Dissertation: DONE

This dissertation process has been long, much longer than I anticipated. I am quite honestly embarrassed at times by how long it took me since I had hoped that it would only take a year. I mean, I finished all of undergrad in three years. How could a dissertation take that long too? I ran into so many snags along the way with my study and "life" happened, both good and bad. Working full time, raising two little ones, and finishing a doctorate is hard. No matter how long it took, the end result remains:  I made it through. Somewhere along the line, I had to reconcile the fact that I am no longer a 20-year-old without any commitments other than attending school. No, I had a family and a full-time job. If I were to do this and do it well, it would take longer.

As I have researched and written, these boys have grown up. I don't say that in a way to lament missing out because I was pre-occupied with writing. For the most part, they rarely saw me write. I made time for them, and sacrificed my sleep when I needed to meet a goal. Maybe I could have finished faster if I hadn't put them before my work--no, I know I could have. Instead, I tried my hardest and worked my fastest and most efficiently while also loving on them and giving them my all. And that's not something I'm embarrassed of.

Now that it is done, I don't suspect too much will change. I have a job in my field that I love already. I get to change my email signature. All this time, I have felt a dark cloud hovering over me, especially at night, reminding me that I needed to finish this thing. Sometimes, I needed to write. Sometimes, I just needed to wait for feedback. Now, though, that cloud has lifted. And even though I don't specifically know how finishing my doctorate will directly benefit me right now, it was a goal of mine. And, you know, if you are an instructor at a university, it probablyyyy isn't a bad idea to get a doctorate.

I didn't blog much about the process because I figured it'd be pretty boring and jargon-y, so I thought I'd sum up the three-year journey, even if it's just for me to remember.

In September 2011, I took my comprehensive exam and was officially a doctoral candidate. My Chair suggested that I change my study from qualitative to quantitative, so I had to re-think my project and re-write my entire prospectus. Eliot was about eight months old.

In June 2012, I had finished and received approval for my prospectus, but had trouble getting access to one of the instruments I planned to use. I was supposed to just contact the author. As it turned out, the author was dead. ?!?! I tried contacting the university she was affiliated with. I couldn't get anyone to respond to me. I felt lost and devastated. Around this time, I had a miscarriage. Both my grandmother and Chris's grandmother experienced health issues with their Alzheimer's disease and breaking their hips. It was a very tough time.

In December 2012, I felt like I was so behind. I had wasted so much time looking for this instrument without getting any responses. We moved back to Chesapeake. In the middle of the night while laying on my parents' futon in the guest bedroom (in between houses with the move) with Eliot and Chris sleeping, I found another instrument that would work. It was time to move on.

In February 2013, after we got settled in the new house, Chris would take Eliot on runs, do yard work with Eliot, and take Eliot on special adventures to the zoo and Busch Gardens to give me time to write and work on further developing my literature review to meet the 30-page requirement (an additional 15 pages, I think, from the prospectus). Eliot was two years old and I was four months pregnant with Jack.

In May 2013, I finished my proposal and answered my committee's feedback. My research consultant, though, asked questions that I didn't know how to answer. I wasn't sure if my study could even work. I gave birth to Jack in June and allowed myself a small break. I honestly wasn't sure if my study could go on. I would lay awake at night worrying about my dissertation and feeling so utterly lost. I needed to ask questions. I needed to ask for help.

 In November 2013, I figured out the issues and answered the hard questions. I turned my proposal back in for further review to my research consultant.

In January 2014, Eliot was three and Jack was six months old. I had worked out the kinks and addressed the concerns with my study. I defended my proposal successfully. We went to Disney World! I worked on my Institutional Review Board application at night when the boys went to sleep.

In March 2014, my study made it through the Institutional Review Board (the ethics committee), a process that takes at least a month. From there, I worked on getting trained in Qualtrics in order to collect data with my instruments.

In June 2014, as Jack turned one, I collected data. I did not get enough responses at first (I needed at least 30), so I had to reach out to a larger sample. In the end, I got 39 responses. I was finally able to run my analysis.

In July 2014, I determined a relationship between the variables with a Chi-square and wrote my conclusion while I was supposed to be relaxing on vacation at the Outer Banks.

In September 2014, I received the OK from my committee and research consultant. At the end of  the month, I passed pre-defense (which is like a mock defense).

And here, October 2014, we traveled to Lynchburg for my defense. I presented my project to my committee, answered their questions, and (after I sat in the hall for a few minutes) they congratulated me as a doctor and gave me a few very minor revisions (like shortening the title). It was finally complete. After ten years of schooling after high school, I was a doctor.

And then I paused for a quick selfie in front of DeMoss.