The First Few Days

It's hard to believe that our Jack will be a week old tomorrow.  Today was our due date, and I am so glad that I went ahead and got induced early for so many reasons.

Last Friday around noon, we brought Jack home.  Eliot was waiting for us at the front door and excitedly greeted us.  I was so glad to see him.  Eliot rocked Jack and poked him.

Chris's parents mentioned that Eliot didn't seem to be feeling the best, and Chris had been feeling bad in the hospital too.  It didn't take long for Eliot to curl up in my lap sounding congested and acting lethargic.  Yep, he and Chris had caught my mega cold.  Chris's family headed out of town shortly after we got home in order to give us all space.  We ended up trying to give Eliot some medicine and cuddling with him in bed.  I could tell he felt horrible and fell asleep laying on my chest.  I was worried that we were in for it....  My parents brought a veggie lasagna for us for dinner while Eliot slept on me on the couch and Jack slept on the boppy on the couch.  Eliot was so out of it that he didn't even wake up.  I had no clue how we were going to make it through the night with both kids needing me and Chris felt pretty horrible too.

However, it worked out all right!  Eliot went to sleep OK with some medicine and Jack went to sleep around midnight.  Jack slept so well that I had to wake him up for feedings.  The process of getting him back down took about an hour, but he would sleep great once I got him there.

From there, the days kind of blurred together.  Eliot seemed to be feeling a little better and was playing.  He loves Jack and doesn't seem jealous, but Eliot is extra clingy to me.  I had to be in sight at all times or else he'd scream for me and cry.  Not only was he sick, but I think he was afraid I was leaving again since my time in the hospital was the first time I had spent a night away from him.  Chris did what he could to help, but Eliot just needed some mom time, I suppose.  Even though Chris was feeling worse each day, he decided to be in charge of fun time for Eliot.

Jack took it easy on me, though.  He is generally a happy baby.  He will nap in the crib by himself and doesn't cry when he wakes up.  He eats great and about once an hour.  I'm working on getting him to go longer between feedings and to eat longer, but I'm not too worried about pushing it.  After he eats, he gets a little fussy because he has trouble burping and often spits up some.  While he might have a little upset tummy, I don't think it is reflux, but I'm keeping an eye out for that.

Jack likes being read to

and cuddling in the sling

and laying on a blanket outside

and watching Eliot make funny faces.

At Jack's doctor's appointment, I was happy to learn that he has gained a lot of weight.  From my understanding, people aim to get babies back up to their birth weight when breastfeeding within four weeks.  Jack was 6 pounds, 12 ounces at birth and then 6 pounds, 9 ounces when we left the hospital--which I am told is good.  At his appointment on Monday, he was 7 pounds, 5 ounces.  Just nursing--no pumping or formula.  The kid puts some milk down.

We're all so in love with our Jack.  It feels so natural for him to be here as part of our family.  I couldn't imagine how we'd all fit together, but we do.  Considering the fact that Eliot and Chris are sick and we're both still working from home, I bet it will get even easier in a week or so.

When Jack was Born

Jack Christopher Robinson is here!  Six pounds and twelves ounces, 19.5 inches long.  He arrived on 6/26 at 12:55 pm, just short of five hours of labor.  I couldn't believe it.

Giving birth for the second time was a completely different experience.  I got up in the morning knowing that I'd be induced and be giving birth later.  I showered, kissed our sleeping Eliot good-bye, and off we went to the hospital.

They broke my water around 8:00 am and I was at three centimeters.  After some blood work, they began my pitocin at 8:45 am, but I was already having contractions about three minutes apart and moderately intense.  I told the nurse and my doctor that I wanted to go ahead and get the epidural whenever I could because last time I went an extra four hours without it--and it was not fun at all.

About 10:00 am, the doctor came to administer the epidural.  As I lay there limp over a table trying my hardest not to move (with the knowledge that a very large needle would be going into my back), we talked about Jack Kerouac and Existentialism.  The epidural came at a good time because the contractions never reached that absolutely horrible place like they did with Eliot.  They hurt, but I could still keep my eyes open at least.

It wasn't too long after that when I started grumbling about other pains.  I couldn't feel my contractions, but I was feeling weird pressures.  But that couldn't be Jack already, right?  I mean, no way.  I wasn't expecting to have him until 4:00 pm optimistically, but more realistically around 7:00 pm.  Somewhere around 11:00 am, I couldn't take it anymore and asked the nurse if maybe something was going on.  Sure enough, I was at six and the pressure I was feeling was Jack making his way down.  That was fast.

Over the next hour, they had me change positions a few times because Jack's heart rate would go down and then come back up.  It wasn't a major cause for concern, but we hoped to level it out.  The pressure kept growing stronger and would intensify with contractions and then back off.  Around noon or 12:30 pm, I called the nurse again and said I felt so silly, but it was hurting a lot and didn't seem like nothing.  ...And I was at nine.  Whaaat?  She called the doctor to come immediately.  Chris frantically called his parents to tell them to come and bring Eliot right away.  My parents were there already, but his family had been watching Eliot at our house with plans to come later.  Fortunately, his mom and sister were already on the way, so Elizabeth came in quickly to take photos while I was breathing the best I could with tons of pressure and trying so hard not to push until the doctor came.  With Eliot, I suppose my epidural was turned up more, so I hadn't felt pressure like this before.

I don't know what time the doctor came, but they were set up and ready to go quickly.  As I pushed, the doctor said his heart rate was dropping again, so we needed to get him OUT.  After two or three rounds of pushes, Jack was born.  The doctor told me to reach down and grab him.  I did.  She said, "Well, pull him out."  He was slippery--I thought I needed help and was kind of out of it anyway.  I pulled him up and placed him on my chest.  He is safe.  Finally, he is safe, I thought.  He has hair.  He looks like Eliot, but he looks different.  As it turned out, the cord was around Jack's neck, which had caused his heart rate to go down.  I heard Chris choke back tears of joy, just like when Eliot was born, and the nurse asked if he was OK.  There our Jack was.  Born at 12:55 pm.  Just shy of five hours of labor.

 Chris kept Jack company while they cleaned him up and I tried to nurse before bringing in the family.

The first person to walk through the door to meet Jack was Eliot carried in by Christopher.  I was so happy to see him in this collision of worlds.  I had been missing, thinking, and worrying about Eliot all day while laboring and worrying about this new son at the same time.  I had just met our Jack, but I loved him dearly and wanted us all to be together and bond as a family.  I missed home and I yearned to build our new home with my husband and our sons, which I couldn't do instantly in our hospital room--I wasn't even cleaned up all the way yet. Eliot was cautious at first and a little confused.  Interested in Jack, but confused as to why I was laying in a bed and what all these machines were.  A little later, though, Chris's parents brought him back again when we were settled into our room and Eliot was all over Jack.  He wanted to find his feet, touch his arm, point to him, say his name over and over.  He loved him and asked to hold him.  Eliot did not show a hint of jealousy at this point, but I know I'll need to give Eliot his special, individual attention and affirmation while we all adjust.

Overall, things went smooth with Jack in the hospital.  He did a great job nursing.  Unlike Eliot, he slept in the bassinet (Eliot would only sleep while being held) fine and gave us about two and a half hours straight of sleep each night.

As for appearance, he has this amazing head full of dark brown hair.  I kept saying that maybe my heartburn was for something, but I didn't really believe it all the way since almost everyone in our family (with a few exceptions here and there) is born bald and then has blond hair as a child. Poor Eliot didn't have any hair to speak of until he was a year and a half.  Chris's dad has mentioned that Chris's uncle and also his great uncle (who happened to be named Jack too!) were both born with lots of dark hair, so perhaps he gets it from that side.  I am hoping that Jack's hair stays.  He looks similar to Eliot as a newborn, but his nose is slightly more broad.  His cheeks are also a little different.  Jack has dark blue eyes, which I suspect will either change to brown or hazel.  I know he'll keep changing from day to day, looking more like one of us and then the other, but I do know that he is pretty darn cute.

And the hospital photo:

He looks so much like Eliot in that hospital picture.

We were eager to get out of the hospital and go home perhaps moreso this time than with Eliot because we knew our little boy was waiting for us.  However, Eliot had so much fun with his grandparents and Aunt Elizabeth.  They even took him to Busch Gardens.  We thought we were never getting out of there because they hadn't done any of Jack's tests or pictures on Thursday.  How could they fit it all in (and also discharge me) on Friday morning?  Somehow, it worked out, Jack received all good reports, and we were home by noon.

Up next:  life with two.  Spoiler alert:  it's going great!

Life Lately

I've written a lot of "baby coming" posts lately because, well, that is where my mind has been.  The months came down to weeks and now down to days.  Just days.  Just FIVE days.

However, there has been more going on too, you know.  Last weekend was Father's Day.  I let Chris sleep in and while he went for a run, I told Eliot to draw a picture him and Daddy.  First, Eliot drew Chris and then himself.  And then he drew a "giant goose" chasing a bunch of people.  Just perfect.

I spent the rest of the day tidying up and getting things together.  We had my parents, sister and her family, and grandmother over to celebrate Father's Day, my mom's birthday, and my dad's birthday.  The first half of June is very busy for us and also includes both my sister and my wedding anniversaries.  We had a simple cookout and pool party.  I think everyone had fun despite running out of propane for the grill (oops).

Throughout the rest of the week, we've been working, doing laundry, and trying to have fun.  On a drive out to Pungo, we discovered that a local airport has a dinosaur garden, so the next day, we went by for Eliot to see the dinosaurs and palm trees.  We were able to see some planes take off too.

Wednesday was my last doctor's appointment.  Everything looked great and I'm still continuing to progress on my own, which means these little contractions (that I have hesitated to even call contractions) are paying off.  However, then I started to feel a little sick.  By that night, I had a fever and was so incredibly achy that I took three baths throughout the night and Chris kept asking me if I wanted to go to the hospital.  The next day, I called my doctor and was able to get my fever down with Tylenol.  I still felt more or less horrible, but the doctor said I was half a degree from needing to come in.  My mom offered to watch Eliot for me since I didn't feel well and Chris had work to do, but my parents both weren't feeling well either.  I didn't want to put that on them too.  I tried resting and cleaning some until Chris's parents came in town in the evening.  His dad is here for a conference and his mom is taking advantage of the location of the conference to play with Eliot.  Even though I felt sick, Chris took me to dinner while his parents played with Eliot, but I think I was the worst date ever.

Today my fever is gone even without medication.  Now I mostly just have a sinus infection of some sort, so I'm worrying less about it harming Jack or about Chris and Eliot catching it.  Chris, his mom, Eliot, and I went to see Monsters Univeristy at the mall, which was fun, but unfortunately Eliot lost interest in the last half hour.  It had been a long time since we took him to see a movie; I suppose he was out of practice. 

So, here I am.  Five days left--and today feel so close to being over.  I have a few small things to do before Jack comes, but nothing big.  Now I just wait.

38 Weeks

38 weeks today.  Eight days until I get induced.  I'm telling you, I feel so much less antsy this time around.

Not much has changed, really.  No contractions to speak of, just pains at night I think from the day and also from Jack moving all over the place.  Sometimes I hurt in the mornings too, so I try to rest up more.

Knowing I have so little time left has helped me to be more proactive.  While I always feel like my house is a mess despite my non-stop efforts, I've been cleaning a lot.  And doing other things too, like trying to keep all of the towels clean, all of the bills paid far in advanced, all of my grading done early, all of the dishes done and put away, all of the cars washed (when your "nesting" extends to the cars, you know you're close), and the pantry full of food.  I want to have everything ready for me to take a little "leave of absence" as coordinator of the home while I'm in the hospital.  I want our home to be ready to receive company at all times.  I can't keep everything straight in the house like I've been trying to, but at least it's better than it could be.

We took our maternity photos a few days ago, which I wrote about.  I think they look great!  Our house still doesn't have much in the way of our photos hung up on the wall, which I plan to change (they're just packed away in a box), but I am so excited to frame some of these and hang corresponding photos of me pregnant with Eliot.

I hadn't been nervous about hardly anything with this pregnancy or adjusting until recently.  Last week, I was nothing but excited and anxious.  I have felt so ready to be un-pregnant.  Now as we approach Jack's arrival, I am feeling a little worried about if I can handle everything--the birth, the adjustment, having a newborn again.  Can I do it all and do it well for our Jack?  I shouldn't worry, though, because I managed to do it the first time and now I know so much more.  I remind myself that I felt the same way when Eliot came.  I was so excited, but then when I sat on the hospital bed waiting for my pitocin to begin, four days overdue, I thought to myself, "I don't know if I'm prepared for this."

Eliot is so ready to be potty trained and I feel a little guilty about that.  He tells us when he is going sometimes and asks for diaper changes.  He breaks in on people in the bathroom and asks for his turn.  However, I don't want to start now, just barely a week before Jack comes, and then be inconsistent since I'll be adjusting to a newborn.  It's not like he's behind or anything--he isn't even two and a half--so my plan is to see how things go and aim to potty train him by the time Jack is a few months old.  Then I can really give Eliot the attention he deserves during the process.

I suppose I might have one more weekly update left before Jack comes.  Right now, he is moving all over the place, kicking, and adjusting.  I can't wait to meet our boy, settle into a routine as we find our new "normal," and be a family of four!

DIY Maternity Photos

I had some big plans for our maternity photos.  We'd go to the Botanical Gardens in Norfolk and they'd be awesome.  However, that plan continued to grow more complex.  I wanted to go on a weekday to avoid crowds, but we were getting some rain.  The garden I wanted to take photos in requires a bit of walking, which I'm not good at.  And perhaps most complicated of all, on the way to that garden is a kids' splashground area, which Eliot would sure want to play in.

There are some fields by our neighborhood with awesome buttercups.  Chris and I thought that would make a great alternative and we could go whenever.  Morning or evening light is the best, but apparently buttercups also close up around these times.  Oops.  We made the most of it anyway, and I love how the photos turned out!

And I realize that I am really missing my contacts.  I have been wearing just glasses for about six months now because my contacts started making my eye very irritated.  I only wore my contacts for about an hour here, yet my eye was already goo-ing up.  Yuck!  I'm calling the optometrist....  This is the first time I've had this problem in my 13 years of wearing contacts.

Chris and I take our own photos with a remote.  I generally set up the family shots and then run in.  Taking pictures with a toddler can be difficult and even moreso when there isn't a person standing behind the camera, but somehow we've taught Eliot to look at the camera and smile.  He says, "Cheeeese!  Yogaaa!" over and over.  It's so funny.  Sometimes it requires some tickles for smiles too.  And afterward he is rewarded with playground time.

I gotta say, though, I am pretty proud of how well these photo sessions turn out considering we take them ourselves in just about ten minutes. And we didn't get any ticks or chiggers!  It's the little things.

And just for fun and comparison, here I am at our 28 week (third trimester) photo session with Jack followed by a 37 week photo with Eliot.

When You're At Your Worst, or Happy Father's Day

What if someone saw every weak moment you had as a parent and when you are at your worst at parenting?  Every frustrated sigh.  Every time you snapped "no" on accident because you were stressed, doing three things at once, and overwhelmed.  Chris and I see almost every single one of eachother's weak moments as parents because we both work from home, so we're almost always around Eliot with one another all day.  I see every time Chris says "no" to playing to cars.  I know nearly every time that Chris loses his patience--and he also knows each time I'm not the best parent as well, but he never gives me a hard time.

I see him at his worst, and, you know what, Eliot is lucky.  Chris's worst is amazing.  And his best is unbelievable.

When I met Chris, kids weren't on our minds.  I was 17; he was 18.  We wanted independence, to be recognized as adults, and to stand on our own together.  And somewhere between getting married, buying our first house, getting jobs, and working on our doctorates, we got there.  And then we desperately wanted a family.  We were blessed with our Eliot quickly and ever since Eliot came around, he has been Chris's world.  With Jack on the way, Chris has said that he feels like he "won the lottery," and it is all about to get even better with another son to share life with.

Chris swims in the freezing pool with Eliot almost every day.  He has Eliot help him with chores, like washing the cars or cutting the grass.  He plays sports with Eliot and throws him higher in the air than I can.  He takes Eliot on one-on-one adventures, like to the aquarium, Busch Gardens, the zoo, for runs, and (perhaps silly sounding but Eliot's favorite) out to breakfast for a plain biscuit from McDonalds.

I recently found this photo from last summer.  I had completely forgotten about it.  Maybe I didn't post it because I thought it was too grainy or the colors weren't right, but right now, it is one of my favorite photos of my husband and son together.  I thought Eliot was so big back then at a year and a half--he looks tiny now.  And I think Chris is so handsome.  It really shows how comfortable Eliot is with his dad.  And I love Chris for being such a great dad, for caring so much, and always wanting to be there.

Eliot and Jack are two of the luckiest boys in the world.

Dear Eliot: Two Years, Five Months

Dear Eliot,

You are doing and saying everything these days.  It's amazing how you have turned into such a big boy in just a handful of months.  Your development just sky rockets every month.

You have quite the imagination.  You like to pretend to be animals, especially a baby t-rex.  You have a few imaginary "friends" already--a momma bird, a baby bird, and a frog in your pocket.  You talk about these animals coming and going, ask where they are, and pretend to hold them.

 

For a few months, you have been making your toys talk and setting up storylines.  Usually, one toy needs help, so I help it out, and then it needs help again.  And again and again.  However, this past month, your storylines have grown more complex.  The two cars are scared of the big truck, but then they learn that the big truck is friendly.  The three cars want to race, but then they crash, but Mater comes to help them and Doc fixes them up.  And then they crash again.  Things like that...  Also, everything is a family to you.  You have so many Maters that you assign each one a role:  daddy, mommy, and baby.  Same with your McQueens and trains and race cars and bath toys.  The funny thing is that you are consistent with which one is the dad, mom, and baby.  However, if you have just two, then it is daddy and baby (not mommy and baby).

You sure love your dad lately.  For a while, you would refuse affection from him and I think it really hurt his feelings.  I blamed the stubble on his face--it is itchy.  These days, though, you ask for Daddy at night.  You ask for Daddy when he's in the other room.  You ask for Daddy when he is running.  You give him kisses and hugs.  You two love to play together, and I'm glad you got over your "Mom is affection and comfort; Dad is for helping me dunk" assigned roles phase.

Your speech continues to develop and you talk in full sentences with first person most of the time.  Sometimes you ask us what things are when we know that you know the answer.  Here's the thing:  you're quizzing us.  And sometimes you tell me that I gave you the wrong answer and you correct me.  Some objects have more than one name, little dude.  I'm happy to see that you are developing empathy rather well also.  I try not to complain or show my discomfort with this pregnancy, but sometimes getting up is just hard or I get bad contractions.  You notice, Eliot, and you say, "Oh, Ma hurt?  I'll kiss it!"  You come over and pull up my shirt to kiss my belly.  You do the same for your dad too when he stubs his toe or you discover a bruise on his arm.  It's adorable.

I can't believe that just a few months ago I was so worried about your tantrums in public.  You only have about one tantrum a week now, it seems, and you're always getting better.  We've gotten to the point that we can bargain with you too, which helps.  If you start asking for something you can't have at the moment, I tell you to wait and then we'll do it--and this seems to work, actually.  I didn't think you'd understand waiting or even be OK with waiting at this age, but you've become quite relaxed lately.  I mean, it doesn't always work that way, and you do a lot of things we tell you not to, like running around the pool and chasing the cat when she wants to be left alone, but you're not screaming and crying in fits like you might have been before.  You're still a toddler and we're still working on listening, but you're doing an amazing job at growing in that area, especially when we go out.

We have about a week and a half left of you being an only child.  Your brother Jack will be here before we know it and I'm a little nervous about the transition.  You adore babies, so I think we'll be fine.  You have been wanting to spend a lot of time in his nursery lately, and you call it the "baby's room" or "Jack's room".  You play with his toys (many of which used to be your toys) and push and "feed" your "babies" in his swing.  Sometimes you take his things, look at me, and say, "MY toys."  You know that I have been telling you that they are Jack's toys, and you know it is wrong--that is why you give me that look.  You are waiting for my reaction.  Sometimes I tell you that they aren't yours, but Jack will share.  Sometimes I just give you a look because I don't want to make a game of it.  I know we'll have to work on sharing, but maybe we can figure it out by the time it matters.

You've been doing great swimming lately.  The water is still too cold for me, so we haven't gotten a ton of practice in yet, but at the beginning of pool season, you were a bit afraid to go out on your own.  Now you kick and spin around by yourself in a float.  When you are in a life jacket, you still want someone near, but your dad has taught you to swim to him.  You refuse to use your hands still, but you kick so hard that you do go toward him.  By the end of the summer, I bet you'll be jumping in (with a life jacket, of course).

When we took you to the bay for the first time this year, you were cautious at first, but then asked us to take you all the way out to the boats.  You just love the water and the sand at the "big sandbox".  I tried so hard to get a photo of you at least looking up (not even at me, just not down), but you were captivated by the water and sand.

 

You had your fourth haircut this month....  You just sat there perfectly the whole time and only got nervous at the end when she pulled out the clippers.  Then we gave you a lollipop and you were completely fine with it.

You're still crazy about basketball.  I let you pick out your clothes a few times lately and you always choose your basketball jerseys.  Your first pair of Jordans grew too small--or you grew too big, I suppose--so we took you to the mall to pick out new ones.  You were beyond stoked to get a new pair and tell us about your "basketball shoes" all the time.

You're such a big boy, Eliot.  Looking back at photos from a year ago, I can't believe how much you've grown.  When Jack arrives, you'll seem even bigger.  I don't feel ready to lose you as the "baby," but that isn't really up to me.  And we do have so much fun!

In my earlier letters to you, I wrote a lot of hoping to build your confidence and self-image.  I wanted you to feel secure in yourself and also in our love for you.  I have to say, either it is your personality, simply being a toddler, being an only child (for now), or maybe we did something right, but you are incredibly confident in yourself.  You are independent and strong-willed, but compassionate, sweet, and look to us for support when you need it.  I pray that never goes away.