Sickness and Re-connecting Despite the Collective Roar

It has been such a long time since I have written consistently on here. So much of it has been this relentless sickness that has been following our family.

In the beginning of January, Eliot developed a typical cold. We had finally come out of our stomach virus issue that plagued the whole family over Christmas, but I was hopeful that it would pass. At the same time, Jack was teething pretty bad and constantly crying. Well, it didn't pass. Instead, Jack and Eliot both developed sinus infections. With the weather being cold, we couldn't go out to play much, and I really didn't want to take them to our usual indoor fun places (like the aquarium) to avoid spreading our germs. However, the boys were both on antibiotics, so I was, once again, hopeful that we'd all be better soon and the weather might warm up.

In the mean time, we tried to keep busy with trips to the beach whenever it was warm, outings to get icecream, and we even went to Build-A-Bear to make Ninja Turtles. We were all feeling so incredibly cooped up, and Eliot was bouncing off the walls all the time and not listening when I tried to calm him down. Who could blame him, though? Things started to feel tense constantly because I felt a total lack of control. I absolutely adore my boys, and I love their bond, but, man, they can form quite the team of insanity when they work together. At the end of the day, I felt so fried and expected better behavior since I had been reminding and arguing with the boys alllll day, but the evening is when their behavior is the worst.

"Don't push your brother. I said, 'Don't push your brother!' Oh my gosh. Don't grab him by the arm! Stop pulling himmm!"

"But he's laughing! He's having fun!"
"I know, but you're going to hurt him!"

I felt like we never were going to get along again until the weather would warm up so they could run outside.

And then, one week after starting the antibiotics, the rash started. It was a Wednesday. I was getting ready for work when I noticed that Eliot had some marks on the back of his neck. He had been complaining about feeling itchy in the morning.... And it kept spreading. I made him a doctor's appointment right away, which Chris took him to. They concluded that it was an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. So, Benadryl it was.

The next afternoon, it spread onto his face. He suddenly had a fever of 101. His ankle also started to swell, which the doctor said to look out for as a problem. I took him into urgent care that night, which I kind of felt like maybe it wasn't completely necessary, but the nurse said I should. Also, they gave him a steroid to help him fight the allergy since the antibiotics would still be in his system for a number of days (even though I stopped giving it to him). As Eliot lay his head on my lap on the examining table, wearing only a hospital gown, he looked up at me and said, "You're my special girl." In that moment, after weeks of frustration and feeling like the worst disciplinary, I felt close to my son again. I felt bad that it took that--a trip to urgent care--for us to get some one-on-one time and re-connect.

We came home and I jokingly posted this cheetah-face picture of Eliot

In the morning, I couldn't believe it. His rash was almost completely cleared up. He wasn't itching at all. He excitedly talked about going to school and wrote his name on all of his Valentines for his classmates--a new accomplishment for us. I thought we had beat it, but then more trouble came after school. Since he was doing so much better, we were supposed to meet friends at an indoor play place, but about an hour after getting home from school, he started to say he couldn't walk. Both of his knees and his left ankle were super swollen; he didn't even have a clear ankle. Whenever he stood or tried to walk, he would cry. Instead, our friends came over to play, which really worked out well and he was able to play while sitting down. He did manage to walk eventually without bending his knees. I was really getting worried even more, but there seems to be a lot of cases of swollen joints with an amoxicillin allergy. I planned to take him to the doctor again in the morning if the swelling was still there, but it was completely gone and he acted normal the next day.

So now that both of the boys are over their sinus infections and Eliot has beat this allergy, I noticed that Eliot's nose is running again. Sigh. It is just a little bit and it is clear, so maybe it won't become something worse.

Out of this whole experience, though, I have recognized that I need to set aside some one-on-one time with each of the boys. When Jack was born, I tried to make a point to go off with Eliot alone to make sure he knew he was still important, but each time Eliot wanted Jack to come too. And as Jack got older, he'd cry at the door if I tried to take Eliot somewhere alone. They love being with each other that much--they didn't want to leave the other one behind, so I kind of stopped trying. Even if I'm just taking Eliot to the grocery store with me while Jack naps at home with Chris or quietly reading books to Jack in his room, I need that time to re-connect with them. I love taking them on adventures, and they love experiencing everything together, but the two together around the house can get overwhelming (they feed off one another), so I need that time for it to be less chaotic and to hear my boys' voices individually instead of a collective roar.