seems like a beautiful dream.  On the other hand, I would love to have a girl to experience all of the girl things in life.  I have so much to give a girl that I don't think I'll pass on to Eliot, such as a pink paisley telecaster electric guitar and an antique doll house that my aunt Wanda bought me a few years before she died.  In my perfect little dream world, I would have two boys followed by a girl; however, I think we are only going to plan to have two children due to finances, career and education goals, and just how we want to grow our family in general.  Don't get me wrong--if I ended up pregnant with a third baby, we'd be nothing but thrilled.  This is just our plan.  So, what I'm trying to say is that no matter what, I'll be getting a little glimpse of that "dream scenario," so I'll be happy.

However, in all honesty, I am absolutely convinced that this is a little girl growing.  If I'm right, I'll probably just say I had a 50-50 chance and call it luck.  If I'm wrong, well, I guess I'm just wrong.  With Eliot, I simply knew he was a boy right away.  I don't know how; I just did.  Maybe I have good intuition.  Or maybe it was chance.  And this time around, I have known that this is a girl.  Also, everything in this pregnancy has felt different.  I'm of course open to the reality that I could be wrong, so I'm not getting emotionally invested in it.  I'm not buying any pink yet either or even looking at clothes or nursery possibilities.  We'll see in a few weeks.

In short, I guess I should just respond that we are hoping for a healthy baby.  :)

New Year, New Trimester

We made it to 2013!  I know it sounds silly, but I learned about the Mayan apocalypse in Spanish class every year in high school, so even though I didn't really believe in it, I always kind of worried that maybe the world wouldn't make it to 2013.  But here we are!

In 2012, we worked through a lot of hard times and uncertainty.  I tried to keep my eye on the good, though, because we had a lot of joy too.  Every day with Eliot keeps getting better and better.  Our little family has a lot to be thankful for, and most of the difficult things we faced in 2012 have come to a resolution as much as they can.

As I look forward to 2013, I am not putting too much pressure on myself.  This is always my approach to the new year.  I want to finish my dissertation.  I want to grow this baby and also provide Eliot with all of the love he needs.  I want to pay off more student loans (and we have a three-year plan to tackle them).  I want to give more.  And I want to read and write more....

And since I'm at a milestone in my pregnancy, I figured it was about time for my first lengthy baby update.

Yesterday marked 14 weeks for the baby and me.  We are now into the second trimester!  This pregnancy has been a lot different than my first.  Maybe I did have a stomach virus earlier in the week because I haven't gotten sick in a few days.  My morning sickness did last a bit longer this time (and I'm hesitant to say it is over).  I get bouts of headaches that last about three days about once a week, which I also had with Eliot.

As for cravings, it is never a matter of what I want, but what I think I can manage to get down.  Nothing sounds good.  I can't even look at fast food commercials.  At first, I wanted red meat all the time (ribs and steaks!), which is kinda weird since we generally limit eating meat to once a week and not in our home.  For a little while, I just wanted sour things, like lemonade and sour candy, but I am now wanting sweet desserts these days.  I fully anticipated wanting nothing but milkshakes and salads like I did with Eliot, yet that hasn't been the case.  I even bought milkshake supplies in preparation once we got our positive test.  Who knows what that means.

So far, I have gained three or four pounds.  I am showing a little, but it looks more like a food baby.  I wear a bellaband because it is hard to button the top button on my jeans.  Most of my shirts are kind of stretchy anyway, but I ordered a couple of maternity tee-shirts so I don't destroy all of my clothes.  Last time, I just had four maternity tank tops and one pair of jeans.  While this will probably be my last pregnancy, I'm trying to give myself a few more options while keeping in mind that accessories make all the difference.

At this point, I am most looking forward to finding out the gender.  I could technically find out in two weeks, but I'm planning to wait until I am 18 weeks just to be a little more sure.  We waited until 22 weeks with Eliot (it'd be $200 to find out at 18 weeks in Lynchburg, but there is a cheaper place here in Chesapeake), so this actually feels super early.  Maybe I'll write more on my suspicions and what I'm hoping for at another time.  We have a few names picked out too, but we will probably just wait until we have an official name before I announce it.

Honestly, sometimes I completely forget that I'm even pregnant when I'm feeling OK.  A human growing inside of you is always a bit incomprehensible, so I try not to feel guilty about it.  I mean, with Eliot, I was always wondering what it was going to be like.  I had more time to think back then.  Now life is busy in general and I'm trying to chase Eliot around as well.  And I know what it will be like to have a newborn.  And I'm not that nervous, really, just maybe nervous about balancing two, but not that worried.  For now, I stare at the ultrasound picture and try to replay it in my head.  I write letters.  I dream of holding our baby in July.  It's going by so very fast and I'm relieved to no longer be worrying all the time.