Bye-bye Bunny: Our Mr. Rufus

Last night, we lost our bunny of nearly nine years.

This might seem especially silly to some (or probably many) people, but our rabbit, Mr. Rufus, was more to me than just a bunny.  Some people see rabbits as similar to hamsters--they are rodents--and others set their rabbits in a hutch outside.  Mr. Rufus was more like a cat or a dog to us.  She was litter-trained.  She had free run of the house most of the time.  She would jump on the couch for snuggles.  Even though we also had two dogs and a cat, Mr. Rufus was in charge of the house.  The other animals were interested in her, but respected her.  She loved junk food, especially Doritos, but we kept her to a strict diet of Oxbow bunny food, hay, and fresh greens.  She loved to have her forehead rubbed (she would grind her teeth like a cat purring) and ears massaged.  She was definitely a member of the family.

Growing up, my family nickname was Katie Rabbit because my sister wanted my middle name to be Rabbit.  I guess in this way I was set up to have a special, soft spot for rabbits since before birth.  As a kid, rabbits were always my favorite animal.  I begged for a bunny, but my parents always said no.

When I was 18, I finally convinced my dad that a Holland mini lop would grow no larger than the palm of his hand.  Sorry, Dad, but I was thinking of a dwarf rabbit.  Mr. Rufus grew much, much larger, but I didn't care. 

When I first got her in fall 2004.

You might be wondering why she was named "Mister".  When I got her, the pet store told me that she was a male.  When she was old enough to be neutered, we took her to the vet, but she came back spayed instead.  She was six months old by then, so the "Mister" just stuck anyway.  

I treated her like a puppy--no, I treated her like a child.  During the first couple of years with Mr. Rufus, I took her everywhere I could and places that I shouldn't.  We snuck her into Chris's dorm.  We took her on "walks" on a leash.  We took her to play on the playground equipment at the park.

In the spring, I took her for bike rides.

In the summer, I put her in the pool.  Did you know that rabbits are excellent swimmers?

In the fall, we carved pumpkins together.  

In the winter, she played in the snow.

I slowly realized that she probably didn't enjoy these activities and just went along with it, so I stopped lugging her everywhere as much.  However, that didn't mean that she was "left behind" or forgotten in any way.

When I went away to Longwood for college, I brought Mr. Rufus with us.  I lived in a dorm, but Chris lived in an apartment with three other guys, so Mr. Rufus lived with him.  Looking back, it must have seemed so strange to bring a rabbit to college, but to me, she was one of the most important parts of my life.  I couldn't leave her behind.

Mr. Rufus in the fall garden.  I had this grand image in my head of her enjoying greens straight out of our garden.  She was not interested; she always was a little nervous outside.

Through the years, Mr. Rufus was ever-present in the action of our home.  We kept her cage in the den so she would always be around us.  We let her run around the house whenever we could.  Chris always said that he hoped she'd still be around when we eventually had kids.  He wanted to share her with them.  And then we had Eliot.  Eliot loves all animals, but he really loved that bunny.  In fact, the first time he pulled to a stand, he used her cage.

Eliot grew from a baby to a toddler.  He had to be taught to be gentle, but he was generally good with her.  He loved to help feed her.  He would patiently scratch her head while she sat safely in her cage.  And almost every day, Eliot would lay on the couch and beg for me to set Mr. Rufus next to him.  She would snuggle next to him and he loved to scratch her head.  He called her "Foo-foo" before he could say "Rufus".

Eliot and Mr. Rufus sharing an apple.

Mr. Rufus really was in charge of the other pets.  Here is Dexter submitting to her while she scented his nose.

Last night, we were letting Mr. Rufus run around the house like usual.  We've been doing this since she was a little bunny.  And then when I went into our bedroom, she was just laying there dead.  Eliot saw her.  She had some loose fur around her and Eliot cried, "Rufus apart!  Rufus apart!"  I took him away and got him to sleep on the couch while Chris buried her in the backyard.  I have no idea what happened.  She had slowly been losing weight over the past handful of months.  She was old for a bunny.  Rabbits have heart attacks easily, so I am guessing that is what happened.  I feel really bad for Eliot because when he woke up this morning, he shouted, "Rufus apart!"  The poor boy thinks his rabbit just fell apart, I guess.

I try to keep in mind that she lived a long time and had a good life for a rabbit.  So many rabbits are bought at Easter when they are cute and tiny, and then their owners put them in a cage in a corner or drop them off at a humane society.  Mr. Rufus was loved throughout all of her eight and a half years.  I hope that she knew that we liked her a lot.

Moneyz

It's rude to talk about money, they say.  I try not to ask others about their money, even if I'm just trying to be friendly, but it's something I want to always talk to my sons about.  I was involved in my parents' money discussions--not that I was making financial decisions with them, just that they tried to explain what they were doing and built budgets along with me for my money.  My college was budgeted out completely, down to how much food my rabbit ate a month.

I'm the person who is more likely to stuff money under my mattress, not even count it, and sit on it.  I hate buying expensive things--and when Chris says he wants to buy something for more than $30, I always say no, that it is a bad idea, at first.  That makes me feel better because I know my mattress money is there if I need it.  But money doesn't grow like that, and money certainly isn't accounted for in this way either.

Chris and I are young, but we have a family.  We wanted to start a college fund for the boys early.  Our hope is that we can pay for their undergraduate degrees, so we're trying to come up with a plan to start now, even if it is small.  And then there's our retirement....  That seems a long ways off, but we don't have a retirement plan through work, so it is up to us.  There are so many options, and people from the outside like to tell you what to do "for sure," but we're the ones who have to put the money aside and live with the consequences, both good and bad, of our choices.  And should you focus aggressively on retirement when you also pay tuition in cash and have student loans?  So many booming voices proclaim that we can do both, yet I'm still settling into a new house with a new budget that I am piecing together with a new baby on the way.  It's a lot to organize right now.

So, as you can see, I am allowing myself to become overwhelmed.  Term v. whole life insurance.  ROTH IRAs.  VA 529 plans.  Setting up a will and a trust?  And what about the "things" in life that I want to buy as we enjoy life?  Like a vacation every now and then (I feel like everyone else travels so much more than us) or a larger vehicle in about five years?  Oh, goodness.  Suddenly, my mattress is looking like a less complicated place to keep my money.  I try to think of what Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman would say.  I reflect on our personal situation, our goals, and our hopes.  I try to keep in mind that the fact that we're working on these things at this age is great.  We don't have to invest heavily now, but getting started (or even waiting six months) is something I will be glad we began early on.

Feeling Spontaneous: Eliot's First Busch Gardens Trip

Do you ever do things that you think seem reckless, but they're not?  They're just fine, actually?  That was us yesterday.

Both of our weekly meetings were canceled.  We didn't have much work to do.  I told Chris I felt cooped up.  "Let's go to Busch Gardens!"

Chris and I grew up an hour from Busch Gardens.  I went as a kid and a teenager; Chris went constantly in the summer with his friends when he was in high school.  However, he and I had never been together--and we've been married for almost six years and dated three years before that.

We don't do much spontaneous these days, so it felt wrong.  It felt like I should get a permission slip filled out first, but we didn't have any commitments, Busch Gardens is an hour away, and we had been planning to go whenever it warmed up enough.  Plus, if you're a Virginia resident, you get a season's ticket for pretty much the price of one admission.  We figured this could be something fun to do with Eliot on days that we don't know what to do and we feel like getting out of town.  It's far enough to feel special, but close enough to be convenient.

We waited until Eliot's naptime and put him in the car to sleep.  And then we drove!  He passed out right away and woke up 15 minutes before we arrived.  Maybe that seems silly to go in the afternoon, but it would be warmer (55 degrees?) and we knew we'd only stay a short while with Eliot.

Eliot loved the train.  He loved pointing at all of the castles and dragons.  He met Elmo.  He rode three rides.  And one of those rides, he had to ride alone.  And we were so nervous, but he demanded to go on the ride since it was little ladybug cars.  He just went along, and I thought he was looking for us for a second, but when he saw us, he just yelled, "Vroooooom!"  I need to learn to trust him more and allow him to grow in his independence--he's bigger than I think he is.

Eliot also had a great time at Land of the Dragons.  How he understands the difference between a dinosaur and a dragon, I do not know, but he gets it.

We stayed for about two hours until Eliot seemed tired, I knew I was tired (pregnant ankles...), and it was growing colder and windier.  I think we left the park at just the right time, and Eliot only got upset as we were leaving because he wanted to ride the train again (but we'd have to go around the whole park to get to the exit and it was really too windy).  Next time, little buddy!

And there will be a next time!  Chris is talking about going again on Monday when it is warmer.

26 Weeks

At 26 weeks, those kicks are getting a little painful.  They don't always hurt, but sometimes Jack will give me a really good jab and it takes a second to re-gain my composure.  He moves frequently and loves to kick when I'm eating.  He's been giving me a 4:00 am wake-up call each morning, but I don't mind too much.  I would probably be awake anyway.  I swear he is doing bicycle kicks in there.  I love to feel him move.

Those baby movements are what finally calmed my anxiety about Jack's development.  I was a bucket of worries throughout my first trimester.  And then those worries kept coming until I felt flutters at 15 and a half weeks.  After our 20-week ultrasound, I felt relieved to know that Jack was growing fine.  Now that I feel him move so often and so strong, I don't worry anymore.

I started doubling up on my morning prenatal vitamin in hopes of getting some more energy.  It helps some days, so I'm not sure if it is the vitamins or just luck.

I've really slacked with exercising this time around, and I blame the weather.  With Eliot, I found out in late April that we were expecting and already had an exercise routine, so it was warm and easy to go on walks.  I exercised almost every day until my third trimester (which also happened to be when it got cold).  This time, it has been so cold the entire time.  When we've had warm days, I've gone on walks, but I think that this time I'll end up STARTING to exercise in my third trimester instead of stopping.  And, yes, I should have exercised the whole time indoors with prenatal yoga or something, but I'm just not that good of a person.

Yesterday, I weighed 109 pounds after breakfast.  That is a weight gain of 13?  That still puts me on pace for a pound a week, which would be 27 total.  My goal is to keep it about 30.  At the same time, I'm trying to keep in mind that I don't have that much control over my weight.  I eat well, my portions are smaller than my non-pregnant self, my snacks in between meals are healthy, and my "indulgences" are limited.  Lately, my cravings have turned more to sour things again.  They always seem to come at night after dinner when it is inconvenient to leave the house.  Taco Bell has iced lemonade, which is pretty awesome.  I've had one and am trying not to get another one for a while.  Instead, I make a strawberry-banana-orange juice smoothie.

I've been horrible at applying cocobutter this time around.  The kind I bought was in a fancy bottle.  Surely, it would smell nice, right?  It smells like cucumbers and I can't stand cucumbers--I hate their smell, taste, texture, and everything about them.  I quit using it.  I mean, who even knows for certain that it works, right?  RIGHT?!  Then I noticed the beginnings of a stretch mark on my belly!  Ah!  I didn't get any on my belly with Eliot (just some on my thighs, which I had issues with in high school anyway).  I went ahead and bought the same, classic Palmer's cocobutter that I used with Eliot and you better believe I've been applying that stuff daily.

When I hit the third trimester in two weeks, we'll take some portraits like we did with Eliot.  I have some poses in mind, and I'm pretty excited to see them leave my brain and become photos we'll cherish.  Then we'll take more around 36 weeks like I did with Eliot, I suppose.  I don't always feel like I look my best these days, but pictures are important to me--and I know I won't regret it.

We're planning to have a "Yeah, Jack" party in a couple of months.  I don't think anyone is planning to throw me a shower (and that isn't a hint I'm trying to drop, really--I swear).  However, we still want to celebrate with family and friends, so we're having a little pool party at the beginning of June in honor of Jack.  Gifts are appreciated, but not expected.  It is important to me to celebrate our boy, even though we don't need many "things," and this will be kind of our last "sha-bang" before Jack arrives.  I can't waiiiit and would do it earlier, but I want the pool to be warmer.

I have three months and one week exactly until my due date.  Sometimes that sounds like a long time; sometimes it seems so short.  I feel like I should buy a pack of diapers or SOMETHING, but we have time.  And I had my shower with Eliot at 26 weeks (I know that's super early, but it was due to work schedules and having to come in town for the shower), so we were able to figure out what else we needed and make those purchases.  I'm trying to remind myself that we will have a whole month (or maybe a little less or more) after our "Yeah, Jack" party to buy all those things.  Also, I keep telling myself that if Jack came today, I'd send someone to Target for a couple packs of onesies and diapers--we'd be fine for survival mode.  Then there are some important things that I need, like a working thermometer (can anyone everrr find a good baby thermometer?); some things that would be convenient, like light-weight swaddling blankets, a swing, and a cushion for the rocking chair; and some things I simply want to be nice, like Jack's very own baby blanket, fitted sheets, and mobile.  So, yeah, in the world of survival mode, we're OK, so no reason to stress.  I might go baby shopping in a few days anyway because I have a 20% coupon to Kohl's and I haven't bought the babe much.  I just feel an itch to get a few little things--and I realistically only have a month or so left before I don't feel like moving at all anymore.

Spring Cleaning and Sleeting

The calendar says "spring," yet it is sleeting.  I suppose March is one of those months that can go either way weather-wise, but it seems that this winter simply won't call it quits.  The past few days, though, have been good for getting work done around the house.  Maybe it's the nesting, but, man,we've done a lot.

Chris is great about doing yard work.  He never complains and is rather proactive.  I always tell him that it can wait, but he does it anyway.  Our shed has a pergola, which looks nice, but it also had all of this... plant? ... growing on it.  In fact, the vine or whatever had gotten so out of control that it rotted the roof of our shed!  We knew when we moved in that we'd need to tackle it our first year here.  Over the past couple of weeks, Chris has been hacking at it by himself.  Then this weekend, my dad gave him an extra hand and got alllll of the growth down in less than an hour!  And next comes repairing the shed....  Oh man....

I've been trying to get the boys' rooms more personalized.  The rooms have been "together" for some time, but they didn't have any pictures on the walls.  To me, pictures are really what adds the final touch to a room.  I had Chris help me find the frames I needed for both Eliot's room and Jack's room.  Then began the fun game of measuring and leveling.  I'm not the best at hanging pictures in a line, but it sure drives me crazy when they're crooked.

I also hung these two pictures above Jack's crib.  I know it looks slanted on the left, but it's just because I didn't take the photo straight.  I have a couple more pictures to hang in Jack's room and then his room will be mostly complete.  We just need to order a cushion for the rocking chair (never got one with Eliot and reallyyyyy regretted it), find a place for Chris's surf board, and eventually buy the bedding for Jack.  Clothes are another story.

Then came the room I have been dreading.  I love to clean, but I am so bad at organizing.  I hate going through boxes of "stuff" that I don't know what to do with.  Chris has been encouraging me, though, that we should just tackle the room over the garage.  It's another "play room" of sorts for Eliot and guest bedroom when we have company (even though we don't have a bed for it...), so it has been easy to ignore over the past three months.  However, we finally did it!  I know this picture is dark (darn sleet) and non-descriptive, but that room used to be full of boxes.  Eventually I'd like to bring more life and function to it, but for now it just rather empty.  I'd like to get a couch of some kind or maybe a daybed for guests; at this point, we're just not looking to spend money on furniture that isn't really necessary.  I know some day it will be Eliot and Jack's video game room.

We recently bought ourselves some new sheets too.  All of our sheets had holes in them thanks to Dexter's puppy gnawing habit when we got him and were discolored.  I guess letting dogs sleep in bed with you kind of wears sheets down faster.  I think we last bought sheets around the time Eliot was born, so we were due.  These sheets were just $20, cheap ones from Target, and although they aren't the most comfortable ever, it really makes a difference to have new sheets.

 

 So, it has been gloomy outside, but we've been making the inside of our home pretty.  My heart is hoping for warmer days so much, in fact, that I bought that summer hammock I've been telling everyone about.  It was on sale half price, so I told Chris it could be my Easter present (not that we exchange Easter presents).  I have to justify everything that I buy for myself.  I will sit in that hammock forever--we're going to hang it under the shed's pergola by pool.  Yessss.

Style Attempts: Maternity Ed. 3. Bags

I'm not all that girl-y.  I'm not super into bags or purses, but I used to get excited to buy one new purse a year.  I don't really care about expensive brands, like Coach, but instead like "old granny" purses from Urban Outfitters or simple bags from Target.  I felt like I was indulging if I spent $40 on a bag.

When Eliot came around, I didn't want to get a really "baby"-looking diaper bag.  I mean, I didn't care if it looked like a diaper bag, but I didn't want one with pastel blue or teddy bears.  I picked out a simple, dark green bag online for about $15.  It worked, but I didn't love it.

I discovered Petunia Pickle Bottom.  They have the most gorgeous purses and diaper bags with beautiful patterns.  I drooled over these bags, but at $129, I had never spent that kind of money on a purse.  For my birthday that year, Chris really spoiled me.  He gave me the most expensive ($129), beautiful diaper bag I had ever seen.  I loved it!  My previous diaper bag became our "beach bag".

Prettiest bag ever, right?

The diaper bag had plenty of pockets and space so I could bring all of the essentials for Eliot and then some (sometimes I even carried along our clunky DSLR camera).  I was always getting compliments on my bag and it made a great accessory.  Let's be honest, though.  If you are using one bag every day with a child, eventually it is going to start showing some wear.  When Jack comes in July, my bag will be two years old.  That's pretty good for a bag, I think!

Chris offered to buy me a new Petunia Pickle Bottom bag for Christmas, but I said I wanted to wait.  I wanted to get a more spring-y pattern this time and figured it would be better to wait until my birthday in the summer.  I am using a diaper bag less anyway--I usually just put my wallet in my pocket and toss a diaper and wipes in the car.  If I am going somewhere for a while, I put some snacks in a tote bag.  Maybe it could be a "Jack is here!" present too.

If I could have two bags, I totally would get a new Petunia Pickle Bottom bag, but I decided to try something different this time.  With two little ones, I think I might need access to both of my hips more frequently, so I'm hoping to get something with a more messenger bag feel.  I actually came across Maranda Lee's Etsy shop when I was pregnant with Eliot, but the bag I liked sold out before I bought it--and I was feeling super cheap since we had to buy so many baby things.  These diaper bags (and purses) come in size options, including small, medium, and large, and start as low as $68 for the small diaper bag.  I'll probably look into a medium one because I don't need something too big (and I am small myself).  I love the fabric options, the pockets, and how it doesn't necessarily look like a diaper bag (you know, pastel blue with teddy bears).

I haven't gotten a new bag in so long, but I think I'm just going to wait so I can savor the excitement closer to when Jack comes.  And Petunia Pickle Bottom sells Ergo carriers with amazing patterns, so maybe I'll get one of those since I was planning to use an Ergo carrier this time.  Sometimes I feel silly oogling over baby things, but I rarely buy nice things for myself, so maybe it is OK to indulge in a few new, possibly expensive baby items with a new little one on the way, especially since we've had so little to buy for Jack since we are re-using so much from Eliot.  Three and a half more months til Jack gets here!  Can't waittt!

Just Because He's an Awesome Dad

I write a lot about Eliot, but little about myself and less about Christopher.

I have this whole kid raising thing easy.  My husband works from home, and, yeah, we both have to do work at the same time at points, but I always have a helper (and he always has a helper in me).  I can always shout from across the house, "Hey, can you grab me a diaper?"  No problem.  Don't feel like putting Eliot in his car seat?  Chris does it most of the time.

But more than helping throughout the day, Chris is an amazing dad to Eliot (and Jack too) in ways I just can't compete with.  Eliot comes to me for cuddles, but he knows Chris is the one always ready to play and can throw him in the air much higher.

Eliot requests to play football allll day, every day.  At 8:45 pm when we're just tired, he approaches Chris with football in hand, pointing at his back.  "Tackle me!  Tackle me!"  I can tell Chris is simply exhausted and wants to call all of the chasing a night, yet he gets up anyway and they're running through the house.  Eliot can always count on his dad.

I mentioned before that Eliot has been obsessed with this idea of driving the car lately.  He really thinks he has a license (or is unaware of this requirement and also the need to be able to reach the pedals).  There have been daily tantrums over this.  Yesterday, Chris let him play in the car even though I said it wouldn't end well.  But what do I know?  Eliot turned the steering wheel, adjusted the windshield wipes, and pressed buttons.  And then when Chris said it was over, it was fine.  Sometimes Daddy knows best.

Of course, there's more to being a good dad than playtime.  Chris spends lots of time with Eliot and takes him on one-on-one adventures, but he is actively involved in the less fun aspects of parenting too, like discipline, sleep transitioning, food preparation, and diapers.  If Chris is in the room, he offers to help me change every single diaper.  And if I know Eliot has a wet one to be changed and I ask, he does that too.  If Eliot is being a moody eater or asks for a smoothie, Chris is much more likely than me to jump up and create an amazing, yummy, nutritious smoothie with greens, fish oil, and fruit for Eliot.  Did I mention that Chris does almost all of the grocery shopping entirely by himself?

Chris is always trying to show Eliot the things he loves and then celebrates Eliot's unique interests too.  They've already ran two races together.  When Chris goes for a run, Eliot cries that he wants to run too--and Chris takes him in the jogger whenever it is warm enough.

p.s.  In the photo below, Chris won first place for his age group and tenth overall! Chris is too humble to tell anyone this, so I brag for him.

Chris is already a great dad for Jack too.  He makes sure I eat well; he encourages me to exercise and also rest.  He helped me pick out a good prenatal vitamin.  He reminds me to use cocobutter.  He listens to me complain and offers empathy.  I can't tell you how many times he has praised me and said how hard it is to be a woman (with all sincerity), which always makes me laugh (because he really means it and says Beyonce would back him up).  He feels Jack's kicks and checks up on how Jack is doing multiple times throughout the day.  He loves his boys, both of them, and is the best dad I could imagine for my boys.

Nothing makes me love him more than watching him love our sons.