Organizing Drawers, Growing Boys, and Fading Babyhood

Recently, I decided to clean out the boys' dressers again. Eliot had a lot of 2T shirts in his drawers that were far too small for his almost-four-year-old frame, and Jack had some nine months clothes that I was hoping he could wear "just one more time," but he is in 18-24 month and some 2T clothes.

I made the big switch that always baffles me--clothes from Eliot's dresser transitioning straight into Jack's. Honestly, I think I let Eliot's clothes grow tighter on him because I'm not ready to let go, and then I allow Jack to wear looser clothes since he always seems to need more and more and more.

This time, though, the "switch" was a little different. It caught me off guard, even. I found myself placing shirts into Jack's dresser that Eliot had worn while I was pregnant with Jack. That's kind of a confusing sentence, and the implications are big. Jack is still two months away from the age Eliot was when I got pregnant with Jack (Jack is 18 months and Eliot was 20 months). And I'm not saying this means it is time to try for baby number three (not in my plans); I'm just saying, man, that baby boy (most likely my last baby) has grown so big so fast.

Eliot (23 months) and then Jack (18 months) in the same shirt

I am caught between worlds. Jack is our baby, but he is a toddler and growing into such a boy. I will miss all of the baby-ness about him, but I get so excited to see him progress from "baby" to "playmate". Jack wants to do everything Eliot does; however, sometimes he only knows how to take things apart when Eliot is intensely interested in building. It can be frustrating for all of us. While I know Eliot will keep growing, it will be great to watch Jack advance to a level more similar to Eliot. Yet that voice in my heart whispers noooo. Not yet.

Man, I love these boys. And I love them as brothers. No one warns you about the dangerous, emotional business that cleaning out kids' dressers can be, but I am glad that I don't have to pay double in clothes. And I can't wait for springtime so Jack can wear these cute shirts. And we can pick strawberries. And not be freezing anymore.