Not everyone has this approach, though, and I can't protect Eliot from everything. Lately, he has had a couple of rough days at the park. Some kids told him that they hated him. Another day, a girl pushed him off the playground equipment (which is at least five feet tall) and he hit a metal pole before falling onto the ground on his back. He could have really gotten hurt. And what was he doing to deserve such treatment? He just was asking to play. Now, I'll admit that Eliot is not always an angel at the park. He has tackled a kid before (trying to play, not being mean) and I made him apologize. And these kids' parents did tell them to stop, but they didn't say they were sorry. And the damage had already been done.
It's heartbreaking.
What can I do to protect Eliot from rejection?
There isn't much I can do in some ways, and yet there is also so much.
I can continue to build him up and remind him that he is valuable, important, and special.
I can surround him with friends his age that are nice to him. He goes to soccer class once a week where he plays structured games with other kids. He has a number of friends his age--and they all are kind to him. I try set up playdates every couple of weeks at least, but maybe I should try more.
And finally I can talk to him about what happened. I can tell him that those kids were not being nice. I can tell him that they probably didn't mean it, but they should not have acted that way. I can encourage him to not do the same.
Eliot has also had some really great experiences at the park. He makes friends easily and sets up games of chase.
I'm sure this is just the beginning of working through mean exchanges with other kids. I recall friends being cruel to me when I was younger too, and I remember how it hurt. I hope that we can instill in Eliot an understanding of his worth and where that worth comes from.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
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